Sticking It To The HOA Man
Posted on 12.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:27 pm

I decided long ago never to buy a home on property controlled by an association of nib-noses who love to impose elitist rules on others. As an enlightened being, I don’t decorate our property with tire planters or cars jacked up on blocks, but the redneck in me cherishes the freedom to do so.

That’s why I like to see people who do choose to live within developments managed by homeowners associations stick it to the HOA man when he goes on a ridiculous and unjustifiable power trip. Overbearing rules usually have loopholes that are ripe for exploitation.

A Facebook friend found just such a loophole during the holidays when her HOA decided to play Grinch. Her understated Christmas decorations — two red bows on the porch pillars and lanterns in the lawn — apparently violated the letter of the association’s lame laws about “seasonal decorations.” The HOA ordered her to remove them.

She didn’t face any fines for the alleged breach, so she decided to keep the decorations in place. But the warning letter from the HOA irritated her and her husband so much that they decided to protest by also decorating their car in Christmas lights. “There is NOTHING in the rules prohibiting decorating your car with Christmas lights,” she said.

Take that, HOA!


Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Business and Culture and Family and Features and Holidays and Parenting and Photoshop Stop
Comments: None

Daisy The Fire Dog
Posted on 12.17.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:21 pm

Our scaredy dog Daisy discovered fire tonight when we started the first one of the winter in our fireplace. Clearly we won’t be able to leave her alone in the living room with a fire burning. She may catch herself, and then our whole house, on fire.

Smart dogs respect fire and keep their distance. Daisy, not so much.


Filed under: Family and Human Interest and Pets and The Redneck Report and Video
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Rep. Paul Ryan, Deer Slayer
Posted on 11.23.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:35 pm

During the legislative season, Paul Ryan is a budget geek in Congress. But when hunting season comes, he’s a whitetail wonk and a sharpshooter in the wilds of Wisconsin.

The proof is in this picture that Ryan, R-Wis., posted to his Facebook page today:

“I butcher my own deer, grind the meat, stuff it in casings and then smoke it,” Ryan told Politico. “Not much to it.”

That, my friends, is an enlightened redneck.


Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Government and Hunting & Guns and People and Photography and Rednecks and Wildlife
Comments: None

How ‘Bout I Put This ‘Gun Up Your Butt’?
Posted on 05.22.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:51 am

When a public official resorts to crudely threatening an inquisitive reporter with a rifle to make a point about gun control, he’s already lost the debate. So it was with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley.

At a press conference to defend his city’s handgun ban, Daley said this to a reporter who dared ask how effective the ban has been: “It’s been very effective. If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is. Let me put a round up your, you know.”

(Hat tip to Don Surber)

Daley later apologized for the comment — sort of. “Sure, I’ll be sorry. I’m not going to sing the [1960 Brenda Lee] song ‘I’m Sorry’ now, but sure, you can write it. But I hope I shocked you that you can write about now the gun manufacturers.”

But his apology was about as effective as … the city’s handgun ban.

I hereby proclaim Daley the first winner of the “Real Leaders of Genius” award here at The Enlightened Redneck. He’s earned it.


Filed under: Government and Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and Real Leaders of Genius and Video
Comments: None

Census Of The Confederacy
Posted on 03.27.10 by Danny Glover @ 2:19 pm

It’s time for another induction into the “Redneck Hall of Shame.” This time the dishonor goes to the outside-the-box thinkers at the Southern Legal Resource Center, who, with a straight face, are telling Southerners to claim their heritage as “Confederate Southern Americans” on their census forms. Why? So they can qualify for protection under civil rights law:

“We can start the process to give the southern community here in America a voice again, so that our concerns will be heard, and so that we will stop being harassed and persecuted because we are proud of our southern and Confederate ancestry.”

It’s true that many Southerners are unfairly ridiculed, usually with the all-encompassing insult “redneck” that inspired this blog. But to argue that such attacks qualify as harassment and persecution that qualifies for federal protection is bizarre — especially coming from a group that can’t let go of the Confederate flag. Characters like that need a heavy dose of enlightenment.


Filed under: Culture and Government and History and Redneck Hall Of Shame
Comments: 1 Comment

The Redneck Winter Olympics
Posted on 02.26.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:04 pm

It’s time for another addition to the “Redneck Hall of Shame.” This time, it’s the entire Canadian women’s hockey team for the total lack of class and sportsmanship they showed after defeating the United States 2-0 yesterday to win gold.

The women of the Canadian hockey team politely accepted their gold medals and waved to an adoring crowd. And then the real celebration began.

More than half an hour after they beat the United States 2-0 on Thursday, the players came back from the locker room and staged a party on ice - swigging from bottles of champagne, guzzling beer and smoking cigars. …

Meghan Agosta and Marie-Philip Poulin posed wearing goofy grins. Rebecca Johnston actually tried to drive the ice-resurfacing machine. Haley Irwin poured champagne into the mouth of Tessa Bonhomme, gold medals swinging from both their necks.

The celebration raised eyebrows at the IOC, which said it would look into the matter. Informed of the antics by the Associated Press, Gilbert Felli, the IOC’s executive director of the Olympic Games, said it was “not what we want to see.”

Other entrants into the “Redneck Hall of Shame” courtesy of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia: U.S. half-pipe bronze medalist Scotty Lago, who left town after racy celebration photos surfaced; and Canadian Jon Montgomery, who after winning gold in the skeleton race “marched triumphantly through the town, guzzling beer straight from the pitcher.”


Filed under: News & Politics and People and Redneck Hall Of Shame and Sports
Comments: 1 Comment

The Confederate Flag: A Symbol Of Idiocy
Posted on 02.20.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:26 pm

I wish Southerners would abandon their obsession with the Confederate flag as the best symbol of their heritage because too many racists have made it a symbol of idiocy, and their bad behavior is giving rednecks a bad name.

The latest example is the anonymous loser in South Carolina who planted the flag in the yard of James Case and his wife, an interracial couple. The loser is the newest dishonoree in the “Redneck Hall of Shame.”

Brian Hicks, a columnist at The Post and Courier, rightly took him to task in print:

With a thing like this, people quickly make up their minds. If it walks like a redneck and talks like a redneck, it must be a redneck — what other motive could there be?

So whoever you geniuses are, thanks for perpetuating ugly stereotypes about South Carolina. Just when we thought we were out, they pull us back in. …

“I’m sure the flag is not racist to a lot of people,” Case said. “But when it’s used like that, I don’t think there is any other interpretation.”

That’s exactly right. Not everyone who is interested in, or commemorates, our state’s history is a racist. But anyone who would do this most assuredly is. There is a big difference, and it’s something more people need to realize.

True rednecks need to realize it more than anyone and loudly condemn everyone who uses the Confederate flag to make a racist statement. And think twice about using the flag at all. Like it or not, the flag has been forever tarnished because of the racists who embraced it as a symbol of segregation.


Filed under: Culture and Hatin' On Rednecks and News & Politics and Redneck Hall Of Shame
Comments: 3 Comments

Insider Trading In Journalism
Posted on 02.10.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:11 pm

Thinking outside the media box is dangerous. Media companies need to be forward-thinking and both willing and able to adapt quickly if they hope to survive and thrive in a changing marketplace. But thinking unconventionally may lead to behaving unscrupulously.

The proof is in this new and utterly unethical media business model:

IBusiness Reporting plans to report on companies that may be engaging in fraudulent practices (kinda like the ones Minkow engaged in way back when) and fund its reporting through shortselling the stocks of those companies. If the stock price drops after the outlet reports negative information about the company, IBR makes money.

Let’s say that again. There are no ads on the site. No endowments. Nothing of the sort. When one of IBR’s staff, who has taken the position that such-and-such stock will go down, reports information that makes the stock go down, IBR makes money.

One man behind the operation, Barry Minkow, went to jail for orchestrating a Ponzi scheme, so his willingness to cross the boundaries of ethical behavior is no surprise. But Los Angeles Times reporter William Lobdell, who should know better than to engage in such conflicts of interest, is running iBusiness Reporting. His involvement tarnishes the reputation of journalism.

IBR’s business model is a perverted form of insider trading. IBR is buying stocks in companies with the intent of making money by driving down share values. Hopefully, this scheme will be short-lived.


Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ...
Comments: None

Janet Napolitano Beclowns Herself
Posted on 12.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:04 pm

A terrorist nearly exploded an airplane loaded with 300 passengers in mid-flight by igniting a bomb built into his underwear, and the response from America’s head clown of homeland security, Janet Napolitano, is this: “The system worked.”

Dear Mr. President, please heed the advice of Jonah Goldberg: Fire Napolitano!

And dear CNN, please send Candy Crowley back to journalism school for a refresher course on the essential follow-up question. It is inexcusable that she let a top government official contend that the “system worked” without then asking whether the U.S. homeland security system is based upon “having a passenger quick, brave and smart enough to fly over other passengers to get the guy.”

UPDATE, 12/28: Napolitano today recanted her “system worked” analysis, embracing the tried-and-false explanation that her quote was taken out of context. “Our system did not work in this instance,” she said. “No one is happy or satisfied with that.”


Filed under: Government and Media and News & Politics and People and Photoshop Stop
Comments: 3 Comments

Obama’s Jokers
Posted on 12.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:01 pm

Posters with members of Congress decorated as the Joker from Batman fame have been surfacing around the country and online since the Senate struck a corrupt deal to overhaul the U.S. health-care system. They are being called “Obama’s jokers.”

All of their political careers should end as a result of their votes.


Filed under: Government and Health and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and Photoshop Stop
Comments: None

Climate Alarmists: We’re Melting!
Posted on 12.14.09 by Danny Glover @ 2:33 pm

As I noted early this year, the information age has transformed photography and graphics in amazing ways. There are abundantly creative ways to capture the fascination of readers and viewers.

I see images almost daily that wow me with their ability to tell a story in a snapshot. I’m especially fond of graphical satire — and I love it when people find ways to use an image created for one purpose to illustrate a story that makes a competing point.

If pictures have that impact on me, I figure all of you other enlightened rednecks might appreciate them as well. That’s why I started the feature Photoshop Stop, but it has been a while since I’ve posted any content there. The drought ends today, with the image at your right.


Filed under: News & Politics and Photoshop Stop and Technology
Comments: None

Mike Huckabee: Unfit To Be President
Posted on 12.05.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:00 pm

Outrage and insights in a 140 characters or less (most of the time). This is a weekly recap of topics that capture my fancy. To get your fill of my rants on a daily basis, follow The Enlightened Redneck on Twitter.

Much to the chagrin of many fellow conservatives, I supported Mike Huckabee for president in the 2008 Republican presidential primary.

The news this week that he granted clemency to a man who years killed four police officers in Washington state, and Huckabee’s comments after the news broke, made me change my tune. I still like Huckabee, but I don’t believe he has the judgment to be president.

Here is what I had to say about the matter over a series of tweets: “Mike Huckabee freed a man now suspected of killing four cops. He no longer looks as presidential to me. … Huckabee dodges responsibility, blames “Arkansas” (and Washington) for freeing a man suspected of kiing four cops. What a cowardly statement from Huckabee. I expected better of him. He made a huge mistake and should own up to it. … ”

And here are some redneck rants on other topics:

  • Leave it to the perverts in Hollywood to pervert a classic children’s Christmas cartoon, “Frosty, The Snowman.”
  • Crashing a White House state dinner, and then bragging about it on Facebook, is really, really dumb.” Jail time?
  • Fact of the day, just heard on the news: Tiger Woods makes more in 60 seconds than he had to pay as a fine for his car accident.
  • Joy Behar thought Black Friday was racist until her black co-host, Whoopi Goldberg, enlightened her — for real. That reminds me of the “pot calling the kettle black” episode with Omarosa Manigault Stallworth on “The Apprentice.”
  • The U.N.’s alarmist-in-chief flew at least 443,243 miles in 19 months to decry global warming. Can you say “hypocrisy”?
  • At least 22.6 million reasons why ClimateGate matters to taxpayers (via @donsurber). I suspect there are many more.
  • Wanna run for Congress? Join the roster of candidates in non-existent districts. Only dead people vote there!
  • Deer own this country. America needs more hunters.
  • Twitter is the top word of 2009, beating Obama. Stimulus is No. 4. Obama-mania is No. 2 phrase; Obama is top name.
  • Today, ignorant people are afraid of Twitter; in the Civl War Era, they were afraid of telegrams.
  • Today’s media market in brief: Detroit got a new newspaper last week; it suspended publication this week.
  • I’m wondering whether the FTC news workshop is going to be a forum for media dinosaurs to bash bloggers for two days. Paul Steiger of ProPublica, the first speaker, took multiple jabs at bloggers in his opening statement. … The current panel is a portrait of what’s wrong with journalism — media dinosaurs who resisted new media until it was too late.

    Filed under: Entertainment and Government and Human Interest and Hunting & Guns and Media and News & Politics and People and Redneck Rants and Sports and Technology and Wildlife
    Comments: None

    Guide To Good Wives (And Husbands)
    Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:45 pm

    An article titled “The Good Wife’s Guide,” purportedly from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly, has made its way into e-mail lore more than 50 years after it was written.

    The piece offers tips to wives’ on how to satisfy their husbands, such as “have dinner ready,” “greet him with a warm smile” and “make the evening his.”

    The graphic accompanying the list has been exposed as a fake, and the list itself is suspect, but it continues to inspire commentary. It even inspired a video spoof back in 2006.

    The latest response, which assumes the list is real, offers a counterpoint “Good Husband’s Guide” that theoretically could have been written during the same era. The tips include:

    • Always make getting and keeping a full-time job with regular raises, benefits, bonuses and the potential for prestigious advancement your number one priority in life.
    • Be prepared to help with household chores when you get home. Let your wife relax or talk on the phone.
    • Do not bore your wife with stories of the troubles you faced at work today. Remember that you are lucky to have a job.
    • Listen avidly to your wife’s complaints. She leads a hectic life and needs to feel listened to and appreciated.
    • Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time.

    The moral to the story: “The first list is outdated and laughable in its attitudes toward women; the second list, however, could be printed today since every single sentiment expressed in it is practiced, believed and upheld by modern wives and by the culture at large.”


    Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ...
    Comments: None

    The Politics Of Peer Review Exposed
    Posted on 11.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:54 pm

    Several months ago on Facebook, a high-school classmate engaged me in debate on the subject of global warming after I posted an article on the subject. He believes man is causing the globe to warm and supports draconian government regulation to address the problem; I think the science is bunk, and thus regulation based on that science is misguided.

    As we debated the subject, it became clear that my “friend,” who makes a living in the scientific community, puts all of his faith in the peer-review process, whereby scientific researchers study each others’ data to make sure it is sound before publication in austere journals. Nothing this enlightened redneck said mattered because I’m not a scientist, and he had peer review on his side.

    My former classmate sounded very much like actor Ed Begley Jr. this week on Fox News. The environmental activist, who has been known to fake his emotions, was mild-mannered while backstage but went ballistic when Stuart Varney interviewed him on air:

    The fairness of peer review was suspect even when my classmate and I clashed online because the work of nearly all scientists critical of the theory of global warming had been banished from major journals for years. Regardless of their credentials, such researchers were ridiculed as “deniers” and “skeptics” whose work did not deserve to see the light of day.

    “When you enter into a debate with any of them, they always stop cold when you ask an awkward question,” Vincent Gray, an expert reviewer for the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, wrote at Pajamas Media. “This applies even when you write to a government department or a member of Parliament. I and many of my friends have grown accustomed to our failure to publish and to lecture, and to the rejection of our comments submitted prior to every IPCC report.”

    All of Gray’s 1,898 comments critical of the 2007 IPCC report were ignored. (Hat tip to Instapundit)

    As of last week, peer review as it relates to global warming has been completely debunked thanks to the revelations in more than a decade’s worth of e-mails among the scientists who control the process. Even some scientists and environmental activists, the few who still have a shred of integrity left within them, appreciate the damage the e-mails have done to the reputation of peer review.
    (more…)


    Filed under: Entertainment and News & Politics and People and The Redneck Report and Video
    Comments: 1 Comment

    Redneck Hall Of Shame
    Posted on 11.19.09 by Danny Glover @ 2:00 pm

    The mission of this blog is to combat the myth that “redneck” is a synonym for “idiot,” “racist,” “ignoramus” or any other number of insults. But the world has enough unenlightened rednecks to make that a challenging mission.

    Rather than pretend that such people don’t exist, I’ve decided to induct them into the new “Redneck Hall of Shame.” Here are the first three dishonorees:

    • Jonathon Michael Miller and Stephen Ray Dilley II. Sarah Palin these Alaskans ain’t. They were charged with felony assault and reckless endangerment for setting a 5-year-old boy’s head on fire with a self-described “redneck flamethrower.”
    • Bill Otto. The Republican state lawmaker from Kansas caused a ruckus last month when he recorded a “redneck rap” critical of President Obama while wearing a hat that said “Opossum: The Other Dark Meat.” The Kansas NAACP demanded an apology; he refused to apologize. I don’t think Otto is racist or used the word “dark” on his hat as a reference to Obama, but enlightened rednecks have enough sense to realize people might leap to wrong conclusions.

    Check the “Redneck Hall Of Shame” category for more losers in the future. And all of you enlightened rednecks out there, please send your nominations. Shame is the best medicine for curing all that ails the redneck community.


    Filed under: News & Politics and People and Redneck Hall Of Shame and Rednecks
    Comments: 3 Comments

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