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Posted on 12.11.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:28 pm
Yes, Minnesota, there is global warming — because alarmists used the politics of peer review to hide the decline in temperatures. And now Minnesotans for Global Warming has immortalized their dirty deeds in song just in time for the holidays: And now comedian Tim Hawkins reminds everyone what Christmas is all about: Filed under: Entertainment and Holidays and Just For Laughs and Music and People and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.09.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:39 pm
Santa Claus is coming to town … on a most unusual sleigh. We rednecks really know how to get in the holiday spirit, don’t we?
He even has the one with the red nose. Rudolph isn’t “the one that got away.” Filed under: Holidays and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
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Posted on 11.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:39 pm
What Melissa said: “The ad wraps up the left’s disgust with America. Crappy tradition, crappy white family, crappy Thanksgiving, hypocritical Christians and, of course, animal hatred. Basically, the ad captures everything they hate about America in one ad.” I can’t wait to scarf down some leftover turkey inside one of Mom’s homemade rolls for a snack this evening. I’ll enjoy it even more after watching that ad. And for entertainment, maybe I’ll watch MSNBC’s lame attempt to embarrass enlightened redneck Sarah Palin during her appearance at a turkey farm last year. Filed under: Advertising and Culture and Family and Food and Holidays and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 04.08.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:00 pm
Several days ago, after explaining how President Obama ruined the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, I sarcastically tweeted the following comment:
My sarcasm was way off the mark. Plenty of gay families will be at the egg roll. I should have known the president would take care of the liberal constituencies who helped elect him. He made sure that homosexuals will be there regardless of whether they beat the incredibly flawed online ticketing system his White House implemented for the egg roll:
Filed under: History and Holidays and Human Interest and News & Politics Comments: None |
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Posted on 04.01.09 by Danny Glover @ 9:12 am
It’s the Easter season, and that means chocolate bunnies will be hopping from store shelves to spring baskets across America over the next several days. Most kids kill their chocolate bunnies the old-fashioned way — by eating them. But here’s a more creative way to do the deed: Editor’s note: No real animals were harmed during the writing of this blog post. Sugary substitutes don’t count. Filed under: Holidays and Just For Laughs and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 01.01.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:00 pm
Listen to country music and you’ll get some great ideas for New Year’s resolutions — something better than the old standby “lose weight.” Here are some examples from song titles:
The blogger for Country Music Television has more ideas here. Filed under: Holidays and Redneck Music Comments: None |
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Posted on 01.01.09 by Danny Glover @ 3:28 pm
It’s news to me but apparently January is a month for men to “rebel” by growing their beards without trimming, eating lots of red meat and drinking whiskey. It’s called Manuary and has been celebrated since 2005 Chicago resident Bill Housewright started the Manuary movement “to get in touch with his ‘redneck, ex-country past.’” Seeing that I’m currently between jobs and can afford to look scruffy for awhile, I might just celebrate Manuary this year — minus the whiskey, of course, because I’m an enlightened redneck who doesn’t drink. Filed under: Culture and Holidays and Rednecks Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.31.08 by Danny Glover @ 5:19 pm
I wish we had been able to give our kids a Wii this Christmas just to get a reaction like this: Truth be told, I’d probably scream like that myself if “Santa” had delivered a Wii to our house. The one gift I wanted desperately as a child was the Atari game console, and when I didn’t get it the one year I really expected it, I bought it after Christmas with money I had saved delivering papers. Ah, those were the days! Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays and Technology Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 12.25.08 by Danny Glover @ 10:51 pm
An enlightened redneck has children who know a good gag gift when they see one. I found this gem of a stocking stuffer among my gifts this Christmas morning.
Push down on the back end of the reindeer and it deposits a scat-colored jellybean. Eat at your own risk. (I tried one, and they taste disgusting, but my kids like ‘em.) The gift was all the more hysterical because my two sweet daughters picked it. My mother-in-law gave me a similar gift for Christmas several years ago. It was a bear-shaped carving that pooped M&Ms when you raised its tail. My wife talked me into parting with that prized possession at last year’s “white elephant” gift exchange. It was one of the hits of the party. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Family and Holidays and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 12.25.08 by Danny Glover @ 6:15 pm
With one huge exception, I love being home for the holidays. This singing reindeer is the exception: My children and young nephews and nieces get their kicks by chasing me around the house and playing this rendition of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” over and over and over again. A couple of years ago, the torture got so bad that I hid the reindeer from everyone, including my parents. No one found it until well after the New Year. But that only encouraged the kids to make an even bigger game of annoying me with the song. I figured I’d do my part to get under the skin of everyone on the World Wide Web by posting a video of the redneck reindeer this year. Merry Christmas! Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 12.24.08 by Danny Glover @ 11:58 pm
Years ago, I bought the book “Redneck Night Before Christmas” for Grandpa Tumblebug, who loved gag gifts and loved to laugh. I read the book to my children and one of my nephews this Christmas Eve. Enjoy the performance, and remember, all my enlightened redneck friends, it’s just a joke. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.24.08 by Danny Glover @ 2:54 pm
Portfolio.com tried to rewrite the time-honored moral of the Christmas classic “It’s A Wonderful Life” with an essay that pegs the movie’s hero, George Bailey, as an irresponsible subprime lender.
“Perhaps Mr. Potter wasn’t just a heartless Scrooge,” she wrote. “Perhaps Mr. Potter, in the absence of sufficient regulatory oversight, was the one voice of sanity keeping the good people of Bedford Falls from over-leveraging themselves. Perhaps, if we had all taken Mr. Potter a little bit more seriously, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.” There’s one huge problem with that tall tale: The small fish in the big U.S. business pond — the George Baileys of the world, whose borrowers in the movie didn’t default — aren’t the ones who got us into this bailout mess. They didn’t make the stupid business decisions that killed our economy and then go running (or should I say flying in style) to Congress. In the modern era, Henry Potter would still be the bad guy. Were he alive today, he would be the fat-cat CEO of Countrywide Financial, or Citigroup, or AIG, or even GM or Chrysler — the man who left Bedford Falls and the free market at the mercy of another George (Bush) and Henry (Paulson). Sadly, no heroes have emerged in “It’s A Bailout Life,” and it doesn’t look like any angels are going to get their wings. Before long, we’ll all be living in Uncle Samsville.
UPDATE: I’ve refined my take on this post slightly as new thoughts about the movie and the current mess came to me. Filed under: Business and Culture and Government and Holidays Comments: 4 Comments |
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Posted on 12.22.08 by Danny Glover @ 3:07 pm
I love the holidays because it’s family time. We play games, feast on fattening foods, and relive old memories while making new ones. But there’s one thing I despise about Christmastime in the cable era: the constant flood of sappy holiday movies. Since arriving at my parents’ house in the great state of West Virginia, I have been subjected to the worst kind of holiday torture for three straight nights — hour upon hour of Christmas drama courtesy of Lifetime, Hallmark and ABC Family. “Lifewhine” even has a theme for this season, “Falalala Lifetime.” Falalala Lametime is more like it. As a father, I’m all for enjoying the Christmas classics, both cartoon and otherwise, with our children. But the modern drivel gets old pretty fast. I’d much rather watch the constant replays of “Cars” and “The Incredibles.” At least they have amazing high-tech animation. Of course, there is one Christmas movie I could watch over and over and over again — and come Christmas Eve, that may be exactly what I do. You know the cinematic wonder I’m talking about: Unfortunately, “A Christmas Story” includes so much bad language and so many disrespectful attitudes that it’s not something we can watch with our young children. Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.21.08 by Danny Glover @ 12:05 pm
Three straight posts about deer — I guess I’ve established a theme for the weekend, but it’s an appropriate one for the season, don’t ya think? Filed under: Culture and Holidays and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music Comments: None |
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Posted on 12.21.08 by Danny Glover @ 11:19 am
Word has it that this Christmas card was circulated around Alaska’s Legislature last week:
There is some debate about whether that is Sarah Palin steering Santa’s sleigh while he takes aim at a wolf. It sounds like a safe bet to me, based on the unwarranted grief the Republican vice-presidential nominee took this year for supporting aerial hunting. Regardless, the card is a work of creative genius by Alaskan aviation and wildlife artist Sandie Jamieson. Go see her other work. My favorites include “Alaska: The More-Oil Majority” and “Security Check.” You can get them on t-shirts! Filed under: Culture and Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Redneck Humor Comments: 17 Comments |
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