Guide To Good Wives (And Husbands)
Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:45 pm

An article titled “The Good Wife’s Guide,” purportedly from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly, has made its way into e-mail lore more than 50 years after it was written.

The piece offers tips to wives’ on how to satisfy their husbands, such as “have dinner ready,” “greet him with a warm smile” and “make the evening his.”

The graphic accompanying the list has been exposed as a fake, and the list itself is suspect, but it continues to inspire commentary. It even inspired a video spoof back in 2006.

The latest response, which assumes the list is real, offers a counterpoint “Good Husband’s Guide” that theoretically could have been written during the same era. The tips include:

  • Always make getting and keeping a full-time job with regular raises, benefits, bonuses and the potential for prestigious advancement your number one priority in life.
  • Be prepared to help with household chores when you get home. Let your wife relax or talk on the phone.
  • Do not bore your wife with stories of the troubles you faced at work today. Remember that you are lucky to have a job.
  • Listen avidly to your wife’s complaints. She leads a hectic life and needs to feel listened to and appreciated.
  • Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time.

The moral to the story: “The first list is outdated and laughable in its attitudes toward women; the second list, however, could be printed today since every single sentiment expressed in it is practiced, believed and upheld by modern wives and by the culture at large.”

Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ...
Comments: None

Paying The Debt $276.26 At A Time
Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 3:58 pm

The House of Representatives today released its equivalent of an expense report for the quarter that ran from July 1 through Sept. 30, and one of the first nuggets I noticed was this: Rep. Spencer Bachus donated a whopping $276.26 toward paying the national debt.

I don’t want to completely discount the Alabama Republican’s contribution. Considering he was only one of two lawmakers to support the worthwhile cause — Rep. Timothy Walz, D-Minn., donated $2,196 — Bachus gets an A for effort. But $276.26?

The national debt currently stands at more than $12 trillion and has been increasing at a rate of nearly $4 billion a day the past two-plus years. The average debt per citizen now stands at $39,141, and the debt load increases to $110,886 when only taxpayers are counted.

Assuming that Bachus donates the same amount every quarter, he will have no impact whatsoever toward the ultimate goal of balancing the federal budget. If Bachus convinced his other 534 colleagues in Congress to donate $276.26 every quarter, the total still would be a mere $591,196.40. At that rate, it would take more than 20 million years just to pay the principal on the debt.

Bachus’ gesture, like that of other Americans who donate money toward paying the debt, is purely symbolic.

Bachus would better serve his constituents and the country if he forsook spending earmarks, which rank among the largest budget items (nearly $18 billion) tracked on the debt clock. Taking that step also would be little more than symbolic in the big debt picture, but at least he would be sacrificing something real — millions of dollars intended to curry political favor at home.

For example, Citizens Against Government Waste reported in its 2009 “Pig Book” summary that Bachus secured nearly $2.4 million for six projects, including $142,000 to build a park welcome center, restroom facilities, and security office for the Alabama Historic Ironworks Commission. A search of the group’s database revealed that Bachus added nearly $14 million total to the federal budget for 21 projects.

The national debt will be a problem as long as the government refuses to restrain out-of-control “entitlement” programs like Medicare, and as long as politicians insist on creating new ones and bailing out flawed businesses. But if well-meaning lawmakers like Bachus truly want to make a difference, they will forget the penny-ante personal contributions toward the national debt and start cutting the fat they add to the budget every year.

Filed under: Government and News & Politics and People
Comments: None

Food Stamps Across America
Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:27 pm

The New York Times published an interactive map of food-stamp usage in the United States over the weekend.

I wasn’t surprised to see my home state of West Virginia covered in shades of blue, the color representing the higher percentages of food stamps per capita. But other parts of the country, including the part of Kentucky that borders West Virginia, have it much worse. Not surprisingly, the South appears to have the greatest percentage of people on welfare.

The bottom line from the Times: “The number of food-stamp recipients has climbed by about 10 million over the past two years, resulting in a program that now feeds 1 in 8 Americans and nearly 1 in 4 children.”

Filed under: Culture and Government and News & Politics
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Mugshot Abuse
Posted on 11.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:06 pm

Everyone is a victim these days, including, apparently, unenlightened rednecks who snort paint fumes. A West Virginian did just that back in 2005, and now he is a worldwide laughingstock thanks to the mugshot to the right.

If the guy sues, it will be an interesting case to watch. On the one hand, companies legally cannot profit from someone’s image without permission and/or compensation. On the other hand, mugshots are public record, which means people can publish them without permission, theoretically in whatever context they choose, whether for fun or profit.

The lesson for would-be criminals is obvious: The whole world is watching, so don’t do anything that will lead to viral online humiliation — like leaving the barber’s chair to buy crack.

Filed under: Human Interest and News & Politics and People
Comments: None

Kissin’ Cousins
Posted on 11.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:25 pm

As a child, I liked to torment one of my cousins by chasing her while singing the chorus to the Elvis Presley song “Kissin’ Cousins”: “We’ll kiss all night. I’ll squeeze her tight. But we’re kissin’ cousins ‘n that’s what makes it all right — All right, all right, all right.”

We were first cousins, rather than distant cousins like the boy and girl in the song, so we fit perfectly the stereotype people have of rednecks. But the truth is, I never knew any redneck cousins, in my home state of West Virginia or elsewhere, who married or had children out of wedlock. It was taboo, and besides, we were way too enlightened.

That was then, and this is now. Kissin’ cousins apparently are so not taboo in the 21st century that they merit coverage in The New York Times — and not in a let’s-make-fun-of-rednecks tone:

While many people have a story about a secret cousin crush or kiss, most Americans find the idea of cousins marrying and having children disturbing or even repulsive. The cartoonish image of hillbilly cousins giving birth to cross-eyed, deformed and mentally disabled children has endured in the national psyche. But even in the United States — one of the few countries in the world where such unions are illegal — marriage between first cousins may be slowly emerging from the shadows.

Although it is still a long way from being widely accepted, in recent years cousin marriage has been drawing increased attention, as researchers study the potential health risks to children of cousins. And the couples themselves have begun to connect online, largely through a Web site called, which bills itself as “the world’s primary resource for romantic relationships among cousins,” and is trying to build support for overturning laws prohibiting cousin marriage.

For the most part, scientists studying the phenomenon worldwide are finding evidence that the risk of birth defects and mortality is less significant than previously thought.

I was surprised to learn that more than 10 percent of marriages in the world are between people who are second cousins or closer. But it affirms what I wrote in the essay that inspired this blog: “Rednecks rule in this wacky world we occupy, even in an arena as distinguished as the United Nations.”

And we like to kiss our cousins, too.

Filed under: Culture and Family and Hatin' On Rednecks and Human Interest and Rednecks
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How To Hug Like A Pharisee
Posted on 11.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:02 pm

Years ago in a Bible class discussion about lust of the flesh, our teacher made a valid point about men and women who are not married to each other avoiding “alone time” together, especially if one is there to comfort the other during a difficult time. Satan knows how to use such seemingly innocent situations to his advantage by tempting Christians into fornication or adultery.

One of the students in the class took the teacher’s point to an illogical extreme. He also said women shouldn’t comfort other women while alone because they might be tempted into a homosexual encounter. It was the most bizarre comment I’ve ever heard in a Bible class.

Bizarre like the “Christian Side Hug,” an idea that is either a sick satire or a seriously misguided attempt at discouraging lust. In either case, the concept has spawned this viral rap video that is bringing reproach upon the name of Christ:

I thought I was a prude until I watched that video. I’m a proponent of “group dating” and other tactics designed to keep a safe distance between hormonal young Christians (because I remember what it was like to be one), but if a man cannot casually hug a woman without being sexually aroused, he probably shouldn’t be hugging at all.

Ridding the world of “frontal hugs” in order to deter spontaneous lust is over the top. More to the spiritual point, it’s Pharisaical.

The Pharisees, the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, loved to bind heavy burdens on their fellow Jews where God had imposed no such rules. Jesus repeatedly condemned them for building such hedges.

The Christian Side Hug is nothing more than a Pharisee Hug. If a man chooses to hug only from the side, that’s fine. But pushing the idea in ridiculous rap videos that preach about leaving room for the Holy Spirit in hugs is borderline blasphemous.

Filed under: Culture and Parenting and Religion and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

The Cumbersome IPod
Posted on 11.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:28 pm

You whipper-snappers who jog with iPods in tow don’t know squat when it comes to “cumbersome” technology, so let comedian Tim Hawkins enlighten you to life during the era of the Walkman and portable CD players:

Filed under: Entertainment and Just For Laughs and Music and Technology and Video
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The Politics Of Peer Review Exposed
Posted on 11.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:54 pm

Several months ago on Facebook, a high-school classmate engaged me in debate on the subject of global warming after I posted an article on the subject. He believes man is causing the globe to warm and supports draconian government regulation to address the problem; I think the science is bunk, and thus regulation based on that science is misguided.

As we debated the subject, it became clear that my “friend,” who makes a living in the scientific community, puts all of his faith in the peer-review process, whereby scientific researchers study each others’ data to make sure it is sound before publication in austere journals. Nothing this enlightened redneck said mattered because I’m not a scientist, and he had peer review on his side.

My former classmate sounded very much like actor Ed Begley Jr. this week on Fox News. The environmental activist, who has been known to fake his emotions, was mild-mannered while backstage but went ballistic when Stuart Varney interviewed him on air:

The fairness of peer review was suspect even when my classmate and I clashed online because the work of nearly all scientists critical of the theory of global warming had been banished from major journals for years. Regardless of their credentials, such researchers were ridiculed as “deniers” and “skeptics” whose work did not deserve to see the light of day.

“When you enter into a debate with any of them, they always stop cold when you ask an awkward question,” Vincent Gray, an expert reviewer for the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, wrote at Pajamas Media. “This applies even when you write to a government department or a member of Parliament. I and many of my friends have grown accustomed to our failure to publish and to lecture, and to the rejection of our comments submitted prior to every IPCC report.”

All of Gray’s 1,898 comments critical of the 2007 IPCC report were ignored. (Hat tip to Instapundit)

As of last week, peer review as it relates to global warming has been completely debunked thanks to the revelations in more than a decade’s worth of e-mails among the scientists who control the process. Even some scientists and environmental activists, the few who still have a shred of integrity left within them, appreciate the damage the e-mails have done to the reputation of peer review.

Filed under: Entertainment and News & Politics and People and The Redneck Report and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

Redneck Musical Moment Of The Decade
Posted on 11.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 9:33 pm

To hear Country Music Television tell it, the term “redneck” began losing its stigma a few years into the first decade of the 21st century, all thanks to a song:

“Redneck Woman,” Gretchen Wilson (2004) — Gretchen Wilson tapped into a vein of country music that no one else sensed was there. That vein was a growing sense of identity by an ignored and overlooked group of women country listeners. Redneck pride soared as a result, for women and then for men, as well. And gradually the term “redneck” itself began to shed the stigma that many people liked to attach to country fans — and to Southerners, in particular.

I disagree. Catchy music aside, “Redneck Woman” wasn’t exactly a boon to the reputation of rednecks. And if the term “redneck” had begun losing its stigma as a result of Wilson’s work in 2004, I wouldn’t have launched this blog in 2008.

We rednecks are maligned as much now as ever, perhaps even more since the rise of Sarah Palin and the angry mob across America.

Filed under: Hatin' On Rednecks and Music and People and Redneck Music and Rednecks
Comments: None

Happy Thanksgiving From PETA
Posted on 11.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 4:39 pm

What Melissa said: “The ad wraps up the left’s disgust with America. Crappy tradition, crappy white family, crappy Thanksgiving, hypocritical Christians and, of course, animal hatred. Basically, the ad captures everything they hate about America in one ad.”

I can’t wait to scarf down some leftover turkey inside one of Mom’s homemade rolls for a snack this evening. I’ll enjoy it even more after watching that ad. And for entertainment, maybe I’ll watch MSNBC’s lame attempt to embarrass enlightened redneck Sarah Palin during her appearance at a turkey farm last year.

Filed under: Advertising and Culture and Family and Food and Holidays and Video
Comments: None

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