The Obama Cactus Caucus
Posted on 09.22.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:05 pm

President Obama wasn’t born in America. He’s a Muslim. He’s a communist. You’ve heard all those lunatic conspiracy theories before, but how about this one?

According to a poll released Tuesday, nearly 20 percent of U.S. citizens now believe Barack Obama is a cactus, the most Americans to identify the president as a water- retaining desert plant since he took office.

The poll, conducted by the Pew Research Center, found a sharp rise in the number of Americans who say they firmly believe Obama was either born a cactus, became a cactus during his youth, or has questionable links to the Cactaceae family. …

Obama has lost favor among many voters who supported his candidacy in 2008 but have since come to doubt he is a mammal. While these Americans concede Obama may not specifically be a cactus, most believe he is a plant of some kind, with 18 percent saying the president is a ficus, 37 percent believing him to be a grain such as wheat or millet, and 12 percent convinced he is an old-growth forest in Northern California.

When asked why they agreed with the statement “President Obama is a large succulent plant composed of specialized cells designed for water retention in arid climates,” many responded that they “just know,” claiming the president only acts like a human being for political purposes and is truly a cactus at heart.

Just in case there are any humor-challenged redneck readers out there, let me state unequivocally that the poll is satire. It’s not real. It’s in The Onion. But the idiocy of it casts a bright light not only on silly polls but also on the craziness that some Americans rush to embrace when they despise a politician.

When I read a few tidbits from the satire to a colleague, she asked, “How do they come up with that stuff?” My answer: They obviously drink a lot. I wish booze could explain the twisted rationale of “birthers” and other Obama haters, but sadly, their psyches are scarred by more than alcohol.

I don’t like Obama’s policies or his political philosophy. Both are bad for America. But let’s stop with the unhinged rumors that he’s something other than what we know him to be — a president who is expanding government to dangerous levels, spending the country into oblivion and undermining an fragile economy. That’s crazy enough!

Filed under: Just For Laughs and News & Politics
Comments: 1 Comment

Predator And Prey: A Political Portrait
Posted on 09.21.10 by Danny Glover @ 8:55 am

The tea party movement is the owl; the mouse is the political establishment.

We all know how the story will end in November, but the mouse still doesn’t see it coming.

Filed under: News & Politics and Photography and Wildlife
Comments: None

They Fought For Me — And You
Posted on 09.17.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:33 pm

Salute the troops on this Constitution Day. America is free because of them.

Filed under: Government and History and News & Politics and Video
Comments: None

Close Calls
Posted on 09.16.10 by Danny Glover @ 7:00 am

Two decades ago while working as a reporter in West Virginia, I had a potentially deadly experience on a ski lift. I was covering an skiing event at Canaan Valley State Park that featured Gov. Gaston Caperton, so I took the lift halfway up the course in order to snap photos of Caperton on the way down.

After the photo op, two other journalists and I climbed onto a mid-course lift platform typically used only by resort staff. We weren’t dressed for skiing and were carrying camera equipment. The lift operator said he would stop a lift chair for us so we didn’t have to drudge all the way downhill.

We believed him, but he didn’t stop the chair. The two other journalists with me, one of them a network television cameraman, managed to take their seats as the chair kept moving across the platform, which was maybe 40 feet long before a two- or three-story drop to the snow-covered hillside below. But my camera bag snagged on the chair as I tried to climb aboard.

I realized I didn’t have the time to untangle myself and take a seat, so to avoid plummeting to the ground, I grabbed the chair seat from the back with my left arm. My camera bag was on my right shoulder. The operator stopped the lift’s progression just as it left the platform.

I don’t know how long my nightmare scenario lasted, but it was long enough for me to ponder my options: let go and hope there was enough snow to that I would only break a few bones during the fall; hold on for dear life for a long, scary journey to the bottom of the hill; or try to climb onto the chair, though I had no idea how.

Filed under: Human Interest and Sports and Video
Comments: None

The Parable Of The Rug
Posted on 09.15.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:07 pm

Put your faith in the economy, your job, your home, your earthly relationships, or your happiness, security identity or sanity, and you’re bound to have the rug pulled out from under you eventually. Put your faith in God and trust in His grace, love and righteousness, and you’ll stand firm.

And don’t think for a second that you can put one foot on the firm foundation of faith and the other on the shaky ground of comfort in this life. You’ll fall flat on your face every time.

Filed under: Religion and Video
Comments: None

Remember The Titans Cheerleader
Posted on 09.13.10 by Danny Glover @ 8:09 pm

The mascot for the Tennessee Titans feasted on one of the team’s cheerleader’s yesterday. The video isn’t as gruesome as it sounds:

Filed under: Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Sports and Video
Comments: None

Worst Football Play In History (Revisited)
Posted on 09.01.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:04 pm

A year ago come Oct. 1, I uploaded to YouTube a 31-second news clip titled “Worst Football Play In History” and embedded it on this blog along with two other amazing football videos.

The clip I posted was modestly popular at the time but by no means a viral hit. The last time I looked at the stats a few months ago, the clip had been viewed more than 10,000. But it hit the viral big time last weekend when Prep Rally, a Yahoo sports blog, embedded the clip in a story about the latest gridiron embarrassment.

Comparing the clip I posted last fall with the new one, the blog concluded: “Amidst all the horrendous bloopers of past years, that Vermont finish seemed like the worst play ever … until today. Even champions have to retire some time, and the Vermont clip will always know it went out to, truly, the worst play in high school football history.”

I’ll let you decide the winner after watching both videos below (mine is the first one), but all I care about at the moment is that I’m now the proud digital papa of my first viral video. Thanks to Yahoo, the clip has been viewed nearly 725,000 times.

That’s not going to break any YouTube records — the fresher clip currently has more than 1.7 million views — but it’s still cool.

Filed under: Sports and Technology and Video
Comments: None

‘Fiscal Child Abuse’ In America
Posted on 09.01.10 by Danny Glover @ 8:01 am

About six weeks from now, Americans will get a fiscal wake-up call in the form of a new documentary titled “I Want Your Money.” I love that it’s being released just before the election — the perfect time to remind taxpayers how Washington has robbed them over the past two years — and I hope it’s enough to make voters take a throw-the-spending-bums-out stand at the ballot box.

Here’s the trailer to the movie. Spread it far and wide, and invite your friends to go see it:

Filed under: Entertainment and Government and News & Politics and Video
Comments: None

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