Redneck Scrabble
Posted on 06.29.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:56 pm

Non-rednecks think it’s a word game you play to poke fun at rednecks.

All words must be spelled the way a redneck might spell it. We enjoy playing it, except for my schoolteacher friend for whom it brought back horrible memories of her training, when she was assigned to assist in teaching elementary school in a rural part of the country.

Enlightened rednecks know it’s a language you speak, and it takes years of practice to master.

Filed under: Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Rednecks
Comments: None

Danny Glover As Therapist
Posted on 06.28.10 by Danny Glover @ 11:05 pm

I’m talking about this Danny Glover, the enlightened redneck, not the actor who made my name famous.

The headline is just my cheap attempt at driving more traffic to the site to see the video of the latest television ad for Geico insurance. My wife tells me that it’s a spot-on portrayal of what I would be like had I chosen to become a psychiatrist — and I was never a drill sergeant in the military.

Filed under: Advertising and Business and Just For Laughs and Video
Comments: None

Why We Home-School, Lesson #29
Posted on 06.28.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:19 pm

We don’t want our children “educated” in an environment where administrators encourage sexual promiscuity as early as elementary school by distributing condoms.

(Read previous “Why We Home-School” lessons.)

Filed under: Culture and News & Politics and Why We Home-School
Comments: None

The Frustrations Of VRE
Posted on 06.28.10 by Danny Glover @ 10:02 pm

I want to love Virginia Railway Express, I really do. But VRE is making it tough these days.

I was excited back in April when I accepted a job at a firm whose office location is convenient enough to make VRE a cost-effective commuting option. The VRE commute also saves me time — 1-1/2 hours one way vs. more than two by car — and stress. I’d rather read, play iPhone games or sleep all the way into Washington than idle behind the wheel in traffic.

For the most part, I have enjoyed the VRE commute the last two months. One morning last week, I tweeted about how cool it was to see a deer and wild turkeys in the clearings along the tracks.

But everything started going wrong that very day. A train breakdown commute doubled my evening commute, and we experienced delays the next two mornings and evenings. Then tonight, VRE canceled the train I take home in the evening without giving us passengers an advance warning during the morning.

I either faced the option of waiting another hour for the next train or getting back on the Metro system, paying higher fares and asking my wife to come get me at the last stop on the Orange Line. So VRE cost me money to ride a public transportation system I hate, and inconvenienced my wife, our kids and me. That’s no way to win the loyalty of customers.

I’ll keep taking VRE because it’s still my best commuting option, but I won’t be singing the agency’s praises in my tweets or on Facebook any more.

Filed under: D.C. Commuter Diary and Travel
Comments: 3 Comments

The D.C. Metro Way
Posted on 06.28.10 by Danny Glover @ 9:35 pm

Fares go up and services go down — that’s the D.C. Metro system’s way of doing business.

Higher rates of up to 18 percent took effect over the weekend for commuters, tourists and others using the public rail system in the nation’s capital. For me that means 20 cents more per ride for three measly stops. That may seem like chump change, but it adds up quickly — 40 cents a day, $2 a week, $8-plus a month and almost $100 a year.

Worse than the rate hikes, though, are the simultaneous, perpetual declines in commuting quality. The Metro system has a hard-earned reputation for shoddy service that plummets in reverse proportion to fare increases.

Trains are forced out of service at the height of rush hour; escalators are taken out of service for months; operators don’t give passengers time to board before closing the doors; and cars feel like saunas because of broken air-conditioning. I’ve experienced all of these problems in the few weeks since Metro finalized the latest fare increase — and remember, I only travel between three stops!

I took the picture in this entry several days into June and posted it to Twitter to try to embarrass Metro into action on an escalator that already had been broken for weeks. Metro’s response: It changed the date on the sign to say July, and still no workers have begun work on the project.

Unfortunately, we riders are at the mercy of Metro officials who realize most of us have no better option than public transportation if we want to get into the city cheaply and relatively quickly. For years I’ve been saying that the day it becomes cheaper to drive into the city is the day I stop taking Metro (and now Virginia Railway Express). But with higher gas and parking prices, that day never comes.

Filed under: D.C. Commuter Diary and News & Politics and Travel
Comments: 1 Comment

Diary Of A D.C. Commuter
Posted on 06.26.10 by Danny Glover @ 8:40 pm

Speaking of the D.C. Metro system, I had a lousy week on the commuting front. Most of the problems were on the Virginia Railway Express, but the Metro system is typically the bigger headache.

My travails were so trying this week that I wrote about them regularly in various social media outlets. I’ve decided to compile my highs (not many) and lows here as my first entry of a new feature, “Diary Of A D.C. Commuter.” Here’s a recap from this week’s posts on Twitter, Facebook and Foursquare:

  • Monday: “Another #Metro car sauna. This really is getting ridiculous, @wmata. Trains shouldn’t be hotter than steamy stations. #metrofail”
  • Tuesday: “My train commute is ending just in time to get rained on.”
  • Wednesday, 7:38 a.m.: “I just saw a doe in the clearing by the tracks. Commuting via @VaRailXpress is cool.”
  • 7:51 a.m.: “Add wild turkeys in a pasture to the list of today’s nature sightings on @VaRailXpress.”
  • (more…)

Filed under: Business and Human Interest and News & Politics
Comments: None

The D.C. Metro Dancer
Posted on 06.26.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:03 pm

I ride the D.C. Metro trains every weekday, and I can say with confidence that nothing about the rapidly declining service would inspire a man to dance like this (or at all):

The dancer, apartment leasing agent Bob Grannan, found his rhythm in the beat of “a song from Hairspray; either ‘Can’t Stop the Beat,’ ‘Without Love’ or ‘Run and Tell That.’” And he plans to stay footloose even though he has now been exposed on YouTube.

Filed under: Culture and Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

Violent Musical Fantasies That Make You Smile
Posted on 06.26.10 by Danny Glover @ 12:23 pm

Country musicians have a twisted knack for making violence seem amusing. The latest entry in this niche music genre is the song “Pray For You,” by Jaron and the Long Road to Love.

Here are the deadly wishes for a wife scorned from the chorus alone: “I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill. I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to. I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls. I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls. I pray all your dreams never come true. Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but smile, especially when I watch the video.

I unsuccessfully fought the same urge — being entertained by violent, sometimes deadly fantasies set to catchy music rather than offended by them — when The Dixie Chicks released “Goodbye Earl” and when Carrie Underwood’s tune “Before He Cheats” rose to the top of the charts. The latter is still one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers. Enjoy these online encore performances:

Filed under: Entertainment and Just For Laughs and Music and Redneck Music and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

A Super Big Gulp Of Farmville
Posted on 06.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 8:01 pm

It wasn’t long ago, maybe six months, that I incessantly teased my wife for playing Farmville on Facebook. The game looked lame. Who wants to waste time plowing digitally, planting and harvesting virtual crops, and collecting electronic feathers from chickens and milk from cows?

Then, amidst the tedious hours of unemployment, I started playing Farmville because I had way too much time to waste. I was hooked, even worse than my wife (and our young children, who began playing the role of hired farm hands when Mommy grew bored with the game). I’ve been gainfully employed for several months now, and I’m still playing Farmville!

My addiction is so strong that my wife has been feeding it by buying new Farmville goodies at 7-Eleven, including this Super Big Gulp cup that won me a pool-diving cow for my farm:

Fortunately, my boss, David All, is a big believer in the potential of social gaming to boost corporate and political brands. PR Week recently published his essay on the subject, and I am now one of the team members at the David All Group brainstorming ways to use social gaming as a promotional tool.

So Farmville is now both work and entertainment. It’s a sweet assignment.

Filed under: Business and Culture and Entertainment and Technology
Comments: None

Somewhere Over The Potomac
Posted on 06.23.10 by Danny Glover @ 6:38 pm

I’m stuck on the train bridge halfway across the Potomac because of a disabled VRE train ahead of us a few miles. We’re going to have to stop and pick up those stranded passengers.

It’s going to be a long commute home — but at least I have a seat on an air-conditioned train. And hassles like this have been far rarer on VRE in my limited experience this year than in D.C.-area traffic over my previous 19 years of commuting by car and Metro.

Filed under: Human Interest and Travel
Comments: None

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