Jay Leno Was Wrong About W.Va. — Again
Posted on 01.16.12 by Danny Glover @ 2:19 pm

I’ve had my work published in some of America’s top publications, including The New York Times, but there’s something special about seeing my byline for the first time in the local newspaper I delivered as a child — and in defense of my fellow West Virginians and Mountaineers.

After writing a blog post about Jay Leno’s West Virginia jokes, I asked the executive editor of The Intelligencer/Wheeling News-Register if he would be interested in publishing a column on the issue. He agreed. It ran in print yesterday and went online today.

Here are excerpts from the column (with one background link added by me):

For one magnificent moment after the Orange Bowl on Jan. 4, West Virginia University and the entire state of West Virginia were the talk of America. Sports fans were in awe of the Mountaineers, who set record after record in one of the greatest football games in college history.

We West Virginians should have known the hillbilly bashers wouldn’t let us bask in the glory for long, and sure enough, the predictable slam came less than 24 hours after the final whistle.

“And West Virginia beat Clemson in the Orange Bowl last night by a score of 70-33,” Jay Leno said in his “Tonight Show” monologue the day after the game. “West Virginia scored 70 points? Huh, West Virginia? They don’t score that high on their SATs.”

Leno apparently holds to the comedic philosophy that when all else fails — and the “Tonight Show” has been one big fail after another for the past two years — just tell a West Virginia joke. …

Leno hasn’t yet sunk as low as Vice President Dick Cheney, who scored a cheap laugh in 2008 by characterizing West Virginia as a state full of inbreeding rednecks. But he’s sliding toward that gutter. His latest jab alienated the West Virginians who still watch Leno and further infuriated those who long ago tuned out the “Tonight Show.” …

But that’s OK. We West Virginians don’t need the affirmation of entertainers or politicians or anyone else who finds joy in insulting us. Most Americans voted against West Virginia before the Orange Bowl, and as our Mountaineers boasted at the end of the game, most Americans were wrong.

They always are when it comes to Almost Heaven.

Read the whole column at the newspaper’s website.


Filed under: Hatin' On Rednecks and Media and People and Rednecks and Sports and West Virginia
Comments: None

Obie’s Revenge
Posted on 01.12.12 by Danny Glover @ 12:51 am

The Orange Bowl is juicing the controversy over last week’s sacking of mascot “Obie” for all the cheesy, pun-filled comedy its worth.

During the game, West Virginia safety Darwin Cook tackled Obie after a fumble recovery and 99-yard touchdown return. Obie made as many highlight reels as Cook, especially after Cook admitted that he knocked the mascot down on purpose to send a message.

“When I saw him, I felt like he was doubting us, too, so I smashed him,” Cook told the Dominion Post in Morgantown, W.Va. “Oh yeah, that was on purpose because he was doubting us. I had to tackle Obie.” Only later, in an on-field interview, did Cook learn that Obie was a girl.

Today the Orange Bowl published tweets that featured a photo and video of Obie supposedly being released from the hospital after a week of recovery. Obie is none too happy with Cook and apparently plotting revenge.

“We have one angry orange. This could become a very juicy situation,” a reporter said in a mock Orange Bowl report.


Filed under: Just For Laughs and People and Sports and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

The Vulgar ‘Modern Family’
Posted on 01.11.12 by Danny Glover @ 12:30 pm

Hollywood plans to send a sad but true statement next week about the vulgar realities of today’s modern family. ABC will air an episode of “Modern Family” about a 2-1/2-year-old toddler who says the dirtiest of dirty words.

“We thought it was a very natural story since, as parents, we’ve all been through this,” the show’s creator, Steve Levitan, said in defending the storyline.

Levitan’s explanation stretches credibility. His latest envelope-pushing plot is more a case of crude Hollywood social engineers trying to shove society further down the road of immorality than “entertainment” reflecting a norm. But he’s not too far ahead of the reality curve.

I’ve documented America’s seemingly perpetual slide into the pit of profanity on this blog:

Too many people think it’s cool, creative and comical to cuss. There is almost no circumstance where uttering a bad word is considered a bad thing. In that atmosphere, it is inevitable that men like Levitan will see how far they can go to make their black mark on society.

I wish Simon Cowell’s attitude held more sway in Hollywood and reality. He is determined to produce family entertainment free of swearing.

But when it comes to language, George Carlin is the hero. His admirers won’t rest until everyone from toddlers to grannies utter all seven of his dirty words (and then some) with reckless abandon at home, in school, on the job and across the airwaves.


Filed under: Culture and Entertainment and Parenting and People and Religion
Comments: 2 Comments

The Sacking Of Obie The Orange
Posted on 01.05.12 by Danny Glover @ 8:22 pm

One of the most memorable plays from last night’s Orange Bowl — the 99-yard touchdown by West Virginia University safety Darwin Cook after a fumble recovery — ended with one of the most humorous moments in college football history: Cook sacked “Obie,” the Orange Bowl’s mascot.

“I didn’t know you were a girl,” Cook told the mascot when he hugged her on the field after the game. “I apologize.”


Filed under: Just For Laughs and People and Sports and Video and West Virginia
Comments: 1 Comment

The ‘Mindless Exhibitionism’ Of The NFL
Posted on 11.28.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:42 pm

I loved the National Football League as a child. Each Sunday between morning and evening worship services, I flopped onto the couch or sprawled across the floor in front of the TV to watch as much football as possible, especially my beloved Dallas Cowboys.

I’m still a diehard football fan, but I all but abandoned the NFL long ago. The “mindless exhibitionism” on display in this video commentary by Bob Costas is the reason:

I’m not the least bit entertained by grown men engaged in “calculated displays of obnoxious self-indulgence.” I’ve even lost interest in watching NFL games on Thanksgiving Day and watching the Super Bowl, the two times when I’ve typically made exceptions and endured the “buffoonery” of players and permissiveness of coaches who have no sense of sportsmanship.

These days I focus on college football — and sadly, I can see the day coming when it, too, will become intolerable to watch because of the oversize children who occupy today’s gridiron.


Filed under: Culture and People and Sports and Video
Comments: None

Rep. Paul Ryan, Deer Slayer
Posted on 11.23.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:35 pm

During the legislative season, Paul Ryan is a budget geek in Congress. But when hunting season comes, he’s a whitetail wonk and a sharpshooter in the wilds of Wisconsin.

The proof is in this picture that Ryan, R-Wis., posted to his Facebook page today:

“I butcher my own deer, grind the meat, stuff it in casings and then smoke it,” Ryan told Politico. “Not much to it.”

That, my friends, is an enlightened redneck.


Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Government and Hunting & Guns and People and Photography and Rednecks and Wildlife
Comments: None

Megyn Kelly’s Life Of Crime
Posted on 11.02.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:45 pm

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly confessed her life of crime to a national television audience today. Well, it wasn’t so much a life of crime as a one-time shoplifting incident for Halloween when she was 12, but the admission still made some entertaining TV:

“That’s it,” a sheepish Kelly said to close the segment. “Now I won’t be able to run for president or be a Supreme Court justice because I confessed my crime on national television.”


Filed under: Media and News & Politics and People and Video
Comments: None

Someone Get Andrew Luck A Hanky
Posted on 10.30.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:08 pm

Andrew Luck definitely has enlightened redneck potential.

He’s a football star at an elite school (Stanford University), a candidate for the coveted Heisman Trophy and the son of West Virginia University athletic director Oliver Luck (once a Rhodes Scholar candidate from WVU). But Andrew Luck also is not afraid to blow projectile snot out his nose on national television:

I saw this happen live last night, but it was late. I thought maybe Luck had spit and the camera angle made it look like snot. Instant replay, however, confirmed that I saw what I thought I saw. Someone get the man a hanky!


Filed under: Just For Laughs and People and Redneck Humor and Sports and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

How To Lose ‘The Hick Vote’
Posted on 10.17.11 by Danny Glover @ 5:55 pm

Politicians who say “I’m going for the hick vote” significantly lower their chances of getting it.

Liberal Democrat Elizabeth Warren, who fancies herself an “elite hick,” made that mistake last week on the LeftAhead podcast, Politico reports. Here’s what she told her interviewer, who also touted his redneck roots in Oklahoma and West Virginia:

I’m going for the hick vote here, I just want you to know. Maybe we could start wearing stickers that say ‘Hicks for Elizabeth’ – could we do that?

Warren undoubtedly is an elite and may well be an elite hick. But that’s a fer piece (as we hicks say) from “enlightened redneck.” True hicks and rednecks don’t have to tell people that’s what they are. They live it. I have yet to see it in Warren.


Filed under: News & Politics and People and Rednecks and West Virginia
Comments: None

I Didn’t Call The President A Racist Devil
Posted on 07.07.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:03 pm

[This is a reprint of a blog post I wrote at Beltway Blogroll on Sept. 22, 2006. It's one of my favorite stories about sharing the same name as a celebrity.]

I didn’t call the president a racist devil. That was Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez at the United Nations earlier this week. And I didn’t stand with Chavez at a church in Harlem, N.Y., when he called George Bush “an alcoholic and a sick man.”

That was Danny Glover the actor. I’m just a lowly journalist who hasn’t written word one about Chavez (until now). So please, please, please, stop sending me e-mails that read like this:

– “I’m very ashamed of you. I have been a great fan of yours. … Danny, your actions are traderous! (sic) You should be ashamed politically. But on a grander scale the issues are spiritual and you are aligned with the devil and against God because of what, politics? Don’t be a fool.”

– “Danny boy. If Chavez is your brother why don’t you move to Vennez. Don’t crap where you eat.”

– “I am sickened to live in the same country as you. I hope you don’t call yourself an American. May God help you.”

– “You, sir, are a piece of trash. Never again will I spend my money or time to patronize any movie or film that you have an active part in. You have sunken to the lowest levels of Americanism possible.”

– “I cannot believe you live in this country and confess to be a communist.”

By all means, boycott the movies of Danny Glover if you choose. Or maybe buy your gas somewhere other than Venezuela-backed Citgo, which is what bloggers like Michelle Malkin, Ed Morrissey and Mark Tapscott are doing or discussing. But please don’t protest in my in-box.


Filed under: Family and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and People
Comments: None

The Illegal Immigrant Among Us
Posted on 06.28.11 by Danny Glover @ 12:20 pm

Three years ago, my wife and I had the pleasure of hosting a young Guatemalan man in our Virginia home for a few weeks. Andres came to the United States on a work visa for a job in Texas, but when he arrived, his sponsoring employer told Andres he had no work available.

The employer then told Andres he could use the short-term visa to work anywhere in the country. He chose Northern Virginia, in part because of the job market and in part because mutual friends introduced Andres to our family — including the three children we adopted from Guatemala.

We loved having Andres in our home. The children adored him and even took an interest in learning their native tongue, an idea they had resisted for years when Mom and Dad suggested it. We took Andres to the White House, treated him to exotic meals (by Guatemalan standards) and spoiled him as best we could while he struggled to make sense of his immigration status.

But after a trip to the Guatemalan embassy, we became concerned that Andres had no right to be in America. We paid an immigration lawyer who confirmed that suspicion.

Andres’ would-be employer had lied. His visa gave him the right to work only in Texas, only for that employer and only for a few months. He was an illegal immigrant — and living in our home. Worse, he was in a city on the prowl for illegal immigrants, with our house located just blocks from the “Liberty Wall of Truth” in Manassas.

The lawyer advised Andres to stay in our home until he could take the earliest flight to Guatemala. We bought his airline ticket and sent him home to the needy family he had come to America to support.

I thought of Andres last week as I read and watched the confession of “undocumented immigrant” Jose Antonio Vargas, a Pulitzer-winning journalist who lied for more than a decade so he could stay in America and rise to glory in a profession that prides itself on truth-telling.

I am part of that profession. I also happen to know Jose, who cited me as a source on technology and politics when he was a reporter at The Washington Post. (I was the editor of National Journal’s Technology Daily.) And I am shocked to see him being heralded as a hero.

The story of how Jose learned he was an illegal immigrant at age 16, four years after he came to America, is heart-rending. He was a victim of the deceptions of adults he trusted, his mother in the Philippines and his grandparents in California.

But there is nothing heroic about manipulating the legal system and lying to employers to get one’s way, as Jose did time and again once he knew the truth.
(more…)


Filed under: Adoption and Family and Friends and Government and Human Interest and Media and News & Politics and People and Technology and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

This Summer’s Redneck Treat: Fried Kool-Aid
Posted on 06.21.11 by Danny Glover @ 5:50 pm

“There’s nothing that I can’t fry, and there’s nothing that I won’t fry.” That’s what “Chicken” Charlie Boghosian, a fairground deep-fry master in San Diego, told ABC News in explaining the origins of his latest delicacy — fried Kool-Aid.

Boghosian’s culinary masterpiece is a hit on YouTube and across the Internet. How long before his work inspires a new spin on an old cliche: “Somebody’s been eating the Kool-Aid.”

Add a batch of deep-fried bacon and a chaser of fried Oreos or Snickers, and you have a well-balanced redneck feast:


Filed under: Food and Human Interest and People and Video
Comments: None

The Democratic Definition Of Civility
Posted on 06.08.11 by Danny Glover @ 5:51 pm

Politicians of all stripes love to talk civility, but few of them walk the talk. The hypocrisy is bipartisan, but one Democratic lawmaker in particular has made clear in recent days that she’s not the least bit interested in civil discourse with or about her colleagues.

Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schulz of Florida, the chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee, has accused Republicans of pushing a Medicare plan that is a “death trap” for seniors, “literally dragging us all the way back to Jim Crow laws,” throwing “young people to the wolves,” and being “anti-women.”

She clearly went to the Howard Dean School of Decorum.


Filed under: Government and News & Politics and People and Video
Comments: None

My Dad The Mermaid
Posted on 06.05.11 by Danny Glover @ 4:17 pm

Dale Price is a redneck with a twisted sense of humor — sophomoric even, in the sense that he used it against his son for the poor kid’s entire sophomore year of high school.

The Utah Dad donned a different costume every school day, and as his son Rain boarded the bus, Dale Price stepped out the front door, artificial leg and all, to wave goodbye.

Some of the costumes were tame — cowboy, “Old Spice Dad” and clown — but when your Dad appears in public as a mermaid, Batgirl, a shirtless fireman or while sitting on the toilet, that’s downright embarrassing.

A relative documented the spectacle at a blog called Wave at the Bus. It ended with a roundup post that featured links to many of the costumes.

This school-free summer, which began June 2, will be the best of Rain Price’s life. It’s a good thing he kept his grades up high enough to avoid summer school.

The upside for Rain, according to his Dad: “He can use it against his kids and tell them, ‘If you think you are embarrassed by me, you should have seen your grandfather.’”


Filed under: Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Parenting and People and Redneck Humor and Video
Comments: None

My Guiding Light
Posted on 02.14.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:07 am

On this Valentine’s Day, I will let the eloquent, passionate, late senator from West Virginia, Robert Byrd, speak for me about the importance of a soul mate to a man:


My guiding light, my angel from the sky, is Kimberly Johnson Glover. Like too many middle-aged men who become complacent in marriage and take for granted the value of a God-fearing wife and mother, I don’t tell her — or show her — often enough how important she is in my life.

Today is a good day to start. Yesterday would have been better. Tomorrow will be.


Filed under: Family and Holidays and People and Religion and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

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