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Posted on 04.21.13 by Danny Glover @ 11:26 pm
This is how you make a masterpiece, redneck style: My wife watched the video with me and wants to buy me one of the paintings, especially once she realized the artist, Heather LaCroix, is from Louisiana. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Culture and Family and Features and Human Interest and Media and Parenting and People and Rednecks and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:27 pm
I decided long ago never to buy a home on property controlled by an association of nib-noses who love to impose elitist rules on others. As an enlightened being, I don’t decorate our property with tire planters or cars jacked up on blocks, but the redneck in me cherishes the freedom to do so. That’s why I like to see people who do choose to live within developments managed by homeowners associations stick it to the HOA man when he goes on a ridiculous and unjustifiable power trip. Overbearing rules usually have loopholes that are ripe for exploitation. A Facebook friend found just such a loophole during the holidays when her HOA decided to play Grinch. Her understated Christmas decorations — two red bows on the porch pillars and lanterns in the lawn — apparently violated the letter of the association’s lame laws about “seasonal decorations.” The HOA ordered her to remove them. She didn’t face any fines for the alleged breach, so she decided to keep the decorations in place. But the warning letter from the HOA irritated her and her husband so much that they decided to protest by also decorating their car in Christmas lights. “There is NOTHING in the rules prohibiting decorating your car with Christmas lights,” she said. Take that, HOA! Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Business and Culture and Family and Features and Holidays and Parenting and Photoshop Stop Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.23.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:35 pm
During the legislative season, Paul Ryan is a budget geek in Congress. But when hunting season comes, he’s a whitetail wonk and a sharpshooter in the wilds of Wisconsin. The proof is in this picture that Ryan, R-Wis., posted to his Facebook page today: “I butcher my own deer, grind the meat, stuff it in casings and then smoke it,” Ryan told Politico. “Not much to it.” That, my friends, is an enlightened redneck. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Government and Hunting & Guns and People and Photography and Rednecks and Wildlife Comments: 4 Comments |
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Posted on 02.10.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:11 pm
Thinking outside the media box is dangerous. Media companies need to be forward-thinking and both willing and able to adapt quickly if they hope to survive and thrive in a changing marketplace. But thinking unconventionally may lead to behaving unscrupulously. The proof is in this new and utterly unethical media business model:
One man behind the operation, Barry Minkow, went to jail for orchestrating a Ponzi scheme, so his willingness to cross the boundaries of ethical behavior is no surprise. But Los Angeles Times reporter William Lobdell, who should know better than to engage in such conflicts of interest, is running iBusiness Reporting. His involvement tarnishes the reputation of journalism. IBR’s business model is a perverted form of insider trading. IBR is buying stocks in companies with the intent of making money by driving down share values. Hopefully, this scheme will be short-lived. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:45 pm
An article titled “The Good Wife’s Guide,” purportedly from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly, has made its way into e-mail lore more than 50 years after it was written. The piece offers tips to wives’ on how to satisfy their husbands, such as “have dinner ready,” “greet him with a warm smile” and “make the evening his.”
The latest response, which assumes the list is real, offers a counterpoint “Good Husband’s Guide” that theoretically could have been written during the same era. The tips include:
The moral to the story: “The first list is outdated and laughable in its attitudes toward women; the second list, however, could be printed today since every single sentiment expressed in it is practiced, believed and upheld by modern wives and by the culture at large.” Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.05.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:40 pm
So says Barbara Henderson at the religious Web site Prophezine. Here’s a partial list of what it means to be a redneck from her article:
I have a running list of my own thoughts in the entry “What Is An Enlightened Redneck?” The category “Hatin’ On Rednecks” is another place to go for my reactions to redneck hate in America. It includes a recent rebuttal to an essay by Dallas Morning News writer Rod Dreher. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Hatin' On Rednecks and Rednecks Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 10.31.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:39 pm
My father e-mailed me a bunch of pictures under the headline above. I searched the title on Google and found this slide show on CNN. Dad’s e-mail had more pictures, but the ability to embed the slide show makes this presentation more user-friendly for a blog. The message: Enlightened rednecks appreciate good art. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Business and Culture and Just For Laughs and Photography and Redneck Humor Comments: 4 Comments |
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Posted on 10.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:08 pm
A friend posted this ad to Facebook, and it put me in the mood for Nutella. My wife restocked at Costco today, so I had Nutella for supper: I had never heard of Nutella until friends from church who had spent a few years in Italy introduced it to me after Sunday lunch. It was dessert. I’ve been hooked ever since. But like all enlightened rednecks, I eat my Nutella with peanut butter. It’s the perfect blend of America and Europe — like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup on bread. Europeans like the stuffy dude in the ad don’t know what they’re missing. Filed under: Advertising and An Enlightened Redneck ... and Food and Media and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 10.10.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:47 pm
Don Surber of the Charleston Daily Mail peers into the future and imagines how the historians of tomorrow will recount today’s misguided obsession with global warming that isn’t even real:
‘Round these parts, we call those folks enlightened rednecks. We just laugh at people who spend millions of dollars to drown animated puppies in a quest to convince us to believe a lie. Filed under: Advertising and An Enlightened Redneck ... and History and News & Politics and Pets and Rednecks Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 08.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:56 pm
Country singer Billy Carrington has a hit song whose lyrics include the phrase “God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.” I’d like to amend that statement with a dose of enlightenment: God is great, beer is crud, and rednecks would be a lot less crazy if they quit drinking booze. In case it isn’t obvious by now, this enlightened redneck is a teetotaler. I know it’s hard to believe. If there’s one thing people associate with rednecks, it’s liquor — from the hard stuff (Jack Daniels) to the soft stuff (pick a beer) to the illegal, homemade stuff (moonshine). But it’s all bad news, if you ask me. On second thought, don’t ask me. Just listen to the lyrics of Brad Paisley’s hit song “Alcohol,” which perfectly captures the idiocy that ensues after alcohol consumption. Here are some of Paisley’s pearls of wisdom:
I loved the song when it was released on the radio. Then I saw the video and realized that despite the honesty of the lyrics, Paisley intended the song as a celebration of alcohol-induced foolishness. That’s too bad because rednecks really know how to have a good time without help from Jim Beam and the rest of the Inebriation Clan. But enlightened rednecks like me — I’ve lived 42 years on this planet without once drinking for business or pleasure — don’t get to share in those good times because they aren’t family-friendly venues. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Culture and Music and People and Redneck Music and Rednecks and West Virginia Comments: 3 Comments |
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Posted on 07.01.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:52 pm
An enlightened redneck does not pay someone to inject saline into his head in the shape of a bagel, but apparently they call that “beauty” in Japan these days. Before you decide to have breakfast in head, remember what that Belgian teenager said after she had 56 stars tattooed on her face: “I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look ugly, a freak, mutilated.” Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Human Interest and Just For Laughs Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 06.17.09 by Danny Glover @ 9:26 am
You’ve heard the phrase “scarred for life.” That’s what I think of tattoos. Enlightened rednecks, not old squares, want nothing to do with them. We know that one day, perhaps sooner than expected, a tattooed body would make us say something like this: “I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look ugly, a freak, mutilated.” Too bad that teenage girl didn’t think about that before she decided to let the “freak” in the video scar her body for life. I’m with Don Surber — the tattoo artist’s side of the story is way more believable. There’s no way someone sleeps while getting 56 stars burned into the skin of her face. Plus a mere three stars would have made her look freaky. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Human Interest and Parenting and Video Comments: 4 Comments |
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Posted on 06.04.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:32 am
It looks nothing like a skunk on the run because of the graininess, poor lighting and reasonable distance from the animal, but here it is: Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 04.20.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:47 pm
No guy, redneck or otherwise, wants a “shotgun wedding.” But every real man would love to have a shotgun romance with an enlightened redneck woman like this:
I’ll bet she even wears jeans. (Hat tip to Instapundit) Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Human Interest and Hunting & Guns and Photography and Rednecks Comments: 3 Comments |
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Posted on 04.05.09 by Danny Glover @ 9:09 pm
An enlightened redneck counts among his heroes mayors like Herbert Gears of Irving, Texas, who takes the rule of law seriously enough to impose a crackdown on illegal immigrants. Here’s the story from The New York Times, including a “redneck” quote from Gears:
I sense a bit of sarcasm in Gears’ use of the term redneck; I don’t think he meant it as flattery. But I see his subtle jab at rednecks as a compliment. Our family is majority-minority. My wife and I adopted our three children from Guatemala, and when we did, the Latino world in general and Guatemala in particular became a part of us. When we see Hispanics roaming the streets of America, we see our children. We don’t fear them; we dream of who they can become by being blessed to live in this great country. That’s the way enlightened rednecks think about legal immigration. Illegal immigration is another matter entirely. No one should be allowed to enter and stay in this country if they break the law to get here. Our laws need to be strengthened to prevent that from happening. People who come here illegally should be deported if discovered. And mayors like Herbert Gears should be lauded for enforcing the law, even if they distort the meaning of “redneck.” Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Family and Government and Hatin' On Rednecks and News & Politics and People Comments: 4 Comments |
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