As a young man, I loved catching carp in the rivers and streams of West Virginia. I never kept the ugly, bony fish for food, but hooking them was great sport because they are fighters.

Apparently the enlightened folks in the Great Lakes region don’t see the Asian carp that way. One family established the Redneck Fishing Tournament “to get those carp out so we can take back the [Illiniois River]” because the carp eat ravenously and jump from the water when spooked by boats.

But fishing for the carp didn’t work. The population continued to rise, and officials fear that the invasive species will ruin sport and commercial fishing in the Great Lakes. That’s why frantic officials in Illinois spent $3 million to poison … one carp.

Your government at work. Next time, maybe I’ll lobby the state to pay this redneck $3 million in exchange for catching and killing two carp. Illinois will double the return on taxpayers’ investment, and I’ll be able to retire early. Sounds like a win-win scenario to me.