Carol Shea-Porter, Queen Hypocrite
Posted on 08.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:25 pm

A deep desire to embrace hypocrisy often seems to be a job requirement for service in Congress, but Rep. Carol Shea-Porter, D-N.H., has it down to an art form. She is the queen of hypocrites.

Now Hampshire captures her transformation nicely in this sentence and the video below it:

In four short years, Carol Shea-Porter has evolved from a rabble-rousing, town-hall-disrupting, anti-war activist who once had to be forcibly removed from a President George Bush event in Portsmouth to a member of Congress who instructed armed security guards to remove a frustrated voter from her own town-hall event in Manchester on Saturday.

(Hat tip to Ed Morrissey at Hot Air)

Filed under: Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Media and News & Politics and People and Video
Comments: None

Bye-Bye Comcast
Posted on 08.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:02 pm

I have been a loyal Comcast customer for years. Their cable and Internet services have been the most reliable in our city, and I waited eagerly for Comcast to offer digital phone service so I could sign up for the “triple play” and save money.

That worked well for a couple of years, but my impression of the company changed dramatically after a customer-service nightmare in March 2008 that was so horrific I endured the hassle of filing a complaint with the FCC. My tolerance for the incompetence of Comcast reached the breaking point today.

Here’s what happened: I noticed last night that all of the lights on our modem except the one for the phone line were blinking. I knew that spelled trouble, but I was surprised to find both the cable and Internet service working and the phone line completely dead.

I reset the modem. That didn’t work, so I decided to sleep on it, assuming the problem was outside our home and Comcast was working on it. No such luck. The line was still dead this morning, so I called Comcast on my cell phone to report the problem.

The operator tried a couple of remote resets, but that didn’t work. She said Comcast would send a technician. My choices: Be available from 9 a.m. until 9 p.m. on Sunday, or wait until Wednesday or later. Waiting 12 hours is ridiculous on any day; it’s unthinkable on a Sunday because we worship God in the morning and again in the evening.

Filed under: Business and Human Interest and Media
Comments: None

Who’s Your Candy Man? Uncle Sam
Posted on 08.29.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:24 pm

It’s time for another round of inspired musical comedy from Tim Hawkins, and this time his government is the spendthrift government.

His new music video, sung to the tune of “The Candy Man,” starts with this great line and gets better as it goes: “Hey everybody, gather ’round. I’m here to give ya anything ya like. You want free college, energy, mortgages? Whatever you like. You have come to the right place.”

Apparently “The Candy Man” is the perfect tune for mocking the government. Earlier this year, it inspired comedian Greg Morton to write another satire, “Obama Man.”

Filed under: Government and Just For Laughs and Music and News & Politics and People and Video
Comments: None

The ‘Gold For Grandpa’ Program
Posted on 08.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:32 pm

President Obama insists that his health-care plan will not include “death panels” that advise the elderly when it’s time for bureaucrats to kick their bucket into the grave. But this poster, which I received as White House spam via e-mail after someone flagged one of my e-mails, says otherwise:

[Note to those who are satirically challenged: All of this is just a joke. There is no "Gold For Grandpa" program; I didn't receive the poster via e-mail from the White House; and my e-mail activities have never been flagged to the president's henchmen -- so far as I know.]

Filed under: Family and Government and Just For Laughs and News & Politics and People
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Redneck Water Park
Posted on 08.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 12:23 pm

My children will want me to build one of these contraptions in our backyard if they see the picture and hear the story behind it.

The end of the slide is propped up on an ice chest (filled with water) and a stack of boards from an old IKEA shelf. Usually the pool is filled with bobbing squirt guns and plastic containers, like there was a flood at the Dollar Store. The other, slightly downhill side of the pool is reinforced with two big plastic chairs and a few bags of playground sand. It is the most redneck thing possible.

I gotta admit, I’m tempted to build one just like it. I remember how much fun I had as a kid with Slip ‘N Slides, cheap pools and other water fun in our backyard.

Our children already have a tree house and slide similar to the one in the picture. All we need is the pool and redneck supplies to prop it up. The kids would have a blast.

Filed under: Family and Rednecks and Sports
Comments: 2 Comments

Warning: Politicians At Work
Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:22 pm

Denver Post columnist David Harsanyi had a flash of genius this week as he imagined a color-coded system that would warn Americans about the threats emanating from Washington. It’s a fitting analogy because politicians and bureaucrats terrorize the nation every time they put legislative or regulatory pen to paper.

Here’s the “Danny’s Notes” version of Harsanyi’s warning system:

  • Code Green: low risk of economic attack. Think August recess, when Washington is a relative ghost town.
  • Code Blue: general risk. Listen for the phrase “something must be done.”
  • Code Yellow: significant threat. The sausage-making begins in Congress, and the president takes up camp in his bully pulpit.
  • Code Orange: high risk. Read the bill? Before we vote? Hah! Stop protesting, you redneck Nazis!
  • Code Red: severe risk. “What’s another $2 trillion of debt among family?” crazy Uncle Sam says.
  • Code Pink: doom. Obama to America — “I won.”

Read the whole thing for the context and the conclusion of it all.

Filed under: Government and News & Politics
Comments: None

Farming Is Not A Vacation
Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:52 pm

Rednecks don’t go to a farm for vacation; they work the farm year round. So who goes to a farm for a vacation — and who runs those farms? Elitists who want to convert the world to their doctrine of worshiping all things “natural.”

And who writes celebratory stories about them? The elitist New York Times:

Sleeping and eating on a farm is a common way to vacation in Europe, where the ties to farming are strong and motels are few. It’s rare but not unheard of in the United States. Stony Creek Farm is part of a new way to get hay in your hair. Call it farm stay 2.0.

The owners are often young, recent converts to farming, with few acres and strongly held beliefs: animals should be raised on pasture, vegetables should be grown without chemicals, and America needs to be re-educated about food.

They cater to people looking for a connection to their food that goes beyond a stroll through the local farmers’ market. Their customers, like me, want to get manure on their Vans.

If you want a true taste of farm life, do a public service and talk a farmer into letting you work long, hard hours for him for a summer. It doesn’t get any more “organic” than that.

That said, I do love to see the free market at work so successfully. One farm now brings in seven times what the owner makes selling lamb and turkey. Just goes to show that even some elitists have a little redneck ingenuity in them.

Filed under: Food and Human Interest
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The Social Media Gospel
Posted on 08.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:51 pm

An enlightened redneck sees the future and embraces it — and social media is the future. But don’t believe me; watch this video and absorb the facts.

I’ve spent the last seven years of my professional life trying to convince people in the media, political and commercial worlds that it makes no sense to mock blogs or Twitter or whatever new technology comes along because you hate it. You don’t have to love it, but you better learn how to use it or you’re going to lose the edge in your field, whatever field that is.

That’s true for religion, too. Christians understandably are wary of the Internet because every new online tool opens a fertile field where Satan can and will sow corruption. But Christians can and should sow the seed, the Word of God, in those same fields and trust God to give the increase.

Fearing, ridiculing and shunning new technologies is an utter waste of any Bible-loving redneck’s time. That’s especially true with social media. It is the future of communication. Learn how to use it for good and how to resist the Devil’s angels when they try to use it against you for evil.

Filed under: Culture and Media and Religion and Technology and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

Cash In A Clunker, Pay The Tax Piper
Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 11:02 pm

When the government decided to redistribute up to $4,500 of taxpayers’ wealth per pop to people who drive old cars, the owners of the “clunkers” jumped at the chance to get their cut. And why not? It’s free money.

Not so fast. You suckers should know by now that what one government giveth, another government taketh away.

Uncle Sam agreed to give your dealer cash so you could get that big discount on your car, but Aunt Virginia is going to take her cut from you by taxing that cash discount as income. And if your dealer doesn’t get you all of the proper paperwork in time, you’ll be paying interest and penalties, too.

Enjoy the ride.

[Cross-posted at The Enlightened Redneck]

Filed under: Government and News & Politics
Comments: None

The Constitution: A Tired, Old Document?
Posted on 08.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:38 pm

Years ago, I engaged a liberal newsroom colleague of mine in a debate about gun rights and the Second Amendment. The debate was fairly unremarkable until the conversation turned to what the Constitution actually says, as opposed to what liberals want to make it mean.

That’s when my colleague — we’ll call him Bob, ’cause that’s his name — made a statement that I remember word for word to this day: “The Constitution is a tired, old document sorely in need of a rewrite.” I remember Bob’s words so well because I was horrified by them.

Bob is more interested in politics and government than journalism, and I imagine he harbors ambitions of holding political office, so I immediately interjected, “You can never run for office now because the minute you do, I’ll reveal to everyone exactly what you think of the Constitution.”

He’s not alone. Most liberals view the Constitution with contempt when it interferes with their bad ideas about good governance.

Rep. Carol Shea-Porter, D-N.H., is one of those liberals. A radio caller asked her today whether the Constitution gives the federal government the authority to pass the kind of health-care plan liberals want to mandate. Her response: “The Constitution did not cover everything.”

Uh, yes it did. The Club For Growth delivered a much-needed civics lesson to Shea-Porter: “[T]hings not covered in the Constitution are prohibited, not available. You know, it’s that whole ‘enumerated powers’ thing. She should brush up on the document she swore to defend.”

Filed under: Government and History and News & Politics and People
Comments: None

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