Camp Ice Cream
Posted on 03.11.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 12:11 pm

You gotta love a grandma who will go the extra mile — or, in this case, the extra two days — to get her grandson a memorable ice-cream treat:

Michelle Cuestas of Green Bay used two vacation days and camped out for 43 hours to make sure her grandson would be first in line for the 2010 opening of a Stevens Point ice-cream landmark. …

Cuestas arrived Wednesday at 4 p.m. She planned to spend the night in her car but after locking her keys in the car, she instead slept in the Belts bathroom. Brayden arrived Thursday morning. The two passed the last 24 hours playing games, reading and drawing.

It reminds me of the good ol’ days when my wife camped in the streets of our nation’s capital to get our kids tickets to the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, which is just weeks away. Alas, President Obama killed that family tradition last year.

But the local ice-cream shop just opened, so I’m taking the family there for a treat today — after we scarf some Costco pizza for lunch.


Filed under: Family and Food and Human Interest
Comments: None

Sarah Palin’s Redneck Teleprompter
Posted on 03.07.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 11:29 pm

The Urban Dictionary gained a new entry and definition last month courtesy of “2008 Enlightened Redneck of the Year” Sarah Palin. The entry: redneck teleprompter. The definition: “Crib notes written on a public speaker’s hand in order to remind him or her what to say during a speech or interview.”

Palin’s decision to fill the palm of her hand with the few verbal cues before a big speech predictably earned her the scorn of elitists like Mary Kate Cary in U.S. News & World Report:

At a certain age and at a certain professional level, it’s really not cool to write the big stuff down on your hand. Yellow stickies, maybe. BlackBerry, maybe. But if you were sitting in your doctor’s office after an exam, and saw that he’d written on his hand: “Diagnose Illness … Write Prescription,” you’d be more than alarmed. …

Like the Tea Party keynote speech she gave and her book before that, this incident shows that she doesn’t care to take the time to be prepared, to engage in serious policy discussions, or even to rely on issue briefing materials before speaking.

But Palin got the last laugh the next day during an appearance in Texas. She wrote “Hi Mom!” on her palm when she knew the whole Palin-hating media world would be watching:


Filed under: Hatin' On Rednecks and Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Media and News & Politics and People and Photography and Rednecks
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World’s Largest Igloo
Posted on 02.23.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 7:01 pm

It took two Green Bay, Wis., residents nine weeks to build the igloo, which is 17 feet, 4 inches tall and 27 feet, 4 inches in diameter. They broke the previous record in the “Guinness Book Of World Records,” which was 13 feet, 8 inches tall and 25 feet, 9 inches in diameter.


Filed under: Human Interest and News & Politics and Video and Weather
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A Redneck Boy And His Stuffed Tiger
Posted on 02.21.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 1:18 pm

I loved the comic strip “Calvin & Hobbes.” It’s the one strip I rushed to read in the daily newspaper, and I purchased several of the compilations creator Bill Watterson sold in book form.

I still remember the strip that hooked me as a Calvin fan for life. Calvin burped, prompting the typical adult reply from his mother: “Calvin! What do we say after that?” Here’s how the conversation went next:

Calvin: Must be a barge coming through!
Mom: WHAT do you say?!
Calvin: That sure tasted better going down than coming up!
Mom: Three strikes and you’re history, kiddo.
Calvin, sheepishly: Excuse me.

Classic! Calvin was a redneck through and through. So was his stuffed tiger, Hobbes, who came to life in Calvin’s imagination and the strip. But their creator is an enlightened redneck.

Readers may have never thought about Watterson’s personal choices when they read the strip, but that strength of character echoed throughout his work. “Calvin and Hobbes” is complex, thoughtful and thought provoking. Calvin and Hobbes aren’t plastic and one-dimensional. …

[They are] a hyper-imaginative kid and his pet tiger who may or may not be real, depending on who’s looking at him. But that’s just the surface. That doesn’t really begin to explain Watterson’s unique storytelling device in which readers switch between the world as Calvin sees it — a fantastical place — and as adults see it — a cut ‘n’ dried conventional reality. You need to immerse yourself in “Calvin and Hobbes” to truly understand it. Sure, you could read one strip, get the gag and move on with your life, but you’d be missing out.

I sure do miss Watterson’s work, which ran for only a decade. So do millions of other fans.
(more…)


Filed under: Books and Entertainment and Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Media and People and Redneck Humor
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The World’s Strongest Redneck …
Posted on 02.20.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 1:28 pm

… is also an enlightened redneck who showcases his strength in ways designed to grab the attention of children for important messages. Steve McGranahan is the man, and he demonstrated his technique to a reporter for WNCT-TV in North Carolina.

“Well what I do is, basically, I take household objects and I destroy them with a life lesson behind them,” McGranahan said. “We don’t want the kids to quit school in the 10th grade, or let Jack come into their lives and influence them with drugs and alcohol because Jack wants to come into your life — and rip everything you have apart.”

You can learn more about McGranahan’s shtick at his Web site, which includes videos and pictures of him at work.


Filed under: Entertainment and Human Interest and People and Rednecks and Video
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That’s My Snow-Carved Parking Spot!
Posted on 02.14.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 11:17 pm

A young Christian named Drew is staying with us a few months while he does an internship in the Washington area. A Georgia Tech student, he’s had quite the treat (or curse) the past week as the mid-Atlantic region has been slammed with snow.

Last night, Drew spent quite a bit of time shoveling himself a parking spot out of the snow along our street. But when he returned from worship service this morning, someone else had taken it. We tried to explain that it’s a public street and we can’t keep people from parking there, but he couldn’t be consoled.

When we returned home from evening worship a few hours later, the spot was vacant again so I went to the basement, grabbed a can of purple spray paint (the perfect color for a strapping boy who exercises every day) and laid claim to the spot for Drew.

I can’t guarantee folks will pay any attention to the sign, but I gave it the ol’ college try.


Filed under: Human Interest and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and Photography
Comments: None

Barack Obama Is ‘Not Believable’
Posted on 02.12.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 9:10 pm

That’s what Sen. Jay Rockefeller, a Democrat from my home, coal-producing state of West Virginia said about the president’s conflicting statements and actions on clean-coal technology. “He’s beginning to be not believable to me,” Rockefeller said.

As Don Surber of the Charleston Daily Mail helpfully reminded his readers, Rockefeller is the same man who said this of Obama a little more than a year ago: “He’s the president I’ve been waiting for all my life.”

Obama’s double talk and broken promises — not just on clean-coal technology but on about any issue you pick — have done wonders to open the eyes of even his biggest fans.


Filed under: Culture and Government and Human Interest and Media and News & Politics and People and Rednecks and Video and West Virginia
Comments: 1 Comment

Frosty The Tea Partier
Posted on 02.10.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 5:43 pm

The Cincinnati Tea Party decided that all of this year’s snow presented a great opportunity to make a statement in white, with dashes of red and blue:


Filed under: Human Interest and News & Politics and Photography
Comments: None

Michelle Obama’s Fake Food
Posted on 01.14.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 10:34 am

Politicians — and apparently their wives, too — just can’t help themselves. They don’t know how to be genuine. When even their food is fake, you know everything is phony.

So it was with first lady Michelle Obama and her appearance on “Iron Chef of America,” a supposed “reality” series on the Food Network:

The produce used on the Food Network’s Jan. 3 Iron Chef of America two-hour special White House show was billed as being from the White House garden. But the show did not disclose that “stunt double vegetables” were used and not produce from the First Family’s garden.

… Viewers were not explicitly told that the vegetables in “Kitchen Stadium” were not the ones they had seen the chefs harvest. Various participants in the show misled viewers with references to “using radishes from the White House garden” and other similar mentions. Except for the honey, no food on the show came from the White House.

Mrs. Obama’s East Wing told me the vegetables picked at the White House garden that day in October were donated to a local food kitchen, so nothing went to waste. The week between the harvest the cook-off was due to “scheduling/technical” reasons.

OK, to be fair, Michelle Obama isn’t to blame for this episode of phoniness. All vegetable decisions were made by the network to fit its schedule. But the revelation (via Michelle Malkin) doesn’t make the first lady look good.


Filed under: Entertainment and Food and Human Interest and People
Comments: None

Up Close And Personal With The Humpback
Posted on 01.08.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 12:05 pm

You might be an enlightened redneck … if your idea of a good time is paddling a tiny kayak into close range of feeding humpback whales so you can snap pictures of them.

“I have only a split second to decide whether I should either have my camera in my hands or my paddle to take evasive action,” Duncan Murrell said of his creative whaling expeditions.

See the full gallery of 10 photos at The Telegraph.


Filed under: Human Interest and People and Photography and Wildlife
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The Master Of Rubik’s Domain
Posted on 01.01.10 by K. Daniel Glover @ 10:00 am

I never learned to solve one Rubik’s Cube, let alone three of them in a few minutes. But this kid did it under the pressure of trying to win a challenge against a sportscaster.


Filed under: Human Interest and Sports and Video
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The New Decade Starts Tomorrow
Posted on 12.31.09 by K. Daniel Glover @ 12:24 pm

Every 10 years, numerical sticklers get bent out of shape when people start talking about the birth of a new decade a year before it technically begins. Exhibit A:

Ours is a decimal system, based on the numbers 1 through 10, and when you count things – be they apples, fingers, cars or years – you begin with 1.

This is because if you don’t have at least one, you have nothing to count. Calling 2009 the end of the decade is akin to telling a child to count his fingers as follows, 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and telling him: “You have 10 fingers.”

As final emphasis, in our decimal system, any number ending in zero is the final number in a group of 10. A number ending in two zeroes is the final number in a group of a hundred, whilst three zeroes is the last in a group of a thousand, etc.

Why is this hard for otherwise intelligent people to grasp?

My enlightened redneck take on this faux controversy: Saying that 2010 is the start of a new decade is numerically incorrect but aesthetically pleasing. Rather than quibble every 10 years over when a decade technically starts, I have concluded that the first decade had nine years, and every one since has had 10. The same concept applies to centuries and millennia.

I guess that makes me “otherwise intelligent.” But as an enlightened redneck, I’m OK with that.


Filed under: Culture and Human Interest and News & Politics
Comments: None

Bonkers For Krystal Burgers
Posted on 12.24.09 by K. Daniel Glover @ 1:28 pm

I’ve never eaten a Krystal hamburger, but I certainly the kind of appreciate food nostalgia that would drive a person to drive 30 miles round trip for a taste fix.

That’s what Angela Sims-Quinty started doing a few years ago, and continues to do on a regular basis to eat Krystal burgers now that the chain opened a restaurant near her home in Houston.

Her passion earned her a spot in the Krystal Lovers Hall of Fame — and her image and story on Krystal burger boxes everywhere for a month. “You know you’re a redneck when your sister’s picture is on a Krystal’s burger box,” her brother said.


Filed under: Advertising and Business and Food and Human Interest
Comments: None

Livin’ And Learnin’ In A Blizzard
Posted on 12.19.09 by K. Daniel Glover @ 10:01 pm

Note to self for future blizzards: Do not let it snow 20 inches and then start a fire. The snow finds its way down the chimney and onto the flue, the smoke can’t escape, and the water drips into the fireplace and all over the logs that were dried the day before.

And about that Dockers ad campaign telling men to be men and wear the pants in the family: It sounded a whole lot better yesterday, before I realized it means wearing frozen pants to shovel snow in a blizzard. Three hours of shoveling today, and I still didn’t finish!

Apparently I should have shoveled out the fireplace, too.


Filed under: Advertising and Culture and Family and Human Interest and News & Politics
Comments: None

Paying The Restaurant Tab Forward
Posted on 12.15.09 by K. Daniel Glover @ 6:40 pm

Here is a touching holiday story from a Philadelphia-area diner:

The City of Brotherly Love indeed. I suspect the mystery couple that started it all were rednecks because they appreciate simple but meaningful gestures.


Filed under: Food and Holidays and Human Interest and Video
Comments: None

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