While running errands today, I had the displeasure of seeing the two extremes of bad parenting in action — parents who let their children run wild and those whose self-discipline in how they discipline the kids is so out of control that they are abusive.

My first exposure was to completely undisciplined children, in the library of all places.

One boy about age 5 or 6 didn’t want to leave, so he pitched a fit at the checkout line. When his older sister tried to steer the boy toward the door, he dropped to his knees and began moaning. His mother eventually came to help but didn’t scold the child at all.

She grabbed one of the boy’s hands, and his sister took the other. He let his body go limp. They carried him to the front lobby by his outstretched arms, at risk of dislocating a shoulder.

I checked out a few minutes later and had to weave around a young boy and girl who were cackling and playing chase — remember, this happened in a library — as their parents watched. The boy eventually banged into me, and all the father mustered in response was, “Joey, you ran into that man.” He didn’t demand an apology or a change in behavior.

Moments later, his daughter ran into me. At that point, the mother threatened a spanking, but their children clearly knew it was an idle threat. They were out of control because their parents choose not to control them.

Later in the evening, I headed to Costco to restock on printer ink cartridges. As I enjoyed a tasty slice of Costco pizza for dinner after my purchase, I saw the opposite extreme in parenting.

An agitated mother reached her breaking point and lashed out, literally, at her daughter, who was about 8. The mother swung her open hand toward the daughter’s face.

I hate to see children resisting discipline from their parents, but I was glad the girl raised her arm to block the swat. The mother swung her hand hard enough to have done some permanent damage if she had hit her daughter’s face or ear.

For the rest of the meal, the daughter pouted at a different table. Mom said nary a word about that continued misbehavior, perhaps because she felt bad for losing her cool and nearly engaging in physical abuse.

Neither of the extremes I witnessed tonight will produce well-behaved children.

Children definitely need parents who will correct them in public, even to the point of forcing them to apologize to strangers, and it’s a mistake for us parents to threaten punishment if you we don’t then impose it. But we also must stay calm as we teach our children proper decorum. We certainly can’t teach it effectively if we don’t practice it ourselves.