An enlightened redneck has children who know a good gag gift when they see one. I found this gem of a stocking stuffer among my gifts this Christmas morning.

Push down on the back end of the reindeer and it deposits a scat-colored jellybean. Eat at your own risk. (I tried one, and they taste disgusting, but my kids like ‘em.) The gift was all the more hysterical because my two sweet daughters picked it.

My mother-in-law gave me a similar gift for Christmas several years ago. It was a bear-shaped carving that pooped M&Ms when you raised its tail. My wife talked me into parting with that prized possession at last year’s “white elephant” gift exchange. It was one of the hits of the party.