The Worm For The Win
Posted on 04.14.14 by Danny Glover @ 10:52 pm

As a tee-totaling redneck, I’ve always been annoyed that beer brands make some of the most clever TV ads. But you gotta give props where props are due, and Keystone Light has a winner in my book with its fishing ad that glorifies the lowly worm:

I’ve always been partial to the worm as bait. During my high school years, I earned some hefty pocket change catching dozens of nightcrawlers a night in my hometown and selling them for 50 cents to 65 cents per dozen. My biggest problem as a businessman was not using the inventory myself in the Ohio River and its tributary streams on the West Virginia side of the river.

Some of my fishing mentors and companions razzed me over my choice of bait. Even the hillbilly hollers have their share of anglers who look down their noses if you use live bait, and especially nightcrawlers, instead of tying a fly, a spinner or some other lure on the end of your line. Dough balls, corn and even stink bait for catfish ranked higher in their minds than dirty worms.

“A River Runs Through It” memorialized this brand of redneck elitism in a scene where the bumbling bait fisherman showed up late and drunk, with a coffee can full of worms. The uppity fly fishermen, the movie’s main characters, found him hours later, naked and sunburned because he fell asleep in the grass with the hussy he brought with him.

But no matter how much mocking I endured, I never wavered from the worms. I also usually caught far more fish than my friends who were loyal to their lures, as did the fishermen who came knocking on my parents’ door for bait — sometimes to the tune of 20 dozen or more at once.

The pinnacle of my fishing youth came on the day when the man who taught me the most about the sport asked if I’d share my worms with him. He had been fishing all day with his favorite lure, white Curly Tail Grubs from Mister Twister.

For every bass he tricked with those lures, I hooked two to three with my nightcrawlers. They were biting within seconds after my bait hit the water. His “luck” improved dramatically when he swapped the plastic for the natural.

My mentor was a teetotaler, too, but if a non-alcoholic version of Keystone Light had existed back then, he just might have bought me a brew to toast the worm for the win.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Family and Fishing and Rednecks and Sports and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

Sweet Dog, Mean Cat, Strong Mouse
Posted on 01.11.14 by Danny Glover @ 2:56 pm

Two funny animal videos made their way into my Facebook feed this morning. The first illustrates the difference between mama dogs and mama cats:

The second is a commercial from 2010 that looks like it’s sure to infuriate the “animals are people, too” crowd but ends on a happy note for the mouse:

Both videos made me laugh, which is a good way to start the weekend. Enjoy yours.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Just For Laughs and Pets and Video
Comments: None

How To Fry A Turkey (Not Like Uncle Si)
Posted on 11.28.13 by Danny Glover @ 10:16 am

My wife remembers with much amusement the first time my Mom and I fried a turkey for Thanksgiving. Mom had done so much research into the safety hazards of the cooking technique that both of us were terrified of catching the house or ourselves on fire.

We placed the fryer on the very outer edge of the concrete patio in our backyard to put as much distance as possible between the fryer and our house. We stretched the gas line that runs between the propane tank and the burner as far as it would go and then stood as far away as our arms would reach to light the flame. When it came time to lower the turkey into the boiling vat of oil, we would have used a 10-foot pole if we had one, just to ensure our safety.

We were quite the spectacle as my wife watched from the kitchen window.

But hey, at least we didn’t end up like Si Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame in this warning video from State Farm:

Be careful out there this Thanksgiving, all you enlightened rednecks with deep fryers!


Filed under: Advertising and Family and Food and Holidays and Redneck Humor and Video
Comments: None

The Death (And Rebirth) Of A News Town
Posted on 01.02.13 by Danny Glover @ 7:30 am

Seventeen years ago when my wife and I moved to Manassas, Va., this ink-stained wretch found himself in the heart of a newspaper boom town. With a population of less than 35,000 at the time, Manassas was the target audience of three local daily newspapers, the Manassas Journal Messenger, Potomac News and Prince William Journal. The Washington Post also had a small local bureau in the city.

The Internet revolution was in its infancy then, but as the news editor of Congressional Quarterly’s BillWatch legislative database, I had transitioned into the digital space and was an early convert to the gospel of digital media. I wanted to believe that daily print newspapers had a future but was skeptical. The move to Manassas gave me hope.

My hope for daily newspapers, at least as we old-timers know them in newsprint, died on Sunday, Dec. 30, 2012. That was the last day of publication for the News & Messenger, the product of an Oct. 13, 2008, merger between the Journal Messenger and Potomac News.

WordPress plugin


World Media Enterprises, owned by Warren Buffet, who has been buying newspapers across America for two years, blamed the demise of the News & Messenger on bad business conditions. “We do not see a long-term viable way to maintain a daily news operation here,” the company said upon announcing the decision in mid-November.

So Manassas is starting the New Year without its own daily newspaper, ending an era that dates to at least 1869 when the Journal Messenger started publishing.

“We can only hope that the existing papers among us ratchet up their daily coverage of our community in our sudden absence,” the News & Messenger said in its farewell editorial.

My friend Mark Tapscott, who once served as editor of the Prince William Journal and who now serves as executive editor of the Washington Examiner that absorbed the Journal Newspapers in 2004, shared his thoughts with me on the closing of the News & Messenger. “The biggest puzzler here,” he said, “is how a county of 400,000 people doesn’t have sufficient demand to support at least one newspaper or website devoted to local news.”

The good news is that we may. While we in Manassas won’t have our own daily newspaper anymore, the larger Prince William County will have two weekly newspapers and two websites covering local news in the future.
(more…)


Filed under: Advertising and Business and History and Media and News & Politics and Social Media
Comments: None

Candy Corn Oreos: Halloween Trick Or Treat?
Posted on 09.07.12 by Danny Glover @ 4:22 pm

The question in the headline is rhetorical. Anyone who would corrupt the sweet Oreos combination of chocolate wafers and vanilla cream with the horrid flavor mix that is candy corn obviously is perpetrating a vicious Halloween trick on American consumers.

Unfortunately, Candy Corn Oreos are not an imaginary nightmare on Main Street. They are about to become a reality at Target stores thanks to some evil marketing genius with a sick sense of humor.

The news is all over the Internet today, and I knew before I read it that someone covering the story was sure to use the phrase “outside the box,” which too often is synonymous with bad ideas.

I’ve explained my animosity toward that phrase before. Now, with the introduction of Candy Corn Oreos, I’ve decided to revive my regular ridicule of the concept with a new feature on this blog. Consider this the first official installment of “Outside The Box.”

While we’re talking about nasty attempts at sweet treats, enjoy comedian Tim Hawkins’ take on the subject to start your weekend:


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Food and Holidays and Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Outside The Box and People and Video
Comments: None

Little Baby’s: Ice Cream For Psychos
Posted on 08.27.12 by Danny Glover @ 8:19 am

Does this make you want to eat Little Baby’s Ice Cream?

I didn’t think so. But it did make more than 2 million people want to watch the ad on YouTube. The ad clearly accomplished the goal of introducing more people to the Little Baby’s brand — enough of them that President Obama’s campaign paid to build a preview of its “Blatant” ad into the video pre-roll, which is what played when I just watched the Little Baby’s ad.

But few consumers are likely to rush out and buy ice cream pitched as the key to “glistening skin” and “clean and clear pores.” Just the thought of eating Little Baby’s now makes my stomach turn. All I see are scary eyes and hairy cream.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Food and Just For Laughs and Video
Comments: None

Redneck Jewelry
Posted on 08.26.12 by Danny Glover @ 11:12 pm

Conservative columnist Michelle Malkin, either inadvertently or perhaps intentionally, became the pitch woman for a line of redneck jewelry last week. After an appearance on Fox News where she wore a necklace made of a .50-caliber toothpick holder, her fans asked what it was and where she got it. The answer: the Etsy store of a Pennsylvania craftsman whose nephew is a Marine.

Malkin posted a link to the store on her Facebook page, so I decided to visit. Every redneck should click there as well to see the abundance of creative products. My favorites are the .50-caliber toothpick holder, redneck sippy cup and antler candle holder.

I could have done without the Wolf Pack necklace advertised on a hairy chest. That’s not the best way to market a product.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Hunting & Guns and People
Comments: None

How The Legendary ‘Flying WV’ Was Born
Posted on 05.15.12 by Danny Glover @ 2:58 pm

I was born more than a decade before West Virginia University football players started sporting the current logo on their helmets, but I don’t remember seeing what came before the “Flying WV” we Mountaineers cherish today. Now I know the story behind that storied logo, which has made WVU “one of the top royalty-producing colleges in the country.”

Jake Stump of the WVU Alumni Magazine unearthed the details in what he called “hardnosed, investigative (ahem) journalism.” It all started in 1979 with the arrival of new football coach Don Nehlen to the campus. The old football uniform, helmet and logo, with “WVU” overlaying an outlined map of West Virginia, had no pizzazz, so Nehlen commissioned one to make a statement.

The details of the logo’s past remain murky even after Stump’s research because Nehlen and the other people behind the vision and the design don’t remember events exactly the same. But the story is fascinating anyway (at least for Mountaineers fans like me). Here’s the heart of it:

What we now know and love as the “Flying WV” was born on a sheet of wax paper. John Boyd Martin’s main inspiration? Mountains. Yes. West Virginia has mountains. WVU’s mascot is a mountaineer. Such an obvious fit.

“The first thing I did was play around with the initials,” Martin said. “When you put a W and a V together, you had mountains. They may call it the ‘Flying WV,’ but to me, it depicts mountains.”
(more…)


Filed under: 1980s and Advertising and Business and Culture and Human Interest and People and Sports and West Virginia
Comments: 1 Comment

Ned Stevens Gutter Talk
Posted on 12.21.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:01 am

A few weeks ago at my company’s blog, I sang the praises of social media as the best communications tool for getting satisfaction after bad consumer experiences.

Lodging complaints via Facebook and Twitter is far more effective than using the telephone, I said. “Why endure that grief, which often yields no satisfaction, when I can spur a major corporation into action by tweeting 140 characters or by posting an embarrassing photo to Facebook?”

Days later, I unintentionally proved my own point during an infuriating phone encounter with Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning. Both my wife and I had to endure an obnoxious lecture from an employee more determined to “educate” us about the realities of gutter cleaning than to abide by the guarantee that our gutters actually were clean.

We’ve been customers of Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning for several years, ever since we moved into a three-story home whose gutters are beyond my limited ladder reach. We’ve been pleased with the company’s service most of the time, but we have had occasional problems, including our neighbor once witnessing Ned Stevens Gutter employees failing to clean all of the gutters on our house. When we reported that incident, the company sent a crew back to the house to finish the job.

Ned Stevens Gutter often sends workers to our home when we are not here to witness the cleaning, so it takes a certain measure of trust to believe its teams do the work effectively. We hadn’t had any major problems except for the one episode, though, so Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning had earned our trust. The company lost that trust in a big way two weeks ago.
(more…)


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Family and Social Media
Comments: 1 Comment

‘Smartphones To Do Dumb Things’
Posted on 07.02.11 by Danny Glover @ 12:26 pm

Another winning commercial from the ad wizards at Geico, this one aimed at techies:

Geico needs to stick with that theme in it’s commercials rather than the lame “That’s Amazing” series also airing simultaneously. This mermaid ad in particular is weak tea:

While I’m talking TV ads (and smartphones), I love Samsung’s spider ad for the Infuse 4G:

I actually would have missed it the first time it aired in our home but for the woman’s scream. That will get your attention!


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Technology and Video
Comments: None

Why I Won’t Buy Oreo Fudge Cremes
Posted on 04.18.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:28 pm

As our young children and I watched television Saturday evening, I saw a commercial for a new product called Oreo Fudge Cremes. My sweet tooth was sold by the visuals in the ad, and I told the kids we would have to buy these fudge-coated cookies soon.

But a few hours later, after the kids were in bed and my wife and I were watching TV, the commercial played again. This time my ears heard the words of the ad, and I was not impressed.

The specific words that caught my attention, an exclamation uttered by the mother in the ad, were “Shut the front door!” They may look innocuous in written form, but the inflection in the mother’s voice and the context of the ad made me think she was sending an entirely different message — and a vulgar one at that — to myself and millions of other viewers.

The “f” in “front” sounded like code for the “f” in a four-letter word — one of the few dirty words the FCC still won’t let people say on TV.

I had never heard the euphemism “shut the front door” to imply “shut the [expletive] up” before, so I gave Nabisco the benefit of a doubt. Before making an unfair judgment, I Googled “shut the front door”; I was not surprised by the results.

That I had to turn to the Urban Slang Dictionary and Online Slang Dictionary to answer my question speaks volumes about the etymology of the phrase. But what I learned is that proud-to-be-crude radio host Jason (Buckethead) Bailey coined the phrase precisely as a way to curse while avoiding FCC sanctions for indecency on the air.

I also learned that the makers of the Oreo ad clearly knew this and willfully chose to degrade America’s commercial culture another notch. The ad immediately caught the attention of advertising industry experts, undoubtedly part of the target audience.

The Adweek analysis gets to the heart of why I hate this Oreo ad so much: “Mom’s ‘Shut the front door’ line will surely be repeated in actual, nonhyperbolic families during the course of the spot’s TV run.”

Yes, and our impressionable, home-schooled children, who know neither the f-word nor the subtle techniques of worldly ad wizards, may be among those who repeat it in ignorance, thinking it’s just a goofy exclamation. And they may think me a fuddy-duddy for insisting that saying “shut the front door” makes people hear something they wouldn’t want to say.

“That’s distracting and not really humorous, at least to this mom,” Dallas Morning News arts editor Leslie Snyder said after she saw the ad.

So Nabisco, you hooked me with the promise of a tasty new treat, but you blew it with your too-clever-by-half ad strategy. Don’t expect to sell any Oreo Fudge Cremes to my family — and do expect me to warn our wholesome friends that you’re no longer a family-friendly advertiser.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Food and Home Schooling and Parenting and Video
Comments: 23 Comments

Danny Glover As Therapist
Posted on 06.28.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:05 pm

I’m talking about this Danny Glover, the enlightened redneck, not the actor who made my name famous.

The headline is just my cheap attempt at driving more traffic to the site to see the video of the latest television ad for Geico insurance. My wife tells me that it’s a spot-on portrayal of what I would be like had I chosen to become a psychiatrist — and I was never a drill sergeant in the military.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Just For Laughs and Video
Comments: None

The Big Lie: ‘Excellent Salary And Benefits’
Posted on 01.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:57 pm

I just saw a new posting for a job that I interviewed for two weeks ago. The ad boasts that the job offers “excellent salary and benefits.”

I’ve always known that was a meaningless claim in theory, and now I know it in practice. This is the same company where the human resources chief was literally stunned when I quoted a salary that would have been a 10 percent pay cut for me. I know all too well how bad the media market is right now and am willing to take a pay cut for the right job. But that’s not enough for some companies.

“Wow, that’s way outside the range we were looking at,” the HR woman said. In other words, “excellent salary and benefits” is in the eyes of the employer, not the job candidate with 20 years of experience.

It’s all a big lie and false advertising at its worst.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Media
Comments: None

The Era Of ‘Husky’ Kids
Posted on 01.08.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:58 am

I’m not a fan of oats, National brand or otherwise, unless they are in cookies. But I managed to fulfill National Oats’ goal of becoming a “husky” kid just the same.

That’s a good thing, right?

(Hat tip to Instapundit)


Filed under: Advertising and Culture and Food
Comments: None

Bonkers For Krystal Burgers
Posted on 12.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 1:28 pm

I’ve never eaten a Krystal hamburger, but I certainly the kind of appreciate food nostalgia that would drive a person to drive 30 miles round trip for a taste fix.

That’s what Angela Sims-Quinty started doing a few years ago, and continues to do on a regular basis to eat Krystal burgers now that the chain opened a restaurant near her home in Houston.

Her passion earned her a spot in the Krystal Lovers Hall of Fame — and her image and story on Krystal burger boxes everywhere for a month. “You know you’re a redneck when your sister’s picture is on a Krystal’s burger box,” her brother said.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Food and Human Interest
Comments: None

previous posts »
The Redneck Report


Featured Entries

Recent Entries

Categories

Syndication
RSS 2.0
Comments RSS 2.0
WordPress

Social Networks

Search
Archives
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
May 2007
January 2007
July 2006
April 2006
March 2006
September 2005
August 2005
June 2005
April 2004
March 2004

Blogroll

Blogs I Read

Enlightened Reads

My Other Blogs

Redneck Reads

Video Stops


Copyright © 2014 Danny Glover. All rights reserved.
Site by Three Group