‘All About Dat Beard’
Posted on 12.25.16 by Danny Glover @ 5:28 pm

A Facebook friend shared a music video parody called “All About Dat Beard” in my news feed today. Posting it here seems like a good follow-up to my decision to don beard ornaments last night. Merry Christmas to all you fellow long-bearded men — and to your “better halves” who hate your facial hair!

Filed under: Culture and Just For Laughs and Music and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music and Redneck Musical Interlude and Video
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Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler Goes Country
Posted on 07.07.15 by Danny Glover @ 6:47 pm

Steven Tyler’s claim to fame is singing and screaming for the rock band Aerosmith. But now the dude who looks like a lady is singing country music.

My Grandpa Tumblebug, who wrote and recorded “Ode to the EPA,” is probably rolling over in his grave. But I have to admit I kind of like Tyler’s new song, “Love Is Your Name.”

Filed under: Family and Music and People and Redneck Music
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Farewell ‘High-Tech Redneck’ George Jones
Posted on 04.27.13 by Danny Glover @ 12:10 am

This morning as my Facebook feed filled with the news that country music legend George Jones had died at age 81, my mind drifted to his 1993 hit song “High-Tech Redneck.” I am one, so the song is perfect fodder for this blog as a tribute to Jones. But as you watch the video and listen to the lyrics, think about how outdated the high-tech redneck of 1993 is today:

Did you catch the size of the headphones on the dog in that video and the cell phone that Jones pulls out at the end? What about the talk of VCRs, cassette tapes and CB radios? Or the reference to a “plugged in” bumpkin? Any redneck celebrating those “advances” today most definitely would fall into the bumpkin category!

Filed under: History and Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Redneck Musical Interlude and Rednecks and Video
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Brad Paisley, The ‘Accidental Racist’
Posted on 04.08.13 by Danny Glover @ 11:41 pm

Back in 1997, President Bill Clinton tried to cement his legacy as America’s “first black president” by initiating a national “conversation about race.” The conversation didn’t last long — or yield much.

More than a decade later in a speech during Black History Month, Attorney General Eric Holder called America “nation of cowards” when it comes to discussing race. And a few weeks ago when a Philadelphia newspaper ran a piece on “Being White in Philly,” Mayor Michael Nutter responded by calling for a formal rebuke of the paper.

This is what happens when political and media elites try to shape public opinion. Maybe it’s time to give a redneck and a rap star a voice in the conversation.

Country boy Brad Paisley, who was born and raised about 40 minutes up the Ohio River from my hometown, and rapper LL Cool J certainly want to be heard. They’re trying to bring enlightenment to the race debate through the lyrics of Paisley’s new song, “Accidental Racist,” which approaches the subject from the perspective of a white Southerner wearing a Confederate flag and black man in a do-rag.

Here’s a snippet from Paisley’s part in the duet:

The red flag on my chest somehow
Is like the elephant in the corner of the South
And I just walked him right in the room
Just a proud rebel son with an ‘ol can of worms
Lookin’ like I got a lot to learn but from my point of view
I’m just a white man comin’ to you from the southland
Tryin’ to understand what it’s like not to be
I’m proud of where I’m from but not everything we’ve done
And it ain’t like you and me can rewrite history

And here’s LL Cool J’s take on the current state of racial affairs:

Filed under: Culture and Entertainment and History and Media and Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Rednecks
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Country Roads Lead To WVU, Not Marshall
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:43 pm

Bad things happen when rednecks “think outside the box” — bad things like Marshall University’s band ending its tradition of playing “Take Me Home, Country Roads” at the behest of unenlightened Athletic Director Mike Hamrick:

Hamrick, who is beginning his second year at Marshall, said the university wanted to go a different direction because of all of the changes being made at the stadium. New video scoreboards and an updated sound system are a few components of the $3 million athletic facilities overhaul that fans will notice next month.

“We’re changing our approach to the game presentation,” Hamrick said. “We want to put together a new concept for the presentation, and ‘Country Roads’ is just not part of that new concept.”

Taking “a different direction” than “Country Roads” in West Virginia is like traveling the wrong way on a one-way street. Marshall has gone to the dark side, giving West Virginia University alumni like me yet another reason to despise the Thundering Herd.

But that’s OK because no band performs “Country Roads” better than WVU’s band. Now the master musicians in the Pride of West Virginia will have the tune all to themselves. I hope they play it with an extra dose of passion when we beat Marshall on the Thundering Herd’s home field come Sept. 11.

Filed under: Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Sports and West Virginia
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‘West Virginia On My Heart’
Posted on 07.03.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:26 pm

West Virginia remembered Sen. Robert C. Byrd at a state Capitol service in the great Mountain State yesterday, and Mark Knoller of CBS tweeted one of the moments that will stick with me:

“He once said, ‘When I am dead and opened, they will find West Virginia on my heart,’” GOP Sen. Mitch McConnell said of Byrd.

That much Byrd and I have in common. West Virginia will forever be on my heart. (The words also were etched into postcard-sized memorial photos of Byrd.)

The other moment from the memorial that moved me, literally almost to tears, is when a bluegrass band started playing “Country Roads” and the crowd sang the lyrics to John Denver’s famous song while the honor guard carried Byrd’s casket back into the Capitol.

I can’t hear that song without getting chills. I love my home, and no matter how long I live in the Washington, D.C., area or anywhere else, I’ll always be a proud hillbilly from West Virginia.

Filed under: Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Rednecks and West Virginia
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Violent Musical Fantasies That Make You Smile
Posted on 06.26.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:23 pm

Country musicians have a twisted knack for making violence seem amusing. The latest entry in this niche music genre is the song “Pray For You,” by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.

Here are the deadly wishes for a wife scorned from the chorus alone: “I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill. I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to. I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls. I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls. I pray all your dreams never come true. Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but smile, especially when I watch the video.

I unsuccessfully fought the same urge — being entertained by violent, sometimes deadly fantasies set to catchy music rather than offended by them — when The Dixie Chicks released “Goodbye Earl” and when Carrie Underwood’s tune “Before He Cheats” rose to the top of the charts. The latter is still one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers. Enjoy these online encore performances:

Filed under: Entertainment and Just For Laughs and Music and Redneck Music and Video
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‘You Picked A Fine Time To Lead Us, Barack’
Posted on 04.07.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:53 pm

You might be an enlightened redneck … if you appreciate a parody song that meshes the music of country legend Kenny Rogers with the political messaging of the tea party movement.

Filed under: Entertainment and News & Politics and Redneck Music and Video
Comments: 4 Comments

Broadband For Rednecks Everywhere!
Posted on 03.11.10 by Danny Glover @ 1:37 pm

In my new role as the editorial director of Digital Society, I’ve been focused like a laser on high-speed Internet the past few weeks. The FCC will be releasing its national broadband plan in six days, so leaders of the commission have been making the rounds on the speaking circuit to promote pieces of the plan.

The central message of the plan is that all Americans need broadband access — Commissioner Michael Copps this week even joined the chorus of people proclaiming it as a “right” — so the government must take steps to ensure that the poor, minorities, the elderly and, yes, rednecks in rural areas are enlightened by the Internet.

The FCC is so committed to selling its plan that Chairman Julius Genachowski spoke to the Country Music Association’s board of directors at its meeting in Washington yesterday.

Of course, country bumpkins are way too backward to understand the high-tech lingo of the FCC, so Genachowski’s staff translated his speech into “Nashvillese” that features country music titles:

When I think of those “Country Roads” and “Wide Open Spaces” without broadband, I “Fall to Pieces” and say that’s “Crazy.” We need to address these “Unanswered Prayers.”

As FCC chairman, I have friends in high places and “Friends in Low Places,” and I’m pulled to and fro on policy issues, but “I Walk the Line.” That’s because telecom politics is like a “Ring of Fire.” First I have Senator Rockefeller telling me about a “Coal Miner’s Daughter” who can’t get wireless service in some “Foggy Mountain Breakdown.” Next, “I’m on the Road Again” to where “The Grass is Blue” and “A Boy Named Sue” stops me and says we need super-duper fast broadband all the way from “Boulder to Birmingham”” — and beyond, to “Galveston” and “El Paso.” He complains that his slow dial-up service can’t get to “Amarillo by Morning” and laments that America has gone round and round for years without a National Broadband Plan and plaintively asks, “Will the Circle Be Unbroken?”

I explain — to the “Boy Named Sue” — that this issue is “Always on my Mind” and the lack of a plan should not make him “Hurt” or a “Man of Constant Sorrow” with his “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain.” Instead, I tell him to “Take it Easy” — “Don’t Rock the Jukebox” … just try to “Keep on the Sunny Side” and dream “Sweet Dreams” — because A National Broadband Plan is coming. Next week.”

Don’t you feel so much more enlightened about broadband now?

Filed under: Entertainment and Government and Music and News & Politics and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music and Rednecks and Technology
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Before Tiger Woods Cheats
Posted on 12.09.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:02 pm

Some people jumped to the defense of celebrity golfer Tiger Woods soon after rumors began swirling that his scorned wife, Elin, had caused him to wreck his car by bashing the window with a golf club after the she confronted him about marital infidelity.

Woods refuted the rumor, saying that his wife had “acted courageously” to help him after the accident and that he alone was responsible for the accident.

Three days later, however, he vaguely admitted to cheating on his wife: “I have let my family down, and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves.”

Since then, numerous women, if you can really use that word for porn stars, cocktail waitresses and the like, have laid claim to the title of Tiger Woods mistress. At last count, Woods had almost as many alleged mistresses (11) as he as major golf championships (14).

Granted, Woods hasn’t directly admitted to adultery and certainly not with any specific ladies. The evidence of him having cheated with anyone also is scant at this point.

But if even a kernel of what has been reported is true, perhaps Elin Woods can take a cue from country singer Carrie Underwood about how to respond to a cheatin’ scoundrel:

Filed under: Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Sports and Video
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