By K. Daniel Glover

One of the lamer storylines to emerge from the ongoing “Joe The Plumber” media feeding frenzy is the accusation that his name isn’t even Joe.

Newsflash folks: My name isn’t really Danny Glover, either. Danny is my — wait for it — nickname. And like Joe Wurzelbacher, who is actually named Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, the name I answer to is based on my middle name (Daniel), not my first name (Keith).

Ahhhhhhhh, that felt great! I’ve been keeping that secret for years. Now it’s out there and I don’t have to worry about liberal bloggers and their parrots in the mainstream media unleashing their hounds after “Danny The Enlightened Redneck.”

I have so many aliases and bylines that I can’t remember them all. When we adopted our children, I was nervous that we would be denied a family if I didn’t list every name I had ever used on the paperwork for the background checks.

It was only a matter of time before some enterprising journalist exposed me. I’ve had visions of being grilled before a congressional inquisition and having to answer question after question about my names in Alberto Gonzales-like fashion: I don’t remember … I don’t recall … I have no recollection.

Stop the badgering! My name is Danny!

Thanks to Joe The Plumber, I don’t have to live that nightmare any longer. He has inspired me to tell the whole sordid story of my many names, so here goes:
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