|
Posted on 01.12.12 by Danny Glover @ 12:43 pm
Remarkable redneck ingenuity is on display in this video, which demonstrates how you can turn your Christmas tree into a deadly slingshot crossbow: Filed under: Holidays and Human Interest and Hunting & Guns and Rednecks and Sports and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:27 pm
I decided long ago never to buy a home on property controlled by an association of nib-noses who love to impose elitist rules on others. As an enlightened being, I don’t decorate our property with tire planters or cars jacked up on blocks, but the redneck in me cherishes the freedom to do so. That’s why I like to see people who do choose to live within developments managed by homeowners associations stick it to the HOA man when he goes on a ridiculous and unjustifiable power trip. Overbearing rules usually have loopholes that are ripe for exploitation. A Facebook friend found just such a loophole during the holidays when her HOA decided to play Grinch. Her understated Christmas decorations — two red bows on the porch pillars and lanterns in the lawn — apparently violated the letter of the association’s lame laws about “seasonal decorations.” The HOA ordered her to remove them. She didn’t face any fines for the alleged breach, so she decided to keep the decorations in place. But the warning letter from the HOA irritated her and her husband so much that they decided to protest by also decorating their car in Christmas lights. “There is NOTHING in the rules prohibiting decorating your car with Christmas lights,” she said. Take that, HOA!  
Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Business and Culture and Family and Features and Holidays and Parenting and Photoshop Stop Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.20.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:43 pm
I’m talking about the Original RedNek Wine Glass, the kind of novelty item that would have been a perfect gimmick for a blog written by an enlightened redneck. A best seller on Amazon.com this holiday season, the Bell Mason jar glued to a Libby candlestick holder has generated $5 million in sales in just 10 months. Okie Morris of Newport News, Va., got the idea after seeing the two separate items in a thrift store. She thought it would be neat to forge them together and later sold the rights to a family-owned business in Pennsylvania. The rest is online marketing history. The uppity folks at Village Voice mocked the RedNek Wine Glass as “tackiness” and said it is “for country bumpkins with class,” but like me, they’re just jealous they didn’t have a multimillion-dollar stroke of redneck genius. Filed under: Business and Culture and Holidays and Rednecks Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.09.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:31 pm
If it were physically possible to install and decorate a Christmas tree this quickly, I wouldn’t be so reluctant to join the annual family ritual: Filed under: Family and Holidays and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 11.22.11 by Danny Glover @ 4:18 pm
At my wife’s behest, we bought an outdoor deep fryer several years ago for two special meals — catfish and turkey. Kimberly laughs to this day as she remembers the sight of my mother and me lighting the fryer flame for our first deep-fried Thanksgiving feast. Mom had done a bit too much Internet research beforehand and had both of us terrified of torching the house or taking out the whole family in a massive explosion. We stretched the hose connecting the propane tank to the frier stand as far as we could, and if we had a 10-foot pole, I’m sure we would have used it to ignite the gas from a distance. If handheld video cameras and YouTube had existed back then, we may well have become a viral hit, albeit in Rebecca Black fashion. Laugh if you will, but today, Mom and I were vindicated by none other than the Homeland Security Department, which tweeted warnings about the dangers of frying turkeys. The department shared this video to emphasize the warning: How encouraging to see that the bureaucrats responsible for securing our nation are so committed to their jobs that they even issue an ominous warning about turkeys possessing our fryers in search of Thanksgiving Day revenge. Filed under: Family and Food and Government and Holidays and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
|
Posted on 05.06.11 by Danny Glover @ 6:21 pm
As much as I love Twitter and my mother, I don’t think she has any interest in me teaching her a thing or two about Twitter for Mother’s Day — or Dad for Father’s Day. Methinks a shared Facebook account is enough social media for my parents. But here’s a fun video about Moms who tweet, just in case I’m wrong: Filed under: Family and Holidays and Media and Technology and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 02.14.11 by Danny Glover @ 11:07 am
On this Valentine’s Day, I will let the eloquent, passionate, late senator from West Virginia, Robert Byrd, speak for me about the importance of a soul mate to a man: My guiding light, my angel from the sky, is Kimberly Johnson Glover. Like too many middle-aged men who become complacent in marriage and take for granted the value of a God-fearing wife and mother, I don’t tell her — or show her — often enough how important she is in my life. Today is a good day to start. Yesterday would have been better. Tomorrow will be. Filed under: Family and Holidays and People and Religion and Video and West Virginia Comments: None |
|
Posted on 10.30.10 by Danny Glover @ 7:01 pm
Art is in the eye of the beholder, and in the eye of a redneck who has a pumpkin in his pistol sights, the making of the art is a wonder to behold: The truly amazing part of this video is the shooter’s steady hand and pinpoint accuracy in shot after shot. I wish had that kind of marksmanship. Filed under: Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Rednecks and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:18 pm
I’m so glad we finally took the plunge and bought an artificial Christmas tree this year. I’ve always fretted about keeping the real trees of our family’s past sufficiently watered: Filed under: Holidays and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:41 am
I always hated it when liberals took cheap shots at President Bush and his family for enjoying the luxuries of life they can afford by nature of good fortune. I hate cheap shots at President Obama and his family for the same reason. Come Jan. 1, I will be among the 10 percent of unemployed Americans. Our family has been tightening our belt all year knowing this day was coming. Even in better times, we never could have dreamed of renting a secluded and ritzy Hawaiian mansion for $4,000 a night. But I don’t begrudge the president and his family doing it, in good times for the nation or in bad, when they have been so richly blessed. The fact that taxpayers must foot part of the bill for presidential vacations does give me pause. But presidents make personal sacrifices for their country — the loss of privacy, the always-on-call nature of the job, the constant and often vicious criticism — and the reality is that they couldn’t vacation like the average Joe if they wanted. Don’t give them grief over embracing the luxuries of the job, I say. Every American would do the same given the opportunity. So enjoy your vacation, Mr. President. Consider it the fruits of this great country you serve. But when you get back to Washington, just please remember how blessed you are and don’t destroy with your policies the opportunities the rest of us have to feast on those fruits someday, too. Filed under: Government and Holidays and News & Politics and People and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 1:05 pm
Our Christmas tree is decorated with all kinds of redneck ornaments, including a Tasmanian Devil/Angel tree topper and several bear ornaments, but we don’t have this redneck scooter:
Of course, enlightened rednecks would fill that scooter with non-alcoholic drinks. Filed under: Holidays and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.19.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:03 pm
Think of all the small game that died to make this festive wreath possible — and smile knowing that it is driving the animal lovers at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals crazy.
Filed under: Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.18.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:58 pm
Still Christmas shopping for that special redneck in your life? Well, nothing says “I love you” like a gun rack under the mattress and a shotgun within reach as you sleep: That reminds me of a redneck Christmas carol I learned as a kid and sing to our children now: “Jingle bells, shotgun shells, Santa Claus is dead. Tried to steal my teddy bear, so I shot him in the head.” Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Filed under: Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.15.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:40 pm
Here is a touching holiday story from a Philadelphia-area diner: The City of Brotherly Love indeed. I suspect the mystery couple that started it all were rednecks because they appreciate simple but meaningful gestures. Filed under: Food and Holidays and Human Interest and Video Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.12.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:14 pm
The Emerald Coast of Florida, which runs from Pensacola to Port St. Joe, has earned the nickname “Redneck Riviera,” so it makes sense that the area is home to a redneck Christmas festival. The event is today, and the Pensacola News Journal published a preview earlier this week:
Rednecks raising money for good causes — it doesn’t exactly fit the elitist stereotype, does it? But the fun and games do. “Everything from redneck fishing to frying pan toss to greasy pig contest and cow patty bingo will entertain kids and adults alike.” One of these days, I need to make an annual list of all of the great, all-American redneck events — and then plan some road trips. Filed under: Holidays and Redneck Humor and Rednecks Comments: None |
| previous posts » |
