Living Elitist In Small-Town America
Posted on 08.25.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:39 pm

Amy Hinds, a teacher in Missouri, the author of the blog Living Single in Small-Town America, and a talented photographer, fancies herself a teacher. But by my reading of her latest blog entry, “Really … I Don’t Hate Rednecks,” she has much to learn, too.

It’s clear from the title and lighthearted tone of of Hinds’ essay that she’s not as hostile as most people who make a sport of mocking rednecks these days. But she has an elitist streak that is blinding her to who we rednecks really are.

A stubborn embrace of the Confederate flag does not a redneck make. Neither are sexism nor a contempt for English class the exclusive domain of rednecks. Plenty of highly educated men are chauvinist pigs who can’t write or speak coherently, and whose idea of a good book is the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

Ironically, Hinds plans to use her own redneck past to better connect with her students:

I am going to talk about growing up on a big farm, doing lots of farm chores, and how I still basically live on a farm. I’m going to tell my crazy stories about wild animals getting into my house and my having to shoot things like possums and raccoons. I’m going to put pictures I’ve taken of our farm (animals, equipment, etc.) and my niece and nephews dressed up in John Deere and hanging out on the farm as my screen saver for my school computer. Often, my screen saver is projected on the board, so they will see the pictures.

It’s a smart move on her part. Hopefully she’ll learn as much about rednecks this year as they learn from her. It sounds like they all need a good education.

Filed under: Grammar and Hatin' On Rednecks and People and Rednecks
Comments: None

The Singing Candidate
Posted on 08.25.10 by Danny Glover @ 9:42 pm

Chris Young, a Democrat who wants to be mayor of Providence, R.I., proved himself to be both politically and literally tone deaf in an appearance on a local television program.

Put that in the category of “things not to do if you want to be elected.” But he may have a future in the ridicule round of “America’s Got Talent” or “American Idol.”

Filed under: Just For Laughs and News & Politics and People and Video
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Bambi On Steroids
Posted on 08.25.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:55 pm

This is one smart monster buck. He’s hiding in plain sight in Colorado Springs, assuring himself protection from admiring neighbors, journalists and game wardens.

The news team at KKTV 11 made Bambi on steroids a celebrity by posting his picture to Facebook and airing a full video report with more amazing footage of a deer quite at ease in man’s spotlight.

Filed under: Human Interest and Wildlife
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Congress 101: How To Avoid Angry Voters
Posted on 08.24.10 by Danny Glover @ 7:24 pm

Remember all those angry town-hall meetings last summer? Wondering why similar clashes between congressmen and the people they purport to represent haven’t materialized this August? Heritage for America has the answer in this video:

Filed under: Government and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and Video
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Are You Ready For Some Football?!
Posted on 08.24.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:58 pm

This message is aimed at football fanatics everywhere — except those of us who bleed blue and gold for the West Virginia University Mountaineers.

Let’s go … Mountaineers!

On a more serious note, Jason Hardin used the video to make an excellent point at his blog, Imagine Man As God Envisioned (IMAGE): “There is an epic reality that must overshadow and define sports as nothing more than meaningless games. Let’s raise our children with that sort of framework. To search for lasting happiness and true fulfillment in the outcome of a game is vanity and a striving after wind.”

Filed under: Culture and Religion and Sports and Video and West Virginia
Comments: 1 Comment

Redneck Pride On Display
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:19 pm

Nothing says “redneck” like a load of lettered laundry hanging out to dry for the whole neighborhood, and the passerby photographer, to see:

Redneck Festival

The photographer, Mark Luethi, snapped the photo at the Weissport Redneck Festival in Pennsylvania. This is the third year for the event, which is scheduled for Labor Day weekend.

Filed under: Just For Laughs and Photography and Redneck Humor and Rednecks
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The War Of Redneck Aggression
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:58 pm

Earlier this year, I earned my 15 seconds of fame in the international spotlight when BBC interviewed me about the meaning of the word redneck. I owe it all to comedian Robin Williams, whose jab at Australia as the home of English rednecks triggered an Australian attack on Alabama.

Now Williams is set to tour Australia, and he wants to make sure the Aussies and everyone else involved knows he was just doing his job — telling jokes and making people laugh. “That was pretty bizarre. I was like: ‘Wow! I’ve started an international incident! I don’t want to cause a war between Alabama and Australia — please no!’”

Filed under: Entertainment and Hatin' On Rednecks and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Rednecks
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Country Roads Lead To WVU, Not Marshall
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:43 pm

Bad things happen when rednecks “think outside the box” — bad things like Marshall University’s band ending its tradition of playing “Take Me Home, Country Roads” at the behest of unenlightened Athletic Director Mike Hamrick:

Hamrick, who is beginning his second year at Marshall, said the university wanted to go a different direction because of all of the changes being made at the stadium. New video scoreboards and an updated sound system are a few components of the $3 million athletic facilities overhaul that fans will notice next month.

“We’re changing our approach to the game presentation,” Hamrick said. “We want to put together a new concept for the presentation, and ‘Country Roads’ is just not part of that new concept.”

Taking “a different direction” than “Country Roads” in West Virginia is like traveling the wrong way on a one-way street. Marshall has gone to the dark side, giving West Virginia University alumni like me yet another reason to despise the Thundering Herd.

But that’s OK because no band performs “Country Roads” better than WVU’s band. Now the master musicians in the Pride of West Virginia will have the tune all to themselves. I hope they play it with an extra dose of passion when we beat Marshall on the Thundering Herd’s home field come Sept. 11.

Filed under: Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music and Sports and West Virginia
Comments: None

Attack Of The Flying Lunar Man-bats
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:00 pm

Since the dawn of the blogosphere, holier-than-thou journalistic colleagues of mine who think much too highly of our distinguished yet flawed profession have ridiculed blogs as the breeding ground of rumors, lies, innuendo and hoaxes. They all need a history lesson.

The New York Sun provided a good one today in an amusing piece about how that storied newspaper manufactured a myth about moon creatures 175 years ago to boost circulation:

The stories, often attributed to a plot hatched in our circulation department, reported not only that astronomers, gazing through a new type of telescope based in South Africa, had discovered life on the moon but that they had seen swarms of flying lunar man-bats. …

[T]he reports referred to the discovery of what the editor called “vast forests and fields of poppies and lunar animals.” Summarized he: “First to be sighted was a herd of quadrupeds and then an animal that the Sun said ‘would be classified on earth as a monster,’ a bluish-gray thing about the size of a goat but with a single horn in the center of its head.” …

Dr. John Herschel, the operator of the telescope, and his team spied what Mr. Goodman calls ‘four flocks of large winged creatures.’ The creatures were seen ‘descending in a slow, even motion from the cliffs to the plain, where they landed and, their wings disappearing behind them, began walking, erect and dignified, toward a nearby forest.’”

The moral of the story is that there is nothing new under the journalistic sun. Misinformation and disinformation may spread more rapidly and flourish longer these days as a result of blogs, Twitter, Facebook and other new media tools, but the media are just the means to an age-old end.

Blogs don’t deceive people; people deceive people. Every blogger should memorize that motto, bookmark the Sun’s quasi-correction of its 175-year-old lunar man-bats story and play it as the trump card the next time some uppity journalist decides to bash blogs.

Filed under: History and Human Interest and Media
Comments: None

The Tea Partier’s Guide To D.C.
Posted on 08.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:51 pm

Here’s some helpful advice for tea partiers who will be visiting the nation’s capital in coming weeks for various political events:

If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don’t know where you are, so you should not explore them.

The warning reminded me of a scary experience I had not long after moving to Washington.

While I was in graduate school at American University, I had to interview one of the leaders of the Libertarian Party for a paper, so I arranged an interview at the party’s headquarters. I soon wished I had conducted the interview by phone because party HQ was in one of the worst part’s of Washington.

I had worked in Washington for a couple of years by that point, but I lived in Virginia and didn’t really know much about the city. I generally only knew how to get to work by Metro and how to get to the most famous sites so I could play tour guide when family and friends visited. None of those areas seemed particularly dangerous, even to an easily intimidated small-town boy like me.

But I knew Southeast was the wrong part of town when I noticed all of the graffiti and the bars on every business’ windows. I really became scared when my cab driver tried to convince me to let him drop me off on the wrong side of the street from the Libertarian Party’s office and about a quarter-mile past all the businesses. I demanded that he make a u-turn and drop me at the office.

After the interview, which was in late fall, I was horrified to realize that there wasn’t a cab in sight for me to hail back into a safer part of town. I had to walk to the nearest Metro station, which was two or three blocks away. It was the spookiest walk of my life.

When I told my classmates the next day where I had been, they all thought I was nuts for going to Southeast. I wish they had been so forthcoming about D.C.’s bad neighborhoods before the interview.

Filed under: Culture and Travel
Comments: None

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