Puking On The Pitt Pumpkin
Posted on 10.31.11 by Danny Glover @ 10:27 pm

Sometimes we West Virginia University fans have a twisted sense of humor. Our “Backyard Brawl” rivalry with the Pitt Panthers brings out the best of the worst within us.

WVU vs. Pitt (Halloween Edition)

The Mountaineers win the “Front-Porch Pumpkin Brawl”!

Filed under: Just For Laughs and Photography and Redneck Humor and Sports and West Virginia
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Someone Get Andrew Luck A Hanky
Posted on 10.30.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:08 pm

Andrew Luck definitely has enlightened redneck potential.

He’s a football star at an elite school (Stanford University), a candidate for the coveted Heisman Trophy and the son of West Virginia University athletic director Oliver Luck (once a Rhodes Scholar candidate from WVU). But Andrew Luck also is not afraid to blow projectile snot out his nose on national television:

I saw this happen live last night, but it was late. I thought maybe Luck had spit and the camera angle made it look like snot. Instant replay, however, confirmed that I saw what I thought I saw. Someone get the man a hanky!

Filed under: Just For Laughs and People and Redneck Humor and Sports and Video and West Virginia
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Old Advice For A New Age
Posted on 10.29.11 by Danny Glover @ 10:15 pm

Back in the late 1990s, I briefly joined the National Conference of Editorial Writers while I was working at an e-zine called IntellectualCapital.com, which we liked to think of as the op-ed page on the Web. At the time, many NCEW members held the freewheeling Internet masses in contempt. I was among the few who didn’t and had some rather pointed debates over the issue with my skeptical colleagues.

I had forgotten that I wrote an article about the issue for the NCEW magazine, The Masthead, back in 1999. I just rediscovered that article online. It’s as relevant in today’s era of blogging and social media, where the power of editorial gatekeepers is greatly diminished, as it was more than a decade ago, so I’m going to reprint the article. Here it is:

Old Advice For A New Age
The Masthead
March 22, 1999

By K. Daniel Glover

A half-century ago, at the first convention of the National Conference of Editorial Writers, renowned newspaperman Henry Louis Mencken admonished our founders with these words: “No editorial writer,” he said, “ought to be permitted to sit in an editorial room for month after month and year after year, contemplating his umbilicus. He ought to go out and meet people.”

Simple words (with the exception of umbilicus!), simple message: Get out of your ivory editorial tower and listen to the people lest you make a mockery of your profession.

Mencken’s message retains its relevancy today, which explains its presence within the corner of cyberspace we know as NCEW Online, and it is a message every online (and perhaps offline) commentator ignores at his or her own risk. Why? The one-word answer: interactivity.

You see, there are no ivory towers on the Internet. “The people” have rejected both the editorial elitism of the past and the hit-and-run punditry of the present. They have demanded a voice in the national discourse, and the World Wide Web has given them that voice — one that often is unfiltered and unlimited.

Filed under: Blogging and Media and Social Media and Technology
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Bad News, Good News (In Pictures)
Posted on 10.27.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:18 am

One of the most common complaints about the media is that they emphasize bad news almost to the exclusion of good news. The truth of that critique was never more obvious than in yesterday’s “Pictures of the Day” on Lens, a New York Times blog about photography.

Readers were treated to a series of photo stories full of bad news, including:

  • Flooding in Bangkok;
  • Fiery protests by Yemeni women against their government;
  • Earthquake devastation in Turkey;
  • War in Afghanistan and Libya;
  • Physical fighting in Italy’s parliament;
  • The police crackdown on “Occupy” protesters in Atlanta;
  • And Palestinians rooting through the “garbage” of Jewish settlers on the West Bank.

The Times apparently prefers to front load its journalism with bad news and end on a happier note, though. The 12th picture of 13 featured a colorful image of a prayerful religious festival in Sri Lanka and then this gorgeous snapshot of a double rainbow over London.

Filed under: Human Interest and News & Politics and Photography and Weather
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Why We Home-School, Lesson #35
Posted on 10.24.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:03 pm

We believe sex education is the responsibility of responsible parents, not alleged grown-ups who think children need to be educated in the ways of pornography and bestiality.

Middle-school students will be assigned “risk cards” that rate the safety of different activities, the paper says, from French kissing to oral sex.

The workbooks for older students direct them to a website run by Columbia University, which explores topics such as sexual positions, porn stars and bestiality. The lessons explain risky sexual behavior and suggest students go to stores to jot condom brands and prices.

Yes, the story is about a middle-school curriculum — in New York City, which won’t come as a shock to any enlightened redneck. Children will be better off if they remain blissfully ignorant of some of those topics for a lifetime, but they certainly don’t need to learn about them while still children.

(Read previous “Why We Home-School” lessons.)

Filed under: Culture and Government and Parenting and Why We Home-School
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Redneck Power Lines
Posted on 10.20.11 by Danny Glover @ 9:21 pm

Embarrassing as it is to admit, this snapshot is from my home town — Paden City, W.Va.

Talk about a high-voltage splint! The friend who posted this photo to Facebook said the power line has been in this state of dangerous disrepair for a month now.

I love my heritage. West Virginia is a beautiful state full of generous, kind and humble people. But when I see images like this, it’s hard to refute the hillbilly stereotype of the great Mountain State. Of course, that’s also part of our charm.

Filed under: Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and West Virginia
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‘Must Be Able To Work Indecently’
Posted on 10.19.11 by Danny Glover @ 1:14 pm

I know the economy is bad, but is it so bad that people would be willing to consider a job where one of the skills required is this:

Must be able to work indecently, with minimal direct supervision.

I can see why someone who is willing to work indecently wouldn’t want much direct supervision. The job also requires “overnight travel” and a willingness to “embrace diversity.”

One laughable error in word choice makes the ad sound like something from an adult publication, but it’s actually a listing for … a food-safety specialist in Northern Virginia/Maryland. No pole-dancing required.

My guess is that the ad meant to say the employee “must be able to work independently.” Instead, we see what happens when all of the copy editors are downsized.

Filed under: 1980s and Adoption and Books and Business and Grammar and Just For Laughs and Media
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Blocked By The American Family Association
Posted on 10.18.11 by Danny Glover @ 8:45 pm

This pitch for Facebook “likes” by the American Family Association is the worst social media appeal I have seen in a long time:

Begging for fans as a way to avoid investing financially in a community is an uninspiring call to action, and I said as much on AFA’s Facebook page earlier this evening. I have been a fan of the organization for years, and I found today’s appeal off-putting. “You can do better,” I admonished.

Alas, AFA’s Facebook monitor did not take the critique to heart. Instead, he/she deleted the comment, removed my “like” of the AFA page (ironic considering the appeal for “likes”) and blocked me from further liking or commenting on wall posts once I liked the page again.

Well, I took that message to heart. Although I still embrace AFA’s family-friendly mission, I’m no longer a fan of the group — on Facebook or in spirit.

Filed under: Family and Social Media and Technology
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‘We Are’ A Political Cliche
Posted on 10.17.11 by Danny Glover @ 10:48 pm

A rhetorical gimmick made popular in politics over the past few years has reached annoying heights thanks to the “Occupy Wall Street” movement.

Here’s how the gimmick works: People use the words “I am” to identify with a particular candidate or cause. The technique manifests itself in the form of a video (”I am Sarah Palin“), a book (”I Am Barack Obama“), a website (”I am John Galt“), or more traditional political paraphernalia like bumper stickers and t-shirts.

It’s a simple, personal and effective way to make an individual statement while also demonstrating collective strength. And it’s creative.

Well, at least it was the first time. Now it has become a predictable cliche, with all the creativity of most television spin-offs and movie sequels. For a movement to achieve legitimacy today, it seems, the masses must prove they are the common man. They must prove that “I am.”

Or, in the case of “Occupy Wall Street” and its critics, that “We are”:

This copycat routine, fostered by the theme-friendly blog platform Tumblr, is mind-boggling. How many more “We are” and “I am” blogs can one movement spawn?

Please, make it stop!

Filed under: News & Politics
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How To Lose ‘The Hick Vote’
Posted on 10.17.11 by Danny Glover @ 5:55 pm

Politicians who say “I’m going for the hick vote” significantly lower their chances of getting it.

Liberal Democrat Elizabeth Warren, who fancies herself an “elite hick,” made that mistake last week on the LeftAhead podcast, Politico reports. Here’s what she told her interviewer, who also touted his redneck roots in Oklahoma and West Virginia:

I’m going for the hick vote here, I just want you to know. Maybe we could start wearing stickers that say ‘Hicks for Elizabeth’ – could we do that?

Warren undoubtedly is an elite and may well be an elite hick. But that’s a fer piece (as we hicks say) from “enlightened redneck.” True hicks and rednecks don’t have to tell people that’s what they are. They live it. I have yet to see it in Warren.

Filed under: News & Politics and People and Rednecks and West Virginia
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