|
Posted on 12.26.08 by Danny Glover @ 1:29 pm
An enlightened redneck is a Good Samaritan. Thanks to the wonder of Google alerts, I found a great story about an Arkansas redneck transplanted into Canada who showed a busload of bystanders what it means to be a redneck.
When the man saw a group of young men who had watched as he did his good deed, he said, “What we need in this here city is a few more rednecks.” The story was told by a woman who wrote a letter to the editor of the Vancouver Providence. “He is a well-educated, well-spoken redneck, and while he may be a little rough around the edges, you have to admit, society could stand to learn a little from his heart,” Erin Sparks wrote. I’d say the man’s “rough edges” are part and parcel of his heart. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Culture Comments: 2 Comments |
|
Posted on 12.25.08 by Danny Glover @ 10:51 pm
An enlightened redneck has children who know a good gag gift when they see one. I found this gem of a stocking stuffer among my gifts this Christmas morning.
Push down on the back end of the reindeer and it deposits a scat-colored jellybean. Eat at your own risk. (I tried one, and they taste disgusting, but my kids like ‘em.) The gift was all the more hysterical because my two sweet daughters picked it. My mother-in-law gave me a similar gift for Christmas several years ago. It was a bear-shaped carving that pooped M&Ms when you raised its tail. My wife talked me into parting with that prized possession at last year’s “white elephant” gift exchange. It was one of the hits of the party. Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Family and Holidays and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: 1 Comment |
|
Posted on 12.25.08 by Danny Glover @ 6:15 pm
With one huge exception, I love being home for the holidays. This singing reindeer is the exception: My children and young nephews and nieces get their kicks by chasing me around the house and playing this rendition of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” over and over and over again. A couple of years ago, the torture got so bad that I hid the reindeer from everyone, including my parents. No one found it until well after the New Year. But that only encouraged the kids to make an even bigger game of annoying me with the song. I figured I’d do my part to get under the skin of everyone on the World Wide Web by posting a video of the redneck reindeer this year. Merry Christmas! Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
|
Posted on 12.24.08 by Danny Glover @ 11:58 pm
Years ago, I bought the book “Redneck Night Before Christmas” for Grandpa Tumblebug, who loved gag gifts and loved to laugh. I read the book to my children and one of my nephews this Christmas Eve. Enjoy the performance, and remember, all my enlightened redneck friends, it’s just a joke. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.24.08 by Danny Glover @ 2:54 pm
Portfolio.com tried to rewrite the time-honored moral of the Christmas classic “It’s A Wonderful Life” with an essay that pegs the movie’s hero, George Bailey, as an irresponsible subprime lender.
“Perhaps Mr. Potter wasn’t just a heartless Scrooge,” she wrote. “Perhaps Mr. Potter, in the absence of sufficient regulatory oversight, was the one voice of sanity keeping the good people of Bedford Falls from over-leveraging themselves. Perhaps, if we had all taken Mr. Potter a little bit more seriously, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with.” There’s one huge problem with that tall tale: The small fish in the big U.S. business pond — the George Baileys of the world, whose borrowers in the movie didn’t default — aren’t the ones who got us into this bailout mess. They didn’t make the stupid business decisions that killed our economy and then go running (or should I say flying in style) to Congress. In the modern era, Henry Potter would still be the bad guy. Were he alive today, he would be the fat-cat CEO of Countrywide Financial, or Citigroup, or AIG, or even GM or Chrysler — the man who left Bedford Falls and the free market at the mercy of another George (Bush) and Henry (Paulson). Sadly, no heroes have emerged in “It’s A Bailout Life,” and it doesn’t look like any angels are going to get their wings. Before long, we’ll all be living in Uncle Samsville.
UPDATE: I’ve refined my take on this post slightly as new thoughts about the movie and the current mess came to me. Filed under: Business and Culture and Government and Holidays Comments: 4 Comments |
|
Posted on 12.23.08 by Danny Glover @ 7:06 pm
Intellectual Conservative takes higher-brow-than-thou columnist Kathleen Parker to task for the contempt she has displayed toward “In God We Trust” Republicans, including “Enlightened Redneck Of The Year” Sarah Palin, by highlighting just how many “rednecks” in history have had good things to say about the Bible and religion. The names on the Bible appreciation list include Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis, Thomas Huxley, Daniel Webster, Horace Greeley and even modern atheist Christopher Hitchens. Presidents George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover, Harry Truman and Ronald Reagan are fans, too.
Amen to that. Filed under: Hatin' On Rednecks and Media and News & Politics and Religion Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.23.08 by Danny Glover @ 5:41 pm
I had the great pleasure of working with Chuck Todd at National Journal when he was the editor of The Hotline and I was the managing editor/editor of Technology Daily. In other words, I knew him when … Chuck left National Journal for bigger and better things at NBC and became a journalistic celebrity during the 2008 election, to the point of generating fan Web sites like Viva Chuck Todd and the now-defunct Chuck Todd Facts. Now he has parlayed that success into a new gig as NBC’s chief White House correspondent. He even has his own ad: The inside-NBC scoop that “the entire newsroom cheered loudly” after hearing the news of Chuck’s new assignment would come as no surprise to anyone who has worked with him, especially the many young journalists Chuck mentored at The Hotline. He is a talented political analyst and an inspirational newsroom leader. Congrats, Chuck. I look forward to seeing your coverage of the Obama administration. Filed under: Media and People Comments: 2 Comments |
|
Posted on 12.23.08 by Danny Glover @ 12:26 pm
The newspaper Human Events just named Sarah Palin “Conservative Of The Year” because of “her genius at annoying all the right people.” Palin deserves another, far less prestigious award for the same reason. I hereby proclaim her the first “Enlightened Redneck Of The Year.” Here are the reasons Palin won the award hands-down:
This quote from Palin in an interview with Human Events upon being named “Conservative Of The Year” sums up nicely why she is also the “Enlightened Redneck Of The Year”:
Sarah Palin is definitely no Caroline Kennedy or Barack Obama. Filed under: News & Politics and People and Rednecks Comments: 12 Comments |
|
Posted on 12.23.08 by Danny Glover @ 10:59 am
Throwing shoes at politicians in protest is all the rage thanks to the now-infamous footwear missiles launched at President Bush while he was in Iraq last week. The incident prompted a spate of online games that invite people to throw shoes at Bush. And days after the shoe-throwing attack on Bush, a man tried a similar stunt in protest of actions by New York’s transportation authority. The latest target, albeit a figurative one, is corrupt Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. A Chicago television station invited people to throw shoes at a cardboard cutout of “Blago” to raise money for needy children. It sounds like a perfectly redneck kind of thing to do. But it’s not very enlightened. Bush handled the attack on him well by laughing it off, but shoe-throwing protests could be dangerous. They certainly shouldn’t be encouraged by adults, even in jest. On the other hand, Amtrak overreacted by sending New York shoe-thrower Stephen Millies home from work after his public outburst. He hurt no one, and the First Amendment protects the rights of people who exercise free speech in childish ways, too. Filed under: Culture and News & Politics and Video Comments: 1 Comment |
|
Posted on 12.23.08 by Danny Glover @ 9:46 am
It’s not technically drinkin’ on the job, but some workers at a Ford plant are taking hours-long lunch breaks to booze it up at a favorite watering hole. How much are they getting paid again? (Hat tip to The Club For Growth) Filed under: Business and Culture Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.22.08 by Danny Glover @ 3:07 pm
I love the holidays because it’s family time. We play games, feast on fattening foods, and relive old memories while making new ones. But there’s one thing I despise about Christmastime in the cable era: the constant flood of sappy holiday movies. Since arriving at my parents’ house in the great state of West Virginia, I have been subjected to the worst kind of holiday torture for three straight nights — hour upon hour of Christmas drama courtesy of Lifetime, Hallmark and ABC Family. “Lifewhine” even has a theme for this season, “Falalala Lifetime.” Falalala Lametime is more like it. As a father, I’m all for enjoying the Christmas classics, both cartoon and otherwise, with our children. But the modern drivel gets old pretty fast. I’d much rather watch the constant replays of “Cars” and “The Incredibles.” At least they have amazing high-tech animation. Of course, there is one Christmas movie I could watch over and over and over again — and come Christmas Eve, that may be exactly what I do. You know the cinematic wonder I’m talking about: Unfortunately, “A Christmas Story” includes so much bad language and so many disrespectful attitudes that it’s not something we can watch with our young children. Filed under: Culture and Family and Holidays Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.22.08 by Danny Glover @ 10:39 am
An enlightened redneck ain’t gonna wear pointy-toed shoes if he’s a he. Melissa Clouthier skewers the latest ill-advised fashion statement of the metrosexual crowd:
This scary trend, if it is one, reminds me of the lyrics from the Brad Paisley song “I’m Still A Guy“:
(Hat tip to Instapundit) Filed under: An Enlightened Redneck ... and Culture Comments: 4 Comments |
|
Posted on 12.22.08 by Danny Glover @ 9:06 am
In all my years of traveling the hills of West Virginia and other corners of redneck America, I’ve never seen one of these. Honest. I did, however, once visit a friend’s home that had the derriere of a whitetail deer mounted on the wall amid a bunch of other taxidermy wonders. (Hat tip to Ben Witherington)  You can ring my tail Filed under: Hunting & Guns and Just For Laughs and Redneck Humor Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.21.08 by Danny Glover @ 12:05 pm
Three straight posts about deer — I guess I’ve established a theme for the weekend, but it’s an appropriate one for the season, don’t ya think? Filed under: Culture and Holidays and Redneck Humor and Redneck Music Comments: None |
|
Posted on 12.21.08 by Danny Glover @ 11:19 am
Word has it that this Christmas card was circulated around Alaska’s Legislature last week:
There is some debate about whether that is Sarah Palin steering Santa’s sleigh while he takes aim at a wolf. It sounds like a safe bet to me, based on the unwarranted grief the Republican vice-presidential nominee took this year for supporting aerial hunting. Regardless, the card is a work of creative genius by Alaskan aviation and wildlife artist Sandie Jamieson. Go see her other work. My favorites include “Alaska: The More-Oil Majority” and “Security Check.” You can get them on t-shirts! Filed under: Culture and Holidays and Hunting & Guns and Redneck Humor Comments: 17 Comments |
| « newer posts | previous posts » |
