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Posted on 08.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:25 pm
A deep desire to embrace hypocrisy often seems to be a job requirement for service in Congress, but Rep. Carol Shea-Porter, D-N.H., has it down to an art form. She is the queen of hypocrites. Now Hampshire captures her transformation nicely in this sentence and the video below it:
(Hat tip to Ed Morrissey at Hot Air) Filed under: Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Media and News & Politics and People and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:02 pm
I have been a loyal Comcast customer for years. Their cable and Internet services have been the most reliable in our city, and I waited eagerly for Comcast to offer digital phone service so I could sign up for the “triple play” and save money. That worked well for a couple of years, but my impression of the company changed dramatically after a customer-service nightmare in March 2008 that was so horrific I endured the hassle of filing a complaint with the FCC. My tolerance for the incompetence of Comcast reached the breaking point today. Here’s what happened: I noticed last night that all of the lights on our modem except the one for the phone line were blinking. I knew that spelled trouble, but I was surprised to find both the cable and Internet service working and the phone line completely dead. I reset the modem. That didn’t work, so I decided to sleep on it, assuming the problem was outside our home and Comcast was working on it. No such luck. The line was still dead this morning, so I called Comcast on my cell phone to report the problem. The operator tried a couple of remote resets, but that didn’t work. She said Comcast would send a technician. My choices: Be available from 9 a.m. until 9 p.m. on Sunday, or wait until Wednesday or later. Waiting 12 hours is ridiculous on any day; it’s unthinkable on a Sunday because we worship God in the morning and again in the evening. Filed under: Business and Human Interest and Media Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:24 pm
It’s time for another round of inspired musical comedy from Tim Hawkins, and this time his government is the spendthrift government. His new music video, sung to the tune of “The Candy Man,” starts with this great line and gets better as it goes: “Hey everybody, gather ’round. I’m here to give ya anything ya like. You want free college, energy, mortgages? Whatever you like. You have come to the right place.” Apparently “The Candy Man” is the perfect tune for mocking the government. Earlier this year, it inspired comedian Greg Morton to write another satire, “Obama Man.” Filed under: Government and Just For Laughs and Music and News & Politics and People and Video Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:32 pm
President Obama insists that his health-care plan will not include “death panels” that advise the elderly when it’s time for bureaucrats to kick their bucket into the grave. But this poster, which I received as White House spam via e-mail after someone flagged one of my e-mails, says otherwise:
[Note to those who are satirically challenged: All of this is just a joke. There is no "Gold For Grandpa" program; I didn't receive the poster via e-mail from the White House; and my e-mail activities have never been flagged to the president's henchmen -- so far as I know.] Filed under: Family and Government and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and People Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:23 pm
My children will want me to build one of these contraptions in our backyard if they see the picture and hear the story behind it.
I gotta admit, I’m tempted to build one just like it. I remember how much fun I had as a kid with Slip ‘N Slides, cheap pools and other water fun in our backyard. Our children already have a tree house and slide similar to the one in the picture. All we need is the pool and redneck supplies to prop it up. The kids would have a blast. Filed under: Family and Rednecks and Sports Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:22 pm
Denver Post columnist David Harsanyi had a flash of genius this week as he imagined a color-coded system that would warn Americans about the threats emanating from Washington. It’s a fitting analogy because politicians and bureaucrats terrorize the nation every time they put legislative or regulatory pen to paper. Here’s the “Danny’s Notes” version of Harsanyi’s warning system:
Read the whole thing for the context and the conclusion of it all. Filed under: Government and News & Politics Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:52 pm
Rednecks don’t go to a farm for vacation; they work the farm year round. So who goes to a farm for a vacation — and who runs those farms? Elitists who want to convert the world to their doctrine of worshiping all things “natural.” And who writes celebratory stories about them? The elitist New York Times:
If you want a true taste of farm life, do a public service and talk a farmer into letting you work long, hard hours for him for a summer. It doesn’t get any more “organic” than that. That said, I do love to see the free market at work so successfully. One farm now brings in seven times what the owner makes selling lamb and turkey. Just goes to show that even some elitists have a little redneck ingenuity in them. Filed under: Food and Human Interest Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:51 pm
An enlightened redneck sees the future and embraces it — and social media is the future. But don’t believe me; watch this video and absorb the facts. I’ve spent the last seven years of my professional life trying to convince people in the media, political and commercial worlds that it makes no sense to mock blogs or Twitter or whatever new technology comes along because you hate it. You don’t have to love it, but you better learn how to use it or you’re going to lose the edge in your field, whatever field that is. That’s true for religion, too. Christians understandably are wary of the Internet because every new online tool opens a fertile field where Satan can and will sow corruption. But Christians can and should sow the seed, the Word of God, in those same fields and trust God to give the increase. Fearing, ridiculing and shunning new technologies is an utter waste of any Bible-loving redneck’s time. That’s especially true with social media. It is the future of communication. Learn how to use it for good and how to resist the Devil’s angels when they try to use it against you for evil. Filed under: Culture and Media and Religion and Technology and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
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Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:02 pm
When the government decided to redistribute up to $4,500 of taxpayers’ wealth per pop to people who drive old cars, the owners of the “clunkers” jumped at the chance to get their cut. And why not? It’s free money. Not so fast. You suckers should know by now that what one government giveth, another government taketh away. Uncle Sam agreed to give your dealer cash so you could get that big discount on your car, but Aunt Virginia is going to take her cut from you by taxing that cash discount as income. And if your dealer doesn’t get you all of the proper paperwork in time, you’ll be paying interest and penalties, too. Enjoy the ride. [Cross-posted at The Enlightened Redneck] Filed under: Government and News & Politics Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:38 pm
Years ago, I engaged a liberal newsroom colleague of mine in a debate about gun rights and the Second Amendment. The debate was fairly unremarkable until the conversation turned to what the Constitution actually says, as opposed to what liberals want to make it mean. That’s when my colleague — we’ll call him Bob, ’cause that’s his name — made a statement that I remember word for word to this day: “The Constitution is a tired, old document sorely in need of a rewrite.” I remember Bob’s words so well because I was horrified by them. Bob is more interested in politics and government than journalism, and I imagine he harbors ambitions of holding political office, so I immediately interjected, “You can never run for office now because the minute you do, I’ll reveal to everyone exactly what you think of the Constitution.” He’s not alone. Most liberals view the Constitution with contempt when it interferes with their bad ideas about good governance. Rep. Carol Shea-Porter, D-N.H., is one of those liberals. A radio caller asked her today whether the Constitution gives the federal government the authority to pass the kind of health-care plan liberals want to mandate. Her response: “The Constitution did not cover everything.” Uh, yes it did. The Club For Growth delivered a much-needed civics lesson to Shea-Porter: “[T]hings not covered in the Constitution are prohibited, not available. You know, it’s that whole ‘enumerated powers’ thing. She should brush up on the document she swore to defend.” Filed under: Government and History and News & Politics and People Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:19 pm
Yesterday, I was surprised to learn that rednecks in Wisconsin drive junk cars off a cliff for fun. Today, I’m even more surprised to learn that rednecks in the Sierra Mountains of California have their own car show.
Get used to it, elitist America. We rednecks own this country. We’re everywhere — and we know how to have a good time. I sure wish I had the time and money to hit all the celebrations of redneckedness around the country. Filed under: Entertainment and Rednecks Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:16 pm
I love a good coin story, and this is the best one I’ve read in a while:
That news account reminded me of my favorite coin story of all time. It’s my favorite because it involved friends of ours. Our friends regularly frequented the “Too Good To Be Trash” facility at our local dump, where people took old or broken items they didn’t want anymore but that other people might be willing to whip back into usable shape. Our friends scored some great finds over the years, including a grandfather clock that needed a minor repair but was otherwise in fantastic shape. One day while our friend was scouring the non-trashy goods on the grounds with her daughter, they caught a glimpse of something shiny on the pavement. At first glance, they thought it was just toy money, but a closer inspection made them think it was real gold. And indeed it was. I don’t recall the denomination or the exact year, but it was a U.S. gold coin from the 1800s. It wasn’t extremely valuable (maybe $150), but it was absolutely free — and a great piece of history. Even better, it’s now a family heirloom with a great story behind it. Filed under: Coin Collecting and Friends and History and Human Interest Comments: None |
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Posted on 08.25.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:48 pm
Back in the 1980s, when I was young and foolish enough to find him entertaining, David Letterman used to drop fruits, vegetables, canned foods and anything else he could think of from a building several stories high just to see how they exploded when they hit the concrete. I loved those segments. I don’t recall whether Letterman’s antics inspired it or not, but West Virginia University started an annual pumpkin drop in 1989 while I was a student there. The goal of the engineering school’s contest is the opposite — to keep the pumpkins from shattering on impact and as close to the target as possible — but most of the pumpkins (108 out of 130 last year) explode when they land. I thought of Letterman and my alma mater today as I watched this video of a bunch of ingenious rednecks driving remote-controlled cars off a cliff just for the fun of it. The biggest surprise to me was that the event happened in Wisconsin. It sounded like a party a good ol’ boy down South would concoct. But the Wisconsin boys showed they aren’t enlightened rednecks when they ended the day by taking a “redneck bow” — they mooned the spectators. Filed under: Entertainment and Just For Laughs and Rednecks and Video and West Virginia Comments: 3 Comments |
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Posted on 08.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:56 pm
Country singer Billy Carrington has a hit song whose lyrics include the phrase “God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.” I’d like to amend that statement with a dose of enlightenment: God is great, beer is crud, and rednecks would be a lot less crazy if they quit drinking booze. In case it isn’t obvious by now, this enlightened redneck is a teetotaler. I know it’s hard to believe. If there’s one thing people associate with rednecks, it’s liquor — from the hard stuff (Jack Daniels) to the soft stuff (pick a beer) to the illegal, homemade stuff (moonshine). But it’s all bad news, if you ask me. On second thought, don’t ask me. Just listen to the lyrics of Brad Paisley’s hit song “Alcohol,” which perfectly captures the idiocy that ensues after alcohol consumption. Here are some of Paisley’s pearls of wisdom:
I loved the song when it was released on the radio. Then I saw the video and realized that despite the honesty of the lyrics, Paisley intended the song as a celebration of alcohol-induced foolishness. That’s too bad because rednecks really know how to have a good time without help from Jim Beam and the rest of the Inebriation Clan. But enlightened rednecks like me — I’ve lived 42 years on this planet without once drinking for business or pleasure — don’t get to share in those good times because they aren’t family-friendly venues. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Culture and Music and People and Redneck Music and Rednecks and West Virginia Comments: 3 Comments |
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Posted on 08.24.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:36 pm
A friend in Texas forwarded this nugget of redneck wisdom about the ongoing health-care debate:
Now you know why all those “angry mobs” are asking their congressmen the questions they don’t want to hear — and why the lily-livered lawmakers who are determined to socialize American medicine have resorted to teleconferences instead of face-to-face town halls. Filed under: Government and News & Politics Comments: None |
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