How do you cope with grief and bad times if you’re a redneck man? Whatever you do, don’t confide in other redneck men because they’ll just tease you about being a sissy.

Here’s a helpful guide for those days of “Redneck Lamentations“:

Stage 1: “It Ain’t Happening”
Stage 2: “I’m Going To Burn Someone’s House Down”
Stage 3: “Put Another Quarter in the Jukebox”
Step 4: “Put Your Head in a Vise”
Stage 5: “Blame Someone Else”

Read the article in the Shreveport Times, the home newspaper of this enlightened redneck’s wife, for the details.