A ‘Redneck Woman’ On Capitol Hill
Posted on 04.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:57 pm

Although I like the concept behind Gretchen Wilson’s hit anthem “Redneck Woman” and the music, I don’t care for many of the lyrics.

The song is full of curse words and promotes some of the worst stereotypes about rednecks. That’s why I’ve never embedded the video on this blog even though it’s a perfect fit in many ways.

But I do think it’s pretty cool that Wilson has been invited to testify to Congress. I worked as a redneck journalist on Capitol Hill almost every day for my first four years in Washington, so I’m always happy to see another redneck getting some time up there.

“She’s going to get about five minutes to sum up why adult education and family literacy are so vital,” Country Music Television reported. “And she should know. Wilson received her GED at age 34 after dropping out of high school when she was a teenager.”

Filed under: Government and Human Interest and Music and News & Politics and People and Redneck Music
Comments: 1 Comment

Obama Man
Posted on 04.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:17 pm

Comedian Greg Morton performs his “Obama Man” satire, sung to the tune of “The Candy Man,” in an appearance on “The Bob & Tom Show.”

Here’s the introductory rap: “Alright everybody. AIG, Bank of America, Citigroup, First National, Lone Star. Whaddya want, one, two, $300 billion? Come on over! I’m your candy man.” See all of the lyrics in the extended entry.


Filed under: Business and Government and Human Interest and Just For Laughs and Music and News & Politics and People and Video
Comments: 1 Comment

Swine Flu Mania Hits Our Office
Posted on 04.30.09 by Danny Glover @ 5:43 pm

Here’s a scary statement of fact: Building management for our office is taking its cues about swine flu from the “ongoing media coverage.”

Ongoing sensationalism is more like it. The only thing worse would be if the managers heeded the hysterical of so-called leaders like, say, Vice President Joe Biden.

At any rate, here’s the memo circulated today:

At this time, we would like to inform you of our [swine flu] preparations, including:

  • Increasing refill stock for hand soap and paper towels for common area restrooms;
  • Checking with contractors to verify that routine cleaning procedures are in place and that stepped-up cleaning services are ready;
  • Confirming that contractors have briefed their employees;
  • Confirming that contractors have preparations for absenteeism.

We are subscribed to local alert systems.

All tenants are encouraged to stay informed and follow appropriate precautions as recommended by the CDC. Each business may also consider reviewing its contingency plans. At a minimum, employees should be advised to thoroughly wash their hands on a regular basis, avoid touching hands to face and to cover coughs or sneezes with a tissue. Some tenants are also providing hand sanitizer for employees and keeping some face masks in stock. …

In case of a confirmed swine flu diagnosis in your office, please notify building services as soon as possible.

I’m just thankful they called it “swine flu” instead of using the World Health Organization’s new piggishly correct terminology, “H1N1 Influenza A.”

I’m also glad that I am blessed to be able to work from home about half the time and that our children are home-schooled. While the talk of a pandemic at this point is overblown, it’s hard not to be concerned precisely because the government and the media are hyping the potential threat.

Filed under: Business and Government and Home Schooling and Media and News & Politics
Comments: 1 Comment

‘Oh, I’m In Love With Chick-Fil-A’
Posted on 04.28.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:54 pm

I had a Chick-fil-A sandwich and some nuggets at the conservative bloggers’ briefing in Washington today. Chick-fil-A is standard fare at the weekly Heritage Foundation event and a favorite in the Glover household. Today’s lunch reminded me of this skit by my favorite “clean” comedian, Tim Hawkins:

Filed under: Food and Just For Laughs and People and Redneck Humor and Video
Comments: None

Live Redneck Or Die
Posted on 04.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 8:20 pm

Here’s an excerpt from a tea party attendee and Concord Monitor reader in New Hampshire, whose state motto is “Live Free Or Die“:

Somehow, because I participated in this tea party, I’ve become fodder for the hostility of Obama supporters. Their dismissive remarks suggest that I have neurological problems comparable to Frankenstein, know squat about American history and have had a predisposition since birth to become a pathological, anti-intellectual, hate-mongering, stupid, redneck, racist nut job.

Apparently, it was not my fault that I was motivated to tan my bald spot in Concord for an hour. I did not know I was being brainwashed by the likes of Glen Beck and Michael Graham to protest against a government experimenting with social engineering while juggling econocide.

As a result, the Department of Homeland Security has labeled me a possible “radical extremist” because I go to church a couple of times a year, give up my seat on buses for the elderly, hold doors open for strangers, send care packages to our troops, and don’t believe in abortion or illegal immigration.

Mr. Drummond should join the “Save The Redneck” movement.

Filed under: Government and Hatin' On Rednecks and Media and News & Politics and Rednecks
Comments: None

President Obama’s 1/4-Cent Budget Cut
Posted on 04.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:11 pm

President Obama made a big media show as a fiscal leader a week ago with an admonition to his Cabinet to cut $100 million from the federal budget.

Sounds like a lot of money, right? It’s not. This video puts the plan in perspective:

One-fourth of a cent cut from a mountain of pennies — that’s math an enlightened redneck can understand. For more perspective, take a look at what $1 trillion looks like, which is only slightly less than what the Democratic-led Congress has spent at Obama’s behest or with his consent since he took office. Multiply it by 3.6 and you have the amount Obama has budgeted for fiscal 2010.

No wonder so many bean counters and policy experts are laughing at the president.

Filed under: Coin Collecting and Government and Human Interest and News & Politics and Video
Comments: 3 Comments

Let There Be Incandescent Light!
Posted on 04.27.09 by Danny Glover @ 6:06 pm

Congress makes bad decisions almost every day, but one of its worst in recent times came back in December 2007. Egged on by global warming hysteria, lawmakers included in an energy bill language to ban incandescent light bulbs from the U.S. market beginning in 2012.

The media loved the story and did their part to hype CFLs, the abbreviation for compact florescent light bulbs, as an energy-saving alternative. But predictably, they failed to report the environmental downside to CFLs. It reminded me of the successful campaign to ban Styrofoam Big Mac boxes in the 1980s.

Now experts are starting to challenge the conventional wisdom about the value of CFLs and the merits of a ban on incandescent light:

The quality of light from the compact fluorescent is about the worst of the major light sources manufactured today. And, aside from that, they don’t say anything about the problems of disposing of these lamps, nor do they talk about the additional power that it costs to manufacture these lamps. When you look at how they work, the entire process they are suggesting is filled with errors. And it’s misleading.

That is the kind of information Congress should have considered before moving to ban incandescent light bulbs, yet the concerns about CFLs are only now getting into the public square. Apparently the bulbs make some pets wacko, too.

Science aside, we’ve tried to be good citizens in our home. We started buying CFLs not because the law will require it but because we believed the sales pitch that the bulbs last longer and save not only energy but money. We enlightened rednecks are all about pinching pennies and doing what we can to protect the environment.

But we have been utterly disappointed. CFLs in action have not lived up to the hype. The light bulbs cost significantly more than incandescent bulbs, and the odds of them lasting as long as promised are 50-50 at best. We’ve had some burn out within a month or two. We are not alone.

Then we heard about the mercury in CFLs and the dangers that can pose. We have three young children in the home. The risks may be minimal, but they aren’t worth taking.

Ideally, Congress would revisit the debate over light bulbs and realize that it acted hastily in imposing a ban, but that doesn’t seem likely. The Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act went nowhere when Democrats controlled only Congress. Now they control the White House, too.

So now I’m on a new mission to buy as many incandescent bulbs as I can. I’ll be buying them every chance I get between now and the complete ban in 2014 to build a stockpile that will last even longer.

Maybe by then, science will have found a more energy-efficient and environmentally friendly solution to lighting our world.

Filed under: Business and Government and Human Interest and Media and News & Politics and Pets
Comments: 1 Comment

West Virginia: The Wireless Pioneer
Posted on 04.26.09 by Danny Glover @ 2:54 pm

My Dad forwarded this joke to me a while back and I forgot to post it. I don’t have an original source for the joke, but if someone claims it, I’ll gladly credit him or her:

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of a copper-wire system dating back 100 years, and they came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, California scientists dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the Los Angeles Times newspaper read: “California archaeologists have found traces of a 200-year-old copper-wire system and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, The Redneck Rebel Gazette in West Virginia reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in a corn field, Bubba Ray Johnson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, West Virginia had already gone wireless.”

Filed under: Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor and Technology and West Virginia
Comments: None

Redneck Rants (Week Of April 19)
Posted on 04.25.09 by Danny Glover @ 10:28 am

Outrage and insights in a 140 characters or less (most of the time). This is a weekly recap of topics that capture my fancy. To get your fill of my rants on a daily basis, follow The Enlightened Redneck on Twitter.

  • Divorce should carry the stigma it once did. And Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani are moral hypocrites if not political ones.
  • Matt Drudge as a paragon of media ethics? Sorry, I’m not buyin’ that one. He just likes privacy. It’s that simple.
  • Has Antonin Scalilia lost his marbles? Does he really think it’s “reasonable” to strip search school girls?
  • A reporter who took a literal bullet at work just took a figurative one from his bosses — a layoff. What more proof to you need that loyalty is a one-way street in today’s workforce. Employers demand it but too rarely give it back.
  • Who owns the rain? You probably won’t be surprised to hear that the government thinks it does.
  • Fat folks may be making the globe warmer. Let’s just say I’m doing my part. I’m not happy about it, mind you. I’m just sayin’.
  • Why socialism will fail — a classroom experiment to prove a point to all of the socialist wannabes.
  • Blogger James Joyner thinks too many “ranting loons” are “the voice of conservatism.” “Loons” is too strong, but I agree. That said, I have found myself enjoying Glenn Beck’s show occasionally. Sometimes ranting is in order — hence this feature.
  • Bible believers are “rigorously normal.” “You are the light of the world” in action (Matt. 5:14-16).
  • Ramps is special — it’s your springtime tonic.” Spoken like a true redneck. Can’t say I’ve tried them, though.

Filed under: Redneck Rants
Comments: None

Save The Redneck: It’s A Movement!
Posted on 04.23.09 by Danny Glover @ 7:58 pm

Thanks to the power of Google news alerts, a press release about a grassroots group called Save the Redneck found its way to my e-mail box.

Like me, the group is irked at elitist actress Janeane Garofalo for her bigoted rant about rednecks at last week’s anti-tax “tea parties.” Save the Redneck wants an apology from her.

“We are proud of our redneck culture and do not want to see it stereotyped or attacked. We are striving to bring awareness to, and change, this unacceptable behavior,” group co-founder Crit Callebs said. “Our aim is to set the record straight and celebrate everything positive about being a redneck.”

I won’t hold my breath for Garofalo to apologize, but I’m glad to see others are fighting the good redneck fight. I’m part of a movement and didn’t even know it!

Filed under: Culture and Entertainment and Fishing and Hatin' On Rednecks and History and Human Interest and Hunting & Guns and News & Politics and People and Rednecks and Spotlight
Comments: 14 Comments

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