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Posted on 02.06.12 by Danny Glover @ 3:06 pm
My wife desperately wants to raise her own chickens. We live in a city. This story explains why my wife, thankfully, will never get her way:
Chickens belong in one of two places — in the country or on a platter. Filed under: Culture and Family and Rednecks and West Virginia Comments: None |
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Posted on 01.11.12 by Danny Glover @ 12:30 pm
Hollywood plans to send a sad but true statement next week about the vulgar realities of today’s modern family. ABC will air an episode of “Modern Family” about a 2-1/2-year-old toddler who says the dirtiest of dirty words. “We thought it was a very natural story since, as parents, we’ve all been through this,” the show’s creator, Steve Levitan, said in defending the storyline. Levitan’s explanation stretches credibility. His latest envelope-pushing plot is more a case of crude Hollywood social engineers trying to shove society further down the road of immorality than “entertainment” reflecting a norm. But he’s not too far ahead of the reality curve. I’ve documented America’s seemingly perpetual slide into the pit of profanity on this blog:
Too many people think it’s cool, creative and comical to cuss. There is almost no circumstance where uttering a bad word is considered a bad thing. In that atmosphere, it is inevitable that men like Levitan will see how far they can go to make their black mark on society. I wish Simon Cowell’s attitude held more sway in Hollywood and reality. He is determined to produce family entertainment free of swearing. But when it comes to language, George Carlin is the hero. His admirers won’t rest until everyone from toddlers to grannies utter all seven of his dirty words (and then some) with reckless abandon at home, in school, on the job and across the airwaves. Filed under: Culture and Entertainment and Parenting and People and Religion Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 12.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:27 pm
I decided long ago never to buy a home on property controlled by an association of nib-noses who love to impose elitist rules on others. As an enlightened being, I don’t decorate our property with tire planters or cars jacked up on blocks, but the redneck in me cherishes the freedom to do so. That’s why I like to see people who do choose to live within developments managed by homeowners associations stick it to the HOA man when he goes on a ridiculous and unjustifiable power trip. Overbearing rules usually have loopholes that are ripe for exploitation. A Facebook friend found just such a loophole during the holidays when her HOA decided to play Grinch. Her understated Christmas decorations — two red bows on the porch pillars and lanterns in the lawn — apparently violated the letter of the association’s lame laws about “seasonal decorations.” The HOA ordered her to remove them. She didn’t face any fines for the alleged breach, so she decided to keep the decorations in place. But the warning letter from the HOA irritated her and her husband so much that they decided to protest by also decorating their car in Christmas lights. “There is NOTHING in the rules prohibiting decorating your car with Christmas lights,” she said. Take that, HOA!  
Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Business and Culture and Family and Features and Holidays and Parenting and Photoshop Stop Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.21.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:01 am
A few weeks ago at my company’s blog, I sang the praises of social media as the best communications tool for getting satisfaction after bad consumer experiences. Lodging complaints via Facebook and Twitter is far more effective than using the telephone, I said. “Why endure that grief, which often yields no satisfaction, when I can spur a major corporation into action by tweeting 140 characters or by posting an embarrassing photo to Facebook?” Days later, I unintentionally proved my own point during an infuriating phone encounter with Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning. Both my wife and I had to endure an obnoxious lecture from an employee more determined to “educate” us about the realities of gutter cleaning than to abide by the guarantee that our gutters actually were clean. We’ve been customers of Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning for several years, ever since we moved into a three-story home whose gutters are beyond my limited ladder reach. We’ve been pleased with the company’s service most of the time, but we have had occasional problems, including our neighbor once witnessing Ned Stevens Gutter employees failing to clean all of the gutters on our house. When we reported that incident, the company sent a crew back to the house to finish the job. Ned Stevens Gutter often sends workers to our home when we are not here to witness the cleaning, so it takes a certain measure of trust to believe its teams do the work effectively. We hadn’t had any major problems except for the one episode, though, so Ned Stevens Gutter Cleaning had earned our trust. The company lost that trust in a big way two weeks ago. Filed under: Advertising and Business and Family and Social Media Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 12.17.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:21 pm
Our scaredy dog Daisy discovered fire tonight when we started the first one of the winter in our fireplace. Clearly we won’t be able to leave her alone in the living room with a fire burning. She may catch herself, and then our whole house, on fire. Smart dogs respect fire and keep their distance. Daisy, not so much. Filed under: Family and Human Interest and Pets and The Redneck Report and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.10.11 by Danny Glover @ 2:57 pm
I didn’t know until moments ago, when a colleague forwarded a video, that the West Virginia University band, known to all Mountaineers as “The Pride of West Virginia,” is a viral hit on YouTube. The video, viewed more than 1.1 million times so far is from the band’s performance at a game played this year just before Sept. 11 memorials. The show, a tribute to the U.S. armed forces, features a medley of songs from all U.S. military branches and amazing choreography that matches each song. At one point, band members form into airplane to recognize the U.S. Air Force, and as they march forward, smoke billows from the area where engines would be on the plane. I have family connections to the band. My brother marched with “The Pride” as a trombone player during college and still returns regularly to march as part of the alumni band on homecoming weekends in the fall. Even better, we’re related to WVU band director Jay Drury. His grandmother (my grandmother’s oldest sister) was my favorite great aunt during my childhood. I looked forward to visits with Aunt Kate during her weeks-long stays at my grandmother’s house. If you appreciate WVU’s tribute to the military, donate a few bucks toward the band’s travel fund to reward the directors and performers who created the show. UPDATE, Dec. 10: Fans of WVU and of the band’s tribute to the military are trying to get the National Football League to invite the band to perform the show again at the Super Bowl. Join the Facebook group if you like the idea. Correction: An earlier version of this article said the show was performed before Memorial Day. Filed under: Family and Human Interest and Music and Video and West Virginia Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.09.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:31 pm
If it were physically possible to install and decorate a Christmas tree this quickly, I wouldn’t be so reluctant to join the annual family ritual: Filed under: Family and Holidays and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.25.11 by Danny Glover @ 7:12 pm
You might be a redneck … if you insulate your shed with beer boxes. That’s what we discovered today when visiting my grandfather’s West Virginia farm, which has been abandoned for about two years since my uncle’s death.  
For the record, a previous tenant from long ago added the insulation. We visited the same shed years ago while that tenant lived there, and the shed also was full of deer hides and beer cans. I was glad when my uncle returned home and we finally quit renting the property to that bum. What I don’t know is if the tenant also is responsible for the bullet holes that riddle the door and walls of the same shed. I didn’t notice those bullet holes until today, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the guy who rented the place entertained himself by sitting on the front porch and shooting the shed across Indian Creek Road from the house. Filed under: Family and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Rednecks and West Virginia Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.22.11 by Danny Glover @ 4:18 pm
At my wife’s behest, we bought an outdoor deep fryer several years ago for two special meals — catfish and turkey. Kimberly laughs to this day as she remembers the sight of my mother and me lighting the fryer flame for our first deep-fried Thanksgiving feast. Mom had done a bit too much Internet research beforehand and had both of us terrified of torching the house or taking out the whole family in a massive explosion. We stretched the hose connecting the propane tank to the frier stand as far as we could, and if we had a 10-foot pole, I’m sure we would have used it to ignite the gas from a distance. If handheld video cameras and YouTube had existed back then, we may well have become a viral hit, albeit in Rebecca Black fashion. Laugh if you will, but today, Mom and I were vindicated by none other than the Homeland Security Department, which tweeted warnings about the dangers of frying turkeys. The department shared this video to emphasize the warning: How encouraging to see that the bureaucrats responsible for securing our nation are so committed to their jobs that they even issue an ominous warning about turkeys possessing our fryers in search of Thanksgiving Day revenge. Filed under: Family and Food and Government and Holidays and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 10.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:03 pm
We believe sex education is the responsibility of responsible parents, not alleged grown-ups who think children need to be educated in the ways of pornography and bestiality.
Yes, the story is about a middle-school curriculum — in New York City, which won’t come as a shock to any enlightened redneck. Children will be better off if they remain blissfully ignorant of some of those topics for a lifetime, but they certainly don’t need to learn about them while still children. (Read previous “Why We Home-School” lessons.) Filed under: Culture and Government and Parenting and Why We Home-School Comments: None |
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Posted on 10.18.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:45 pm
This pitch for Facebook “likes” by the American Family Association is the worst social media appeal I have seen in a long time:
Begging for fans as a way to avoid investing financially in a community is an uninspiring call to action, and I said as much on AFA’s Facebook page earlier this evening. I have been a fan of the organization for years, and I found today’s appeal off-putting. “You can do better,” I admonished. Alas, AFA’s Facebook monitor did not take the critique to heart. Instead, he/she deleted the comment, removed my “like” of the AFA page (ironic considering the appeal for “likes”) and blocked me from further liking or commenting on wall posts once I liked the page again. Well, I took that message to heart. Although I still embrace AFA’s family-friendly mission, I’m no longer a fan of the group — on Facebook or in spirit. Filed under: Family and Social Media and Technology Comments: None |
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Posted on 10.11.11 by Danny Glover @ 10:00 pm
Spot-checking the text messages of young children can be great entertainment for parents — or as the shcool kids say, LOL!!!
On the off chance that this was just a typo, we asked our 12-year-old son after seeing the message how to spell “school.” He spelled it verbally just the way he spelled it in the text to his friend. Clearly we need to schedule a remedial spelling class at the Glover Home School. And in case you’re wondering, yes, he knows we check his text messages randomly. It was a condition for us getting him a phone at such a young age — an open approach that I recommend for all parents. Anthony also knew I was going to post this snapshot of his mobile screen. He’s hoping it will make him famous all over the Internet. Boys! The sad thing is that now I’ll no longer be able to poke fun at public schools for this amusing error because our “home shcooled” son is guilty of it as well. Filed under: Grammar and Home Schooling and Just For Laughs and Parenting and Technology Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.26.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:44 pm
“Fact: There are no parental rights in the Constitution.” And the government — in the form of arrogant teachers and education bureaucrats who think they know best and do-gooder activist judges who take their side — is undercutting those rights every day. Here’s a taste of the disturbing evidence: The U.S. education system is full of committed teachers and administrators who focus on teaching the basics children need to excel in life. They care about their students, and they deserve the support of every parent. But a vocal and powerful minority of educators is even more committed to shaping children’s minds in ways that have nothing to do with reading, writing and arithmetic — and they will not be deterred by engaged, informed parents. The situation already is bad in America, which is one reason why we home-school (and under a religious exemption at that). It’s also why, as long as our children are of school age, we are unlikely to ever move to my much-beloved home state of West Virginia, where unenlightened rednecks are trying to impose invasive rules on home-schoolers. But the conditions could get much worse for parents if the U.S. government embraces the ideas of people who want to create a Global Nanny State. Fight that possibility by signing the petition for a Parental Rights Amendment. Filed under: Culture and Government and Home Schooling and News & Politics and Parenting and Religion and Video and West Virginia Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.05.11 by Danny Glover @ 3:47 pm
My son and nephew recently discovered a whole subculture of people who use duct tape (or Duck Tape for the brand version) to make all sorts of creations. In their case, they bought some flame-designed tape and made headbands. The boys’ curiosity prompted them to search the Internet for new ideas this afternoon. I know this because I started getting “blocked website” notices via email thanks to their search. I don’t even want to know what sites our Norton Internet filter blocked, but I immediately called my wife to tell her to nip that search in the bud unless she could supervise. Who knew searching the digital world for duct-tape inspiration is a PG activity — or worse! Filed under: Culture and Parenting and Technology Comments: None |
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Posted on 07.07.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:03 pm
[This is a reprint of a blog post I wrote at Beltway Blogroll on Sept. 22, 2006. It's one of my favorite stories about sharing the same name as a celebrity.] I didn’t call the president a racist devil. That was Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez at the United Nations earlier this week. And I didn’t stand with Chavez at a church in Harlem, N.Y., when he called George Bush “an alcoholic and a sick man.” That was Danny Glover the actor. I’m just a lowly journalist who hasn’t written word one about Chavez (until now). So please, please, please, stop sending me e-mails that read like this: – “I’m very ashamed of you. I have been a great fan of yours. … Danny, your actions are traderous! (sic) You should be ashamed politically. But on a grander scale the issues are spiritual and you are aligned with the devil and against God because of what, politics? Don’t be a fool.” – “Danny boy. If Chavez is your brother why don’t you move to Vennez. Don’t crap where you eat.” – “I am sickened to live in the same country as you. I hope you don’t call yourself an American. May God help you.” – “You, sir, are a piece of trash. Never again will I spend my money or time to patronize any movie or film that you have an active part in. You have sunken to the lowest levels of Americanism possible.” – “I cannot believe you live in this country and confess to be a communist.” By all means, boycott the movies of Danny Glover if you choose. Or maybe buy your gas somewhere other than Venezuela-backed Citgo, which is what bloggers like Michelle Malkin, Ed Morrissey and Mark Tapscott are doing or discussing. But please don’t protest in my in-box. Filed under: Family and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and People Comments: None |
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