Punxsutawney Phil On A Platter
Posted on 02.02.12 by Danny Glover @ 1:52 pm

Yes, the day we all dread every winter — Groundhog Day — is here, and the world’s most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow. According to rural legend, that means we should expect six more weeks of winter.

That might not sound so bad during this winter of balmy weather, especially to skiers. But spring-loving rednecks who want revenge against the prophetic Phil and his Phamily of rodents should go here, where you’ll find a recipe for roasting your neighborhood groundhog, literally.

Why would you want to eat a groundhog? Every redneck knows the answer:
(more…)


Filed under: Culture and Food and Hunting & Guns and Rednecks and West Virginia and Wildlife
Comments: None

How To Make A Slingshot Crossbow
Posted on 01.12.12 by Danny Glover @ 12:43 pm

Remarkable redneck ingenuity is on display in this video, which demonstrates how you can turn your Christmas tree into a deadly slingshot crossbow:


Filed under: Holidays and Human Interest and Hunting & Guns and Rednecks and Sports and Video
Comments: None

MeatEater: Red Meat For Rednecks
Posted on 12.15.11 by Danny Glover @ 5:31 pm

Finally, some enlightened entertainment for rednecks! MeatEater, a new series that premieres Jan. 1 on the Sportsman Channel, will unabashedly celebrate the carnivorous lifestyle combined with the sheer joy of hunting and bagging your own game.

[The hunts will] introduce you to some of the wildest tasting foods that you’ve ever seen. I’m talking about coues deer heart wrapped in the animal’s own abdominal lining and cooked in the field over a stone hearth; cubed black bear meat deep-fried in rendered bear oil; mallard ducks, spatchcocked and spit-roasted over a fire of black spruce; mule deer stew simmered in melted snow; and scalded and scraped javelina cooked through an ingenous method that I learned from Amerindian hunters in the South American jungle.

The bad news: We have Comcast, and a colleague of mine just noted on Facebook that Comcast doesn’t offer the Sportsman Channel. How unenlightened!


Filed under: Entertainment and Hunting & Guns and Rednecks
Comments: None

Kill The Penny!
Posted on 12.01.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:26 pm

I don’t know much about monetary policy, but as a coin collector, I do know this much about “money” policy: America could save a bundle of money by killing off the penny:

The same goes for dollar bills, which is why I’m a fan of the Dollar Coin Alliance. But a government that has overspent by trillions of dollars can’t be expected to care about the mere $5.6 billion it could save over 30 years by eliminating currency that has no relative value any more.


Filed under: Coin Collecting and Government and News & Politics and Video
Comments: None

Redneck Insulation
Posted on 11.25.11 by Danny Glover @ 7:12 pm

You might be a redneck … if you insulate your shed with beer boxes. That’s what we discovered today when visiting my grandfather’s West Virginia farm, which has been abandoned for about two years since my uncle’s death.

For the record, a previous tenant from long ago added the insulation. We visited the same shed years ago while that tenant lived there, and the shed also was full of deer hides and beer cans. I was glad when my uncle returned home and we finally quit renting the property to that bum.

What I don’t know is if the tenant also is responsible for the bullet holes that riddle the door and walls of the same shed. I didn’t notice those bullet holes until today, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the guy who rented the place entertained himself by sitting on the front porch and shooting the shed across Indian Creek Road from the house.


Filed under: Family and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Rednecks and West Virginia
Comments: None

Rep. Paul Ryan, Deer Slayer
Posted on 11.23.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:35 pm

During the legislative season, Paul Ryan is a budget geek in Congress. But when hunting season comes, he’s a whitetail wonk and a sharpshooter in the wilds of Wisconsin.

The proof is in this picture that Ryan, R-Wis., posted to his Facebook page today:

“I butcher my own deer, grind the meat, stuff it in casings and then smoke it,” Ryan told Politico. “Not much to it.”

That, my friends, is an enlightened redneck.


Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Government and Hunting & Guns and People and Photography and Rednecks and Wildlife
Comments: None

Baby’s First Buck
Posted on 12.06.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:48 am

I love redneck baby pictures, especially when they involve trophy bucks. I’m jealous of this camouflaged deer slayer in the making:


Filed under: Hunting & Guns and Photography and Redneck Humor and Rednecks and Wildlife
Comments: None

The Ax Man Cometh
Posted on 11.01.10 by Danny Glover @ 3:25 pm

Sean Duffy wants a seat in Congress, and he likes to throw axes. He’s good at it, too. If I lived in his Wisconsin district, I’d be tempted to give him my vote for that reason alone.

Duffy ran another ax-themed ad earlier this fall:

He’s the latest candidate to appeal to the bitter, gun- and ax-clinging electorate in a year when, no matter what President Obama and tea-party-bashing Democrats say, it’s cool to be redneck.


Filed under: Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and Rednecks and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

How To Carve A Jack-O-Lantern
Posted on 10.30.10 by Danny Glover @ 7:01 pm

Art is in the eye of the beholder, and in the eye of a redneck who has a pumpkin in his pistol sights, the making of the art is a wonder to behold:

The truly amazing part of this video is the shooter’s steady hand and pinpoint accuracy in shot after shot. I wish had that kind of marksmanship.


Filed under: Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Rednecks and Video
Comments: None

How To Win (And Lose) The Redneck Vote
Posted on 10.11.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:52 pm

The race to replace West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd has taken center stage on the national political scene over the past week thanks to a series of campaign advertisements, both good and bad.

The flurry of activity started with an ad released by the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Called “Stop Obama,” the ad featured flannel-clad actors in worn baseball caps saying West Virginians should keep Democratic candidate Joe Manchin, the current governor, in West Virginia so he doesn’t become “Washington Joe” and rubber stamp President Obama’s agenda.

The ad’s messaging and casting were brilliant, but the “casting call,” written by a consulting firm to the NRSC, was tone deaf. One five-letter word in the casting call that isn’t even a word — “hicky” — completely undermined the ad and forced the NRSC to pull it.

The ad gave Manchin ammunition to blast Republican rival John Raese and his national GOP allies for embracing the stereotype of West Virginians as hicks. Coming soon after news broke that Raese’s family lives in a Florida mansion whose driveway is paved in marble, the ad amplified the Democratic narrative that Raese doesn’t understand or appreciate the hard-working folk in the blue-collar Mountain State.

Manchin answered with his own ad over the weekend. “John Raese thinks we’re hicks,” the opening says as the NRSC ad plays in the background. “… It’s insulting — and he didn’t even apologize.”

Had Manchin stopped at that line of attack, he might have scored a few points with fence-sitting voters in the race. But the ad closed with a juvenile potshot at Raese’s wife: “Raese’s wife is registered in Florida, so she can’t event vote for him.”
(more…)


Filed under: Hatin' On Rednecks and Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and People and Rednecks and Video and West Virginia
Comments: None

Paul Farhi’s Penny Hatred
Posted on 08.17.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:26 pm

Journalists feign objectivity for the public, but get them in a free-wheeling chat and they’ll spout opinions about anything — even the merits of coins.

Hence this Q&A today with Paul Farhi of The Washington Post:

READER: I was fairly shocked to see that they have redesigned the back of the penny. Does this seem like a waste of time to you?

PAUL FARHI: Yes. We should ban the penny and round everything up or down. Maybe take the nickel with you while we’re at it. Waste of resources, seems to me.

I happen to agree with Farhi about the penny, an annoying coin of no value in a country where inflation long ago made the penny worthless. I also happen to be an objective journalist in one format who still spouts opinions every day.

But Farhi’s condemnation of the penny — and of the dollar coin — came in the context of an online chat where he cautioned other journalists to choose their words wisely so they wouldn’t be suspended for revealing personal bias. How ironic.

I guess it’s safe to assume that Farhi won’t be covering any future debates about the merits of the penny.


Filed under: Coin Collecting and Media
Comments: 1 Comment

The Whole World Is Squirrelly
Posted on 07.07.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:53 pm

I was raised in a part of America where squirrels knew their place — in the woods. We West Virginians didn’t see those rats with furry tails unless we went looking for them, and they didn’t want to be seen by us, especially come fall when we were toting shotguns.

When I hit the hills every October, I had one goal in mind: Fill my game pouch with the daily limit of six squirrels. The only thing I hated more than squirrels were chipmunks. Their incessant chirping and scampering spooked the squirrels.

Absence from the oaks and hickories didn’t make my heart grow fonder of squirrels. I grew to detest them even more when my career path forced me to go urban. Squirrels own the big city and its suburbs, and they aren’t lovable like Rocky of “Rocky and Bullwinkle” fame.

Squirrels destroyed the corn we planted in our garden one year — even after we bought squirrel feeders just for them. They dug up all of my wife’s daffodil bulbs and replanted them in the neighbor’s yard. They ate through the top and bottom of our plastic garbage cans and to this day still string trash all over our driveway and lawn.

I was thrilled when our two dogs, Shelby and Peanut, successfully plotted to kill the squirrels that dared come into the yard at our old house. Shelby would go to one side of the yard and Peanut to the other. Shelby chased the squirrels to Peanut, who was part rat terrier, and she dispatched them more consistently than any shotgun I ever fired.

A few years ago at Thanksgiving, my wife put the pies on our screened back porch to keep them cool. It wasn’t long before one of the local squirrels got a whiff. My son and I shot him with water pistols all morning and finally thought we had scared him off. But a few hours later, just before the feast, we heard my mother-in-law yell, “Ahhh, there’s a squirrel on the pie!”

I wanted to cut out the part with squirrel footprints and eat the rest of my favorite chocolate pie, but my wife reminded me that squirrels are disgusting, disease-ridden squirrels. My favorite Thanksgiving dessert was ruined, and it now has a new name for the family cookbook — Squirrel Pie.

All of those bad squirrel memories rushed to mind today when I read this New York Times piece celebrating the wonders of the squirrel:

Researchers who study gray squirrels argue that their subject is far more compelling than most people realize, and that behind the squirrel’s success lies a phenomenal elasticity of body, brain and behavior. Squirrels can leap a span 10 times the length of their body, roughly double what the best human long jumper can manage. They can rotate their ankles 180 degrees, and so keep a grip while climbing no matter which way they’re facing. Squirrels can learn by watching others — cross-phyletically, if need be.

The article is full of fascinating information about the squirrel that I never knew. But as I read it, I just kept thinking of how tasty they are — yes, they taste like chicken — and how much I’d love to kill six a day for the rest of my life.

Squirrels have their moments. The little guy in the photo above is the resident mooch at the L’Enfant Plaza train station. He introduced himself my first week of commuting by Virginia Railway Express, letting me hover my iPhone a couple of feet above his head to snap the photo. Even I couldn’t resist that photogenic rodent face.

But at the end of the day, he and all his kin are still rodents and they deserve to die, just like the sewer rats who roam the city streets at night.


Filed under: Food and Hunting & Guns and West Virginia and Wildlife
Comments: None

How ‘Bout I Put This ‘Gun Up Your Butt’?
Posted on 05.22.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:51 am

When a public official resorts to crudely threatening an inquisitive reporter with a rifle to make a point about gun control, he’s already lost the debate. So it was with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley.

At a press conference to defend his city’s handgun ban, Daley said this to a reporter who dared ask how effective the ban has been: “It’s been very effective. If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is. Let me put a round up your, you know.”

(Hat tip to Don Surber)

Daley later apologized for the comment — sort of. “Sure, I’ll be sorry. I’m not going to sing the [1960 Brenda Lee] song ‘I’m Sorry’ now, but sure, you can write it. But I hope I shocked you that you can write about now the gun manufacturers.”

But his apology was about as effective as … the city’s handgun ban.

I hereby proclaim Daley the first winner of the “Real Leaders of Genius” award here at The Enlightened Redneck. He’s earned it.


Filed under: Government and Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and Real Leaders of Genius and Video
Comments: None

The Gold And Silver Racket
Posted on 04.09.10 by Danny Glover @ 4:22 pm

Gold and silver have been hot commodities for months. You can’t watch cable television for more than an hour without seeing at least one commercial inviting you to BUY GOLD NOW, and other companies are setting up shop in hotels around the country to buy people’s precious metals.

Beware both the sellers and the buyers.

The companies pushing gold and silver as sound investments know the metals market is in a bubble, just like real estate was a few years ago and dot-com stocks before that. Wait for the gold and silver bubble to burst, and then start buying, which is what those companies did years ago.

As for the firms that buy gold and silver in bulk, avoid them altogether. You will not get anywhere close to the true value for your coins, jewelry or bullion.

One newspaper in Texas has done its community a great service by attending the gold- and silver-buying bonanzas where out-of-town companies try to part residents from their valuables. The newspaper sends a reporter to the events with a collection of gold and silver whose fair-market value already has been determined. Then it compares that price with the offers from buyers.

The gap between the two numbers is huge, as is evident in this report:

Another out-of-state gold buying company has set-up shop in a local hotel in hopes of separating local citizens from their valuable gold, silver and collectible items.

This week, GoldRush took out a full-page advertisement in the Beaumont Enterprise announcing “Top Dollar Paid” on items brought to its sale at the Hilton Garden Inn. But just like three previous companies that have come through town promising big payouts but offering pennies on the dollar, GoldRush was right on cue.

On Tuesday, The Examiner brought in its entire supply of coins, scrap gold and bullion - valued at more than $43,000 — and was offered $11,600, or about 25 cents on the dollar.

The company representative went ballistic when the reporter confronted him about the discrepancy. “It is business. It is as simple as that,” he said. “When you go to buy a used car, is it worth what they are charging you. Your newspaper is not worth a dime, I can tell you that right now. You are as low as low gets.” Methinks he did protest too much.

I have a small stash of worn and common silver coins that I may sell once it’s worth enough to buy a digital camera, but if I do, I won’t be dealing with a shyster in a hotel. I’ll find a reputable, local coin or bullion dealer. Everyone should do the same.


Filed under: Business and Coin Collecting
Comments: None

Rednecks For Mandatory Gun Ownership
Posted on 04.03.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:45 am

This is a hypothetical scenario in the form of a law exam question, but as Instapundit Glenn Reynolds says, it’s “a fun hypothetical” that actually has constitutional weight behind it:

Assume that the United States can lawfully force the people of the States to buy health insurance using Congress’ commerce power.

After a string of cartel-related violent incidents in northern Mexico, a National Militia Act is lawfully enacted by Congress and signed into law by POTUS, compelling every law-abiding American citizen age 18 and older to buy two firearms — a revolver and a rifle — and to acquire firearms training to better provide for domestic security.

A similar law has existed in Switzerland for many years; and although a plurality of Americans support it, opposition to it has been strident, if not strong. Gun-control advocates — most of them progressives — have painted the act as a giveaway to gun manufacturers and a threat to peace and order in their communities.

What arguments would you make if you were the attorney general for your state and your governor commanded you to file a lawsuit to attempt to invalidate the mandate on constitutional grounds? Do not refer to the Commerce Clause in your answer.

It’s also proof that there is at least one enlightened redneck who went to law school. If word of this idea spreads, rednecks across the land may start lobbying for it.

UPDATE: I tweaked the text slightly to reflect the correction in the comment below from the brains behind the idea of mandatory gun ownership.


Filed under: Government and Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and Rednecks
Comments: 2 Comments

previous posts »
The Redneck Report


Featured Entries

Recent Entries

Categories

Syndication
RSS 2.0
Comments RSS 2.0
WordPress

Social Networks

Search
Archives
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
December 2007
November 2007

Blogroll

Blogs I Read

Enlightened Reads

My Other Blogs

Redneck Reads

Video Stops


Copyright © 2012 Danny Glover. All rights reserved.
Site by Three Group